Personal Reflection pt 2.
What follows is more introspection...I figured a break from the standard political/Star Wars fanboy commentary would be a little refreshing. No need to read, no need to not.

Today was my last official class as an undergrad. I still have some work to turn in, still have two exams to finish up next week. But no more classes. 17 years of schooling. I'll walk a week from tomorrow and receive my diploma. In an interesting way, the end of this semester has only made me want more. Not right away (couldn't even if I wanted too) but I do want more in the future.

I remember when I graduated from Faith Academy. I had a very good high school experience--I didn't care about academics, and that freed me up to enjoy other things. I was the first person from Faith Academy to attend the Far East Wrestling tournies all four years. I participated in more plays than anyone in Faith's history either. I enjoyed four years of choir, and my senior year I took it easy, lifting weights, taking photo, drama, pottery and AP English. It was a good time, and when it ended I was scared to death. I didn't even realize it though...instead I basically couldn't eat for nearly the entire first semester in College (sadly...that changed...) I was so at home at Faith Academy that I wasn't ready for what came next--my confidence did not extend to the possibilities that lay ahead--I, in unspoken desires, longed instead for the safety that I had already grown accumstomed too.

Then I came to Biola. I chose the school, when I was in 7th grade and wanted to learn more about music. My interests changed but my choice in school did not. My family would not be near me--they spent my first year of college on home ministry, but by definition were going home and home was on the East Coast. I was here alone...and I was here for a few reasons; one of them the beautiful lady that I was convinced should be my wife; another (though it came up later) was a program that offered education in a way that made the life of the mind worthwhile. I remember really having no idea what to do--just knowing that college was the "next step" and this was where I wanted to be. Expensive? Yes. Life-changing? Unquestionably.

Now, I'm married to that same wonderful woman, we have a son...and we're thousands of dollars in debt :) and now that its taken me a few years to finally figure out what I am here for...I am getting ready to leave. Happily, I feel much less of the fear that I was unable to even articulate at the end of high school. I'm still not entirely sure which direction we're going to be headed--and we're definately not without our share of concerns. But the confidence that I lost so completely five years ago feels as if it is finally returning, at least in some measure.

Last year I sat in on the Senior Dinner, as I was running some of the techincal aspects of the evening. They were the class I was supposed to graduate with (but changing your major going into your Junior year will have the affect of delaying graduation). I was not in my element. Out of place. Lost. Lagging behind in a race that ends when you die...or so it seemed. A year has passed and things have changed. Tonight I am going to my own Senior Dinner. Its a good feeling. It is an accomplishment...its not the end--nor do I want it to be--but it feels as if it is good to celebrate. There is hope in the future--and though the constant cycle of change can be exhausting at times, this is a change that I welcome gladly.

Personal Reflection pt 1.

I had the joy of watching Star Wars last night. Although it has the largest opening in history, some still complain..."Wooden love dialogue", "Wooden Actors", and my favorite "It was too predictable."

Too predictable?!?!?!? What--you expected something OTHER then the turning of Anakin to the Dark Side? Let me guess--it was by insight that you guessed that Palpatine was the emperor, that the Republic was doomed, that Padme would die, that she'd name the kids Luke and Leia, that Obi Wan and Yoda alone of the Jedi would live, etc., right? Oh wait--we already knew all that--we've known it for 20 years now. The point wasn't a new story--it was the chance to see it told in full.

And it was beautiful. I'll admit it wasn't the best story--but Star Wars as a legacy is easily one of my favorites. Despite the failures of Episodes 1 & 2, the Star War's fantasy has affected me more than almost any other fantasy I can think of. Its probably in part due to the fact that it lived on screen before it lived anywhere else--Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings was amazing, but didn't stir the same chord in me that Star Wars does. I watch the Lord of the Rings and I want to read the book. I watch Star Wars and I never want the movie to end (get better, sure, but not end...).

I'll admit it--I'm addicted to the story. The myth that Star Wars plays at is intoxicating. At the end of every one of the six movies I feel instantly a confused mixture of happiness, longing, excitement and sadness. I'm a fanboy--I know it and admit it. Never dressed up, probably never will...never spent money on the fakey looking "lightsabers"...because I don't dream about imitating the magic...my dreams are occupied with living inside it. That's why, though on occascion even I will groan, the dialogue can wizz by me even when its wanting without ruining my time. Its true of almost no other movie (though, again, I'll sheepishly admit I also have a soft-spot for John Wayne movies)...when I watch Star Wars I have always been totally involved in its story, and uninterested in the distracting factors that would pierce its fantasy.

I won't be writing about Star Wars anymore--having watched it there's little reason to continue to opine about my enjoyment of it. But it was a special moment last night. In many ways it was everything I could have wanted it to be--not perfect (and if you want I could give my suggestions for how they could have salvaged it--key word: the love story) but still very special.

They say people hate America...

And Newsweek ensured that their statements were true.

Well, the pictures do reveal a problem...

Not quite the one the British Sun intended to reveal though, I think. Mental note--when trying to expose the cruelties and abuse of the Americans, try to do so without committing insulting acts of degredation yourself. When Saddam Hussein is suing you, and you have to use the "freedom of the press" line of argument to defend yourself, you've reached a new low.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4567341.stm

Desecration of the Galaxy...

This is too much.

The French (and the rest of Europe) on France

I am doing my 20 page research seminar on Franco/Anglo-Saxon relations in the 20th Century...I know--terribly boring, but for some reason it piqued my interest in January. Oh well. Anyways, I thought this was funny, and since I have revisions to write on a paper about the French, I'm fairly appreciative. Enjoy.

See, I told you so.

Proof. The Democrats are causing the government to cease functioning. Thank you Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid. Next time you have a complaint about the effectivness of the Federal government--take it up with Reid and his ilk.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk to wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on where there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

~Rudyard Kipling

Getting Riled Up

They won't hesitate to dictate to the President and Congress what they believe the leadership of the nation should do. However, let the tables be turned, allow someone to suggest that Newsweek needs to make amends for the ridiculous "mistake" it made, and once again freedom of the press is being infringed. Not much else to say...just wanted to point it out because its important to notice the games they play.

The Preposterous Notion of a War For Oil

It seems ridiculous to have to reiterate this, but America did not go to war over oil in Iraq. What we did go to war for was the confrontation of a power-mad dictator who was in violation of international demands concerning his ambitions for becoming a nuclear power. What we did go to war for was the opportunity to remove a dictator who viciously tortured and butchered his people, in favor of establishing a functioning democracy in the center of the Middle East.

Consequentially, we succeeded.

The only people who insist we made war for the sake of oil are the people who have consistently ignored the threat that Saddam posed to the free world.

Of course, the question quickly arises--why didn't we attack North Korea then? Because, contrary to what the critics of the war in Iraq believe, America under the leadership of George Bush is not carving out an empire for itself. Iraq had violated the terms of the ceasefire which ended the Gulf War--and had done so for years under the Clinton administration. By the time Bush came to power, the standard take on the issue was that it was being essentially ignored. Then 9/11 happened and the US was given the incentive to look proactively towards securing the peace for the future. Hence we invaded Afghanistan--with the aim of removing the Taliban and closing one of the terrorist's primary training grounds. Hence we aggressively confronted Saddam's blatant definace of the internationally upheld demands for the cessation of any and all nuclear development. Hence we responded when that was ignored.

In North Korea, the situation is a little different. There are still diplomatic options available--due in part to the fact that North Korea's most important benefactor, China, has the responsiblity of restraining the North Koreans. The situations are not the same. The fact that Iraq happens to possess oil is irrelevant--Afghanistan didn't and we attacked there first.

You would think this wouldn't be something we'd need to go over again. But, you'd be wrong.

Riiiiight

The most ironic (if disturbing) news today...

In the same court room that he committed murder in, he's pleading not guilty. How can any lawyer seriously try and defend this man???

The Hits, They Just Keep On a Comin'...

Unbelievable. Predictable, but unbelievable.

This should shake the very core of Newsweek, NBC, etc--and more importantly, the motivation behind this story needs to be flately exposed. Its a circus where the people who claim accountability is their primary concern dodge responsibility at every turn.

OUTRAGEOUS!

Even when its not our fault, its our fault. Whaddaya gonna do?!?

Senate Democrats Fault U.S. in Iraq Oil Scandal

By AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE

Published: May 17, 2005

WASHINGTON, May 16 (Reuters) - The United States did not do enough to curb corruption by American companies involved in the United Nations' oil-for-food program in Iraq, say Democrats on a Senate committee investigating abuses in the program.

A report by the Democrats released late Monday said the State Department and the United States Treasury's Office of Foreign Assets Control had taken "virtually no steps" to ensure that American companies enforced sanctions against Iraq.

"We have to look in the mirror at ourselves as well as pointing fingers at others," said Senator Carl Levin of Michigan, the ranking Democrat on the Senate's Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations.

The committee is to hold a hearing on Tuesday at which a member of the British Parliament, George Galloway, is to respond to allegations that Saddam Hussein gave him the rights to export 20 million barrels of oil under the oil-for-food program. Mr. Galloway has called the allegations "absurd."

The report presented Monday indicates that American imports of Iraqi oil helped finance about 52 percent of clandestine deals carried out illegally under the oil-for-food program at the time when Iraq was under United Nations sanctions.

The report looked at kickback allegations against a Texas company, Bayoil USA, which was indicted in the investigation of the $67 billion oil-for-food program. The program allowed Iraq to sell oil to buy civilian goods for its people living under United Nations sanctions.

Bayoil executives pleaded not guilty last month to charges the company was part of a scheme to pay millions of dollars in kickbacks to Mr. Hussein in exchange for oil deals.

Records kept by the Iraqi Oil Ministry's State Oil Marketing Organization showed that Iraq collected about $228 million in surcharges from September 2000 to September 2002, the report said.

It contends that Bayoil "facilitated" about $37 million in illegal surcharges to Mr. Hussein and then engaged in lobbying efforts to influence the price of Iraqi oil and to oppose American efforts to stop the surcharges.

"Bayoil engaged in this misconduct for nearly two years, from 2000 to 2002, without attracting meaningful oversight from any U.S. agency," the report said.

The report said questions raised by United Nations oil observers about Bayoil's oil-for-food activities produced no American response. Asked about the report, the State Department said it could not comment on a report it had not seen.

The company's lawyer said she would respond later to allegations made against Bayoil in the Democrats' report.

The Message From Cannes

Last year Michael Moore's documentary won top honors. It braved the critics, supposedly--as if suggesting that the action in Iraq and Afghanistan is "illegal" and the result of a conspiracy is brave. Courage, as we've been discussing in our pre-Academy sessions on Plato's Laches, doesn't seem to exist when its the popular status quo. The Right-Wing "nutjobs" suggested that Moore was helping hatred of America take center stage--and of course they were laughed at--criticized as narrow-minded lemmings.

This year at Cannes Film Festival...no Michael Moore. Instead we have a plethora of films criticizing the American life--no longer limited to simply the "illegal" war we're waging, but now aimed at taking down the influence that America has on the free-world as a whole. Take, for example, the sentiments of Danish film maker Lars Von Trier:

Von Trier, whose fear of flying has prevented him from visiting the United States, won thunderous cheers at the world premiere and a news conference, where he said he enjoyed bashing America on screen because it invades his life even in Denmark.

"We are all under the influence -- and it's a very bad influence -- from America," said the 49-year-old Dane. "In my country everything has to do with America. America is kind of sitting on the world.

"America has to do with 60 percent of my brain and all things I experience in my life, and I'm not happy about that," von Trier said. I'd say 60 percent of my life is American so I am in fact an 'American' too. But I can't go there and vote or change anything there. That is why I make films about America."

The whole article is here.

Many things come to mind, reading this. Especially as I study the history of the European nations during the twentieth-century, or the "American Century" as it has been called...I could point out that this Dane would have quite a different complaint if it were for the invasive nature of America--he'd have Germany and the Nazis instead.

I could point out that, having never visited America he is as narrow-minded as he would like to suggest Americans are when they label Europeans.

But most of all, I could point out that regardless of his complaints, he lives in a world where the last remaining Superpower continues to dominate the world in all the important ways--and he has not been prevented from making his hate-film of America. In any other time, under any other power as completely awesome as the United States is today--this man would not have survived his critique. However, due almost entirely to the very nature of the freedom that defines the nation he has chosen to blame for the woes of his nation and the world (and because we have defended that freedom and bestowed it upon almost the entire rest of the world) he can participate freely with other aficionados of the film world in critiquing the affects of the American lifestyle on his world. They have gathered together to celebrate the the burning of America in effigy and it is a media event with glamour and glitz. Someday, the irony may finally catch-up to them. I won't hold my breath.

So much for the valor of Michael Moore. Even Star Wars has gotten into the fray. When you're in the same group as Star Wars--you're not edgy, you're just one of the clones.

Behind the Eight-Ball

Senator Reid, who perhaps needs to be reminded he is the Minority Leader, felt he should offer a compromise to the Republican majority with regard to the Democrat's present stance on Judicial Nominees. The nature of the compromise? Why, if Republicans will cater to the demands of the minority, then the minority will proceed to continue the delay of confirming Judicial nominees. Win/Win, right?

This is getting ridiculous. I think the filibuster should be retained if possible--but what is currently happening is the stage is being set for it to be removed altogether--because its abuse is translating into the dereliction of the government's responsibilities. The Republicans need to make it clear that the majority in our government governs--and the way that the minority is behaving presently may result in serious consequences. But the majority cannot behave as if they are behind the eight ball forever. Warning to Senator Reid--you're cutting ties with your only weapons. You're reasonable options are anything but--and you'll lose more power by trying to close down the government you don't control then you did even when you lost control in 1994.

I continue to watch the demise of the Deomcratic Party with satisfaction--but I am wary. In the vacuum that will be left when the present blowhards of the Left are gone, who will fill the space? The Moore party? The Dean party? The Atheistic Relativism Party?

I gotta admit...I'm feeling the heat. One more week and then I can lose myself in the thousand other projects to accomplish.
No problem.
Piece of Cake.

Right.

Bed Time and Glimpses of the Divine.

I know that every husband, every wife and every parent, see images of God in the new relationships they are experiencing. I did on my wedding day. I did when we discovered that from us two would come a son. And last night, I experienced yet another glimpse of the divine through the simple interaction of putting my son to sleep.

He's been very tired. Got his shots (from a free clinic) and has been very tired as a result. Its been very hot recently, so putting him to sleep is something of a problem--he likes to be swaddled and then goes right to sleep--we have tried not swaddling him, and he keeps himself awake, even when he desperately wants to go to sleep. However, this makes him so hot that he'll wake up later in discomfort. So last night we decided to let him sleep on his own--no blankets, cause he'll pull them over his head and cry even more. This was no fun, for Aiden or his parents. He cried so hard, but we had resolved not to help him to sleep--he needed to learn to fall asleep himself. The most we would allow was giving him back his Nuk (pacifier) every now and then. Well, he had cried for about half an hour when I went in to see him. He was lying there, just crying as hard as he could, and upon seeing me raised his arms reaching out for me. I felt bad for him, but was only going to put his Nuk back in his mouth and then leave again. Or so I thought.

When I reached down and gave him the Nuk, he reached up and grabbed onto my wrist. His tiny hand held it and instantly he grew quieter. I stroke his head and whispered that everything was going to be fine--that he needed to sleep. He closed his eyes but mainatined his grip on my hand...and I started to pull away. Instantly he was awake and crying again. I relaxed my hand and again soothed him to sleep. I stayed with him, watching him finally find the peace of sleep. Every now and then his free hand would reach over and stroke my hand which he had never let go. It wasn't until I had waited a full five minutes after he closed his eyes before I was able to gently slide my hand from his and leave him to dream.

I know I didn't do it "right" and that Aiden didn't fall asleep entirely on his own as a result. But I couldn't leave him when just holding my hand gave him peace that he was incapable of finding on his own.

Its probably fairly obvious what parts of this remind me of our relationship with God. All too often I have been the infant crying for even the slightest amount of attention, believing myself to be lost in a bed that offers none of the attention I so desperately crave from my heavenly father. Worse still--often like Aiden I feel that I am not even strong enough to enable myself to move and go where I want to go--and in utter helplessness I feel abandoned.

What was unique for me last night, however, was the other perspective. As the parent. I know that Aiden is alright--even as he screams bloody murder--I know that he is exactly where he needs to be because he needs sleep. And this exercise isn't because I like hearing him scream (far from it!); its so he can grow and learn how to sleep in peace himself. I wanted to help him--to hold him and put him to sleep--but he wouldn't learn then--and probably wouldn't sleep even if I did hold him. The only thing I could do was let him cry and learn the lesson. Then, when I did stand next to the crib and let him hold my hand for comfort...more clearly than I have ever before, I think I saw a little better how God looks on us. The joy that offering even a little comfort can bring is so great, its hard to express. I couldn't leave my son last night...not in the face of the simple need that he had. It made me consider what is actually going on when I feel alone and abandoned by God. Surely He, more than I ever will, understands the needs of my heart. Surely He does not abandon us when we cry out--even if it feels like it. Surely He is with us, even to the end of the age.

The other thing this made me think about was what, exactly, the crucifiction must have meant. "My God, My God--why have You forsaken me?" How God must have wanted to reach out and comfort His son...my desire to offer Aiden a little peace can hardly compare--but because of last night I know a little bit more than I did before. To resist the urge to save His son...it seems impossible. Almost everyone recognizes the concept of sacrifice for romantic love...but sacrifice for paternal love is one we often discount. The love between the perfect father and the perfect son was sacrificed for us--at best, tainted orphans. An awe-some thought.

Not that these ruminations are unique or original. They're just special for me--as is any instance when the simplistic expands our understanding of the boundless eternal and divine. Hearing others explain the truth is never quite as life-altering as glimpsing it yourself.

Why Hate Never Wins

We witnessed something in November that re-enforced the old truth--hate doesn't win. In an election where so much was at stake, and a little less than half the nation was convinced that they would see a landslide to remove the man they deeply hated from office--there were two messages consistently being heard. One was a message of purpose, duty, responsibility, safety and strength. The other was "Anyone but Bush", mixed in with out rhetoric. It wasn't surprising when the Left lost, because simply hating someone or something isn't enough. You need a positive message to win a war.

Well, the terrorists in Iraq could take a page from this book. It makes sense that the Left is intimidated by the hatred that they see in the terrorists--people who believe hate is effective would necessarily be impressed by the intense hatred evident there. But hate cannot build a nation. Hate cannot unite people. Hate loses wars.

We are intentionally building something in Iraq--and our task has been clear since day one--remove a tyrant, and give freedom to the oppressed. The various groups in Iraq have a variety of causes that they fight for...and their unifying trait is, you guessed it, hate. Its simply not enough.

Republicans in '08

So everybody knows we're going to see a Democrat circus in '07 and '08, as Hillary and some other guy prepare to run for the highest office. My guess would be...maybe Hillary and Edwards, but we'll see.

But who's going to run for the Republicans? George Bush has left large shoes to fill, and nobody looks like the obvious choice for heir-apparent. I figured nobody would be interested in Cheney...but I was wrong. So Cheney might receive some consideration...not the most exciting guy, but he's easily one of the most knowledgeable men walking around D.C. today. Then there's Condi...Guilanni...Frist...Allen...who, who, who? I'm glad we haven't jumped the gun--a large difference between the Republicans and the Dems this time around--almost before the election was over people were talking (whether in fear or hope) about Hillary in '08. We don't have anyone like that...though I think Condi comes the closest. Condi and Cheney? Cheney and Condi?

Its gonna be interesting.

Good Call Newsweek...

This is the problem with our press today. So eager to break the stories that will "reveal all" that will show just how corrupt and despicable the tactics of the "illegal" war on terror are...that they publish incorrect information--information that they admit will be used to fan unrest against our citizens, soldiers--and then say "sorry" as if that matters anymore.

Bravo, Newsweek Editors. Next time your "Conventional Wisdom" gives its insight--why not taking a good look in the mirror. As this will very likely NOT happen, I humbly offer my own CW on the situation.

Old CW--Newsweek has an obvious left slant but has some real value to it when it comes to getting news--and the cartoons are the best in the News Mag world.
New CW--Newsweek is all about grabbing headlines, and our soldiers pay the price. Hint--Check sources before printing.

George Lucas and Politics...

He's responsible for one of my favorite fantasies. He's also responsible for turning out two less than acceptable prequels. His presence is unmistakeable if you're familiar with his films...and that usually means both good and bad things.

Nobody ever thought of him as a political officinado. So when he decides to mix politics with the Star Wars legacy...its not just old and stale and poorly done...its in bad taste. If I wanted to hear some Hollywood prima donna opine about their understanding of the American Democracy and politics in the world today, I'd watch Michael Moore's tripe. As it is...leave Star Wars alone. It has enough weight to carry living up to the immortal first trilogy without being saddled with the weight of a bad understanding of international politics.

Terry Scott Taylor...TONIGHT!

Friday, May 13

Terry Scott Taylor

7pm in the Collegium at Biola University

A prolific singer-songwriter with 30 years of experience making a living in music, Terry Scott Taylor is bringing his one-man show to Biola's Collegium by special invitation. During his long career, Terry has restlessly re-invented his musical style repeatedly: He was an important figure in the "Jesus music" movement of the 1970s, a boundary-breaking innovator throughout the 80s with his band Daniel Amos, and the front man for The Swirling Eddies and the Lost Dogs throughout the 90s. Still presiding over all three bands and maintaining a solo career, Terry also produces for other artists, records soundtracks for movies, TV shows and video games, and whistles on his way to the mailbox. How does he keep it all up? His lyrics are thoughtful, literary, and formed by his deep Christian faith. (Check him out at danielamos.com)

Who can describe a Terry Taylor solo performance? It's a mixture of a concert, stand-up comedy, story-telling, devotional meditations, goofy sing-alongs, tear-jerking ballads, news analysis, punch lines, plot twists, snide asides and prophetic words. He will use his magic powers to hypnotize you.

He may sing songs about the end of the world, the cross of Christ, or his cat. I can't really predict or control his repertoire. (On a personal note, let me say that if you don't like his music, you will only lower my opinion of you.)

I get to see him tonight. For Free. Its the end of a very long, and a little discouraging week. This is a highlight.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...

Its one of those "Why on earth would you go there?!?!???" moments.

"Was It Worth It?" The recent article by Pat Buchanan which essentially decides that one evil in history negates the validity of the struggle against the evil that existed before it. Sigh.

Its bad enough that this man came to this ridiculous suggestion...its worse that he's also associated with the church and therefore will attract those that are looking for any reason to propagate the idea that Christians are callous to the troubles of the world--that he never once mentions the holocaust in his article (either as a positive OR a negative) is truly disturbing. And so the reaction is fairly predictable.

I'm not prepared to summarily judge Mr Buchanan one way or the other...but this was a really bad choice. Really bad. Maybe I'm extra sensitive cause I love history...but this is almost inexcusable in its narrowminded scope.

Plus, I'm a Churchill fan. Big time. Sigh...Bad, Bad, Bad choice.

Medi-Cal...that leech which continues to suck the life from my nerves...

I hate Medi-Cal.

It's not just that they treat you as if you're illiterate (even though at this point...nevermind--suffice to say, I'm not illiterate).

It's not just that they have easily the most inefficently run office in the world (and I have lived in a country that comes close--the immigration offices of the Philippines must have taken their cue from America's poorly run government aid systems).

Its not even (though its almost) the fact that its impossible to be well-informed and on a good basis with your "worker"--because you have to call within the window of two hours in the morning to get a hold of them--and most of the time, you won't even then, and you can't simply walk in and try and sort things out because you can't have an appointment without calling first (which, as I already mentioned, DOESN'T work) so you end up sitting in their overcrowded waiting rooms for hours till someone walks out to tell you that they sent the wrong paper work because the "computer sends all sorts of things."

No--even taken all together, this still doesn't make this the worst office in the world. For that, they have to endanger my family. But Chris, you'll say, surely an institute that is in place to help familes without means provide insurance for their babies so they can get much needed medical attention wouldn't endanger those same babies through negligence...or at least, that's what I said to myself.

But, no. You (and unfortunately I) would be wrong.

Medi-Cal is the devil. They are the devil for this reason: Aiden is not getting the medical attention he needs to ensure that he grows strong and healthy, all because of the inexcusably poor quality of service that they offer. After sending them the forms that they requested at least half a dozen times (though a better estimate might put it at something like 8-10) we are still receiving paperwork from them saying they want the same forms or they will discontinue our insurance. And inspite of involving ourselves in the meaningless task of trying to contact them and clear things up over the phone (and even asking them to call us with notes on the paperwork we send them) we still have made zero progress with these people. At one point, out of extreme frustration, I decided to talk to this imbicle myself--and found out she wanted forms that don't exist. I was at a loss...but we went to Biola and they helped us out by drafting the information in a form for us. I thought that we had finally beaten the system--this was going to be our triumphal moment--and as a celebration we could finally give Aiden his second round of innoculations. Apparantly I am a fool to hope. No sooner did they receive that then they started asking for other paper work--which had already sent--and then they changed our "worker" without any notice--and the new idiot has no idea what's going on either.

However...after a lot of paperwork and calls and what not...we got reinstated and scheduled an appointment (cause we can pay for it again). So now we have a doctor's appointment today. Hopefully they won't call children services because of the long time between appointments. Oh, and we received a notice on Monday that if they don't get X forms by Friday, we'll be discontinued again. Words do not exist for my feelings at present.

I am just at a loss. At this point, I don't care about my time--apparently that's something the government offices have, do and will waste. But this is the health of my son we're talking about here. That's what they're supposed to be there for. And I am getting pretty tired of having them yank us around with him in the middle.

This only re-enforces my belief that the private sector would be a better place for things like this. People in a government job like Medi-Cal don't have to care or worry about their preformance--because who am I, the broke parent, going to talk to? What real power do I have?

The question--do I have any better ideas? Well yes, I do actually. Turn the money that funds Medi-Cal to the private sector. Offer insentives to private insurance companies and make the various options available to the public. The private companies would only get paid if they retained the patronage of people like me (i.e. people who need help for their children's sake). Free market baby. It works everywhere else--are you telling me it wouldn't work in this area? There would be more efficent healthcare, because when there's a chance for profit based on quality, quality instantly begins to show itself. This seems obvious to me...but hey--I'm just a broke, apparantly illiterate, and now neglectful parent. What do I know?

I need a job. A real job that gives coverage to my family. I am going to be applying for teaching positions in Christian schools in Whittier and Pasadena. Pray, please.

I hate Medi-Cal.

Star Wars article for the week.

Still getting excited about this movie. I haven't bought tickets (no money) but I am going to have to figure out how to manage to see it very shortly. Its too important. :)

Signs of Insanity

I forget the exact wording...the definition of insanity is repeatedly doing an action even after it has proven itself to be ineffective, or something to that effect...

The Democrats qualify for classification as insane, in my humble opinion. They have lost the Congress. They have lost the Presidency (when, according to all their dependable sources, it would be sheer madness to expect George W. Bush to be re-elected for another four years...). They will lose more of the Supreme Court--which will hurt them for years to come.

But they keep running the same people. The answer to the Kerry/Edwards loser approach to an election? Apparently, Kerry, Edwards (and possibly even Gore) believe they can still get the job done. And of course, all of them are lurking in the wings to return of the only other name the Dems think can win an election--Clinton. But I've already commented on Hillary. It's still three years away, but there are already rumors and articles about the prospective chances of various failed Democrat candadites.

Though I do think that the inability of a President to run for a third term opened the door for lame-duck second terms, there's still time before we will have them dominating the news once again. But at some point...don't even the Dems get a little tired of seeing the same names--the same loser names--taking up the space?

Civil Religion and America

You should read this article...I don't agree with everything he says--but at least it suggests that there is someone on the left who recognizes what a bad plan Hillary running would be.

Alrighty...the idea of civil religion is that there are symbols, certain types of speech, etc, which make up a "civil religion" in which all the citizens of a nation believe in--not to be confused with actual faith. Like the flag, or national prayer days. The problem with the theory behind civil religion (a term actually punctuated by the French enlightenment philosopher Roussaeu but elaborated upon for yours truly by Dr.s Richard Pierard and Robert Linder) is that it falls into one of two assuming, over-simplifications; either it lumps all of the actions of our nation into faith inspired/manipulated crusades (think, Battle Hymn of the Republic, Spanish-American war, even the World Wars and Cold Wars) or it suggests that the masses of the nation are blindly devoted to symbols and religious speech which are dangled in front of them by deceiving politicians who know just how big a farce their personal religion is. Also, according to the good doctors, the only really religious (read Evangelical Christian) Presidents were as a result of their real faith, failures.

Here's my problem: this assumes that there is no legitimate faith in the heart of the nation. Whereas...Eisenhower...Reagan...McKinley...Lincoln...and even our current leader Mr Bush all state plainly a firm belief that there is an unshakeable connection to the freedom and prosperity that America (and a free nation) enjoys, and the foundation of religious (read Judeo-Christian faith) at its heart. Now...yes, Judeo-Christianity leaves a fairly large playing field open...but its definately starting on the right track. I agree with Ike--cause I like Ike--our freedoms, our liberty, our values that define us from our enemies (whether terrorist or communist) are rooted in something very deep--something beyond simple rhetoric, something beyond delusions of divine providence. And what I see happening (I say "I" loosely, as I am fully aware that this is not "my" thought--several, much more qualified men and women have said this already) in today's culture is quickly dividing into one of two groups...and the last time we saw a conflict of this magnitude looming before us, with irreconcilable sides demanding the full capitulation of the other, was arguably in 1860 (possibly in 1925, with the Scopes trial and the ending of the age of the Fundamentalists...but I think that was less of a war and more a blind-siding of Christianity by the ACLU).

My belief is that we are headed towards all out war...where the ridiculous suggestions of atheists in Berkeley and San Francisco for the editting of the pledge will find root elsewhere...or, failing that, the blue edges of the country will take the statements of men like Harry Reid and realize that being out of touch with the rest of the country they need to use the power of population in the few states they control to push through changes in the nation.

The interesting thing about this country in that we are a nation of laws which are upheld primarily by the submission of the people to the rule of law. In otherwords--our laws work primarily because we say that our laws work. One of my profs was telling the story of riots that took place in Oklahoma in the late 1920's. martial law was declared, over one city after another, by the state governor in response to the brutal killing of a black man by racists in one small city. Whenever criticism came from another city, the governor closed that city down--till the whole state was locked down. By law, however, the citizens of the state that made up the national guard, couldn't do anything other then enforce the commands of their commander-in-chief, the governor. However, also by law the governor could be impeached by the state council...which is exactly what happened. The state council called a secret meeting and empeached the governor. They announced that he had been impeached, and the period of martial law instantly ended. I could not help but laugh when I heard that story--because it only illustrates just how devoted the American mind is to the ideas of law and justice.

However...given enough provocation...people will break almost any ties that binds. Its happened before...as a historian I am certain it will happen again--and my predicition is it will revolve around the battle of ideas--secular, anti-religionists versus the religious right...and one of these two sides will be irresversibly put down, just as the South was put down into ruin after the war. My sad guess is that it will be the religious right...partly because though I would hope to be successful in our fight, it seems evident to me that God's people will ultimately fail in this world until He returns.

Not exactly a cheery outlook for the day I suppose...I still get excited talking about it though. Growing up I read about the great struggles that had taken place before I was born and wished I could have partaken in the burden. Well, for better or worse I believe that I am living within sight of the next great struggle in our nation--even as the next great struggles of our nation is even now being waged in the Middle East.

And I find that exciting.

Star Wars This Week.

This sounds very hopeful.

Narnia

In a world where we now have Middle Earth, Harry Potter and even Lemmony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events on the big screen, I think that Disney and Walden books have really done something very right. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is still being made, the teaser trailer for this upcoming fantasy looks very good. Not quite Lord of the Rings good, but still looks like a quality production--more along the lines of the third Harry Potter, The Prisoner of Azkaban. I'm officially hopeful--it was one of my favorites growing up, and its never been done impressively on screen. It has all of the morals and values of Tolkien, with a mix of the atmosphere of a Series of Unfortunate Events and Harry Potter. I'll be watching for more in the future.

Speaking of Harry Potter...here's the new teaser for the Goblet of Fire, due to be released sometime this year I believe. It looks good--one of my favorite things about the Harry Potter series--J.K. Rowling makes it clear that confrontations between right and wrong DO happen, that there is not only gray areas of morality and no action required. Good Stuff.

Good Coffee, Hot Coffee...and Clair de Lune.

I am back in the library. Yesterday was bad. I have Aiden duty on the weekends (Sheri is working to help us stay afloat--and that involves waking up even earlier then I do on the only days that I stay home--so I have no real complaints, just giving an explanation). But I was exhausted yesterday--I'm talking dizzy, aching, delirious. Then our friends the Nicks saved my life and babysat Aiden, giving me the opportunity to sleep for about 5 hours in the afternoon. I now feel much better.

So this morning I am back in the library, preparing to write several papers for this evening...and I have pleasure of sipping very good hot coffee, and listening to Claude Debussy's Clair de Lune, from "Suite Bergamasque" (if you've seen the new Ocean's Eleven, think about the scene in front of the fountain, after they have successfully pulled the job...and the music that was playing as they watched the water dance). Its a beautiful morning.

Now I get to write 24 pages on Civil Religion and American Politics/Government. Piece of cake. If Danny Ocean can rob three casinos, I can write 24 pages. In the physical universe we occupy, it can be done--and, funnily enough, must be done. Cheers!

Valentines Day
Pics of Us

The boy.
Pics of Us

various pics
Pics of Us

Several Misc. Pics
Pics of Us

Aiden, learning to crawl.
Pics of Us

Democracy Today

A fine day for Democracy today.

Today, Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid declared that in his opinion, President Bush is a Loser. Reid has also suggested that Bush thinks of himself as "King George" not President George. Is there any wonder why the Democrat party is the minority today? They have to first come to grips with reality before they can see results in elections.

And, really, there's nothing more satisfying then having an ex-KGB agent lecture America on Democracy.

Here's to the free world--free enough to withstand two blow-hards like Reid and Putin.

Music for the Soul

I'm one of those "listen to my favorite songs (or parts of songs) over and over again" type of people. Sometimes...listening to it once simply wasn't enough. I know Lewis says something about it in his Space Trilogy--an excess of desire or something to that effect. So I try to avoid it if I can. However...

Today I am working in the library. I, of course, have music playing with my earphones on so I can let it get loud if I need too. I decided to play the soundtrack from Blues Brothers 2000 which I saw when I was a...Junior?...Senior? in highschool. It was amazing. The movie, as a movie, was less then good...but the music...I couldn't stop thinking about it. I grew up in a Christian household and though I received a very diverse music education from parents that loved music, I was very naive--I really was only beginning my musical education (albeit with a strong foundation in staples like Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles, the Beachboys, U2, Bread, America, Badfinger, Sinatra, the Presidents of the United States of America, etc)...but when I saw the Blues Brothers...I soared. The music was so perfect--so freeing. I quickly went out and bought the soundtrack and began listening...and as time went by I learned more and more about who was playing in the large compliation numbers (originally I knew only Eric Clapton, Aretha Franklin and BB King). And I overplayed it and stoped listening to it...

Until today. Ah. Its a rare treat to abandon something that was good because you became too familiar with it and then come back to it later to find that it is as good as (and maybe better than) it ever was before. The only problem with listening to this music that moves with harmonies and rhythms that command your body's attention is that I want to join in with the music and, of course, I am working in a library. Shhh. So I turn it up nice and loud (about 75% on the total potential volume--so my ears get hot listening) and I just try to hold in all that the music brings up. Fortunately I am also alone in my little room, pasting call numbers to books...that way nobdy can laugh at me as I bounce, sway, and mouth-along to the lyrics.

I have so much energy right now, I feel like I could explode. Now that's good music.

The Da Vinci Code, the Church and Homosexuality.

I decided I should read it. Its become influential enough that if you want to be preparred when talking with someone in our society today about the church or spiritual things, you should know what its all about. I am nowhere near being done with it--I haven't had enough time to really read it--otherwise I think I would have finished it already. I'll say this for it--its a fairly fun read. The author clearly has a handle on the "cliffhanger" endings to his chapters--which might get old if his chapters lasted more then two to three pages maximum. As it is...it keeps the book moving.

That said...I really haven't gotten very far into the book to really know the full philosophy that Dan Brown is trying to espouse. However--a few thoughts have come up that I thought I might comment on...

First: the pagan views of the feminine versus the church views of the feminine. Without going into great detail, my take on Brown's opinion (or at least, the character Langdon's opinion) is that while there is some truth in the suggestion that the church has, in its history, belittled the position of women, he is blaming the entire patriarchal system of the world on the manipulative, sinister (funnily enough, a feminine word) plot by the founders and protectors of the Christian faith. That seems overly simple minded--even if you don't accept the views of the roles between the sexes that are evidenced in the pre-church Old Testament. It ignores the fact that the role of women has never been the same as the role of men--and often women were considered second class citizens (even the enlightened Greeks of Athens, though they did give them citizenship and even bestowed citizenship through the maternal line, did not consider women equal to men).

Second: the suggestion that this pagan belief believes strongly in the need for a balance between masculine and feminine. This would seem to suggest a natural argument against homosexuality coming from the pagans--one completely unrelated to any biblical authority (because the church is pro-male, anti-female according to Brown). In fact, given the ideas that Brown suggested about the belief in male superiority, it seems like the church would be in support (if not directly, at least they would allow it) of Homosexuality (think ancient Athens, with older men loving young boys) while the pagans, the devotees of the "sacred feminine" would be the chief proponents of the arguement that homosexuality is in every way anti-nature.

Instead, one of the leaders of the pagan, Da Vinci, was apparently a homosexual. That doesn't make sense, given the deeper understanding of the universe that the pagans apparently had, compared to the superstituous and manipulative church.

So...thus far, though I am enjoying my read, its hardly a well constructed arguement from what I can see. Its not even consistent with its own presumptions.

Yeah...its gonna be amazing.

Linking Blogs

Not really sure the proper etiquette when it comes to linking other people. On the one hand...if they're in a public domain, and they haven't selected privacy options, then I'm not exactly trespassing on anyone's thoughts, right? On the other hand...there does seem to be some protocol to linking someone else. Thus far I have linked others that I know without really asking because they have made their links public in other forums. But now I'm reading other blogs, and when I find interesting ones I want to link them--if only for easy access for me. Is there anything wrong with that? Do these strangers deserve a request before I link them? Or does the public nature of the blog pre-empt any concerns about personal privacy? Your insight is appreciated.

On a completely different note...I have a steaming hot mug of Irish Cream/Hazelnut coffee right now...and its making this morning sooooo much better. I know I'm a wimp when it comes to coffee--or as my Dad calls my beverage, a "flavored drink"...but honestly, without the flavors I don't see the appeal. It used to be the same when it came to alcohol--thoughI think I have gotten better (in the very limited instances when I have partaken in between semesters, of course) at appreciating flavors in wine. A wine tasting helps with that--the one in Disneyland is good fun. Go on a coaster after spending half an hour tasting wine! :)

A Jedi Master?

I already said I was excited about Star Wars...thus solidifying my status as a nerd.

SO periodically, in the build-up to May 19th, and the conclusion of one of the best Fantasy Series ever (inspite of the less then fantastic newer episodes, Star Wars as a legacy is still top notch), I will post little fun things on Star Wars. Today's comes from the Star Wars online folder at Biola:

This link will help you discover your destiny. Have fun, post results in the comments.

I'm:

You are a Jedi Guardian. The Republic wouldn't be the same without you. There are alternatives to fighting, but you will do what you have to do to defend the peace. Refine your skills by growing stronger in your connection to the Force. It will get you through many difficult circumstances. May the Force be with you.

Oh yeah.

Freedom of What Now?

Some people have too much time on their hands. Take for example, the Italian website lampooning the German Pope by suggesting he's a Nazi. Apparently, this is funny. Nevermind the inappropriate nature of it, nevermind the fact that the memory of the Nazis is one that has rightly held a special place of infamy. More interesting though, is the fact that when people try to do something about it, the red flags for the defense of Free Speech perk up instantly.

Even the head of the Italian Press Union admits that its wrong...but ultimately free speech wins out when it comes to priorities: "I do not agree with the message's content, in fact I find it very serious, but press freedom cannot be called into question," he added.

My question is: why does it seem impossible to discuss limiting the scope of "free speech" in a free society? Not that I am opposed to Freedom of Expression--I believe that Free Speech is requisite for a free society--but does that translate into unrestricted, uncensored, irresponsible freedom or nothing at all? Can there not be a way of setting parameters, establishing values, that still allows for freedom but carries with it the understanding that there is a responsibility where freedom is involved? Why does our own society protect the Freedom of Speech above all others? Doesn't it seem logical that there is a better, stabler type of freedom when there are standards and values which are respected--other then merely the standard and value of "freedom"?

Ironically, the people that staunchly defend the right to say whatever you want as essential to democracy don't feel the same way about, say, the right to bear arms. While on the one hand, it is restrictive and instrusive and oppressive to put any limitations on what people say, on the other hand those same people frequently propose the limitation of the kind of weapons that are available to the citizens of this free society. Now, I'll admit that it seems logical that for safety's sake you don't allow certain types of weapons to be available to the general public--on a larger scale, the fewer people who possess large scale explosives, the better...but why doesn't that translate when it comes to the idea of regulating speech? Historically speaking...words have effectively caused much more damage then any weapon. Hitler himself didn't come to power through force of arms, but through very powerful words. Yet the Freedom of Speech receives carte blanche in our society--attack it with any kind of limitation and you attack the very fiber of our society somehow.

The right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. While the Freedom of Speech is certainly covered in that sentiment, surely it was never intended to mean "anything goes".

The irony that I say all this on a blog (the current popular medium of the unrestricted Free-speaking society) is not lost on me...but hey--its my right.

Can You Hear Me Now?

So...we got our cell phone bill for the past month. Lots of long (not all pleasent) phone calls this past month. We have rollover, and I've never had to worry about how long we took on our cells because we never used all 500 minutes on the phones--we have them primarily as a fail-safe way of contacting each other, and that's free. Well, all that has changed.

We racked up an extra $120 on our bill this past month for being over not merely our allotted 500 monthly minues...but even our extra 500 rollover minutes. It is...untimely to say the least, and though we'll survive, its not the most encouraging thing in the world. Call the house from now on. :) That's free.

Sheesh. I really hope I get that job teaching. I need to look for something else...I just can hardly bear too admit that I need too.

Staaaar Waaarssss....

Unfortunately, I will not be at the Big Newport this year to watch the conclusion of the second trilogy. The biggest screen this side of the Mississippi is the ideal place to watch the grand opening at Midnight...but having no money, a wife and a 6 month old makes standing in line with a bunch of excited Aliens, Jedi and Sith less then pleasant.

However, I am still really looking forward to this movie. The trailers are fantastic...and the comercials are really funny too. I'm a Star War's fan though--always have been. So I will do my best to see it as soon as possible.

Foundamentalism Conference

So--the exciting news: I am putting together a conference. On Fundamentalism. As of today...I think I actually know what that is going to look like too (which is an enormous relief; try planning a conference when you're not even sure what its going to be on).

I'll be talking about this more as time goes by, things develop, and time permits...but I just wanted to send notice: I am organizing a conference. God willing, its gonna be good too.

Family Shtuff

One of the reasons I gave out this address was to enable me to give updates on a larger, more easily accessible scale. So...here's our update: We're fine. :) Very tired, overworked, underpaid, and I feel as if I will explode if school doesn't end soon--but not too soon, as I still have far too much work to do (and for some reason, having started blogging I can't seem to stop).

Sheri is amazing. She has fought through the problems that come with the complete reordering of life that Aiden brought, and has been taking real steps to avoid the all to easy role of house-wife that does nothing all day. Its really easy to fall into that--especially when her husband is frequently away for hours at school. But she has really made changes and I think that we are going to be moving closer to a thriving life then towards a barely surviving life. I'm very proud of her...and even inspired by her to work harder because she's doing so much that I can't let her down by taking it easy on my end. And, most exciting of all, she wants to go on a date with me! :) I know it sounds wierd...but we don't get to see a ton of each other, and almost never get to go on an official date--partly because we weren't ready to have Aiden babysat for a couple of hours. But two days ago my wife informed me that she was ready to leave him with someone else and wanted a date. That's always nice to hear--so, now I have to figure out an ecconomic option for a meaningful, memorable, fun date. :)

Aiden is...words really cannot describe. He's easily one of the brightest spots in my life at present. No matter what is going on, coming home to him and his enormous grin makes my heart light. He laughs, cackles, and as of last week, squeeks in a very high pitched tone that makes me laugh almost every time I hear him. Last week something changed in him--he went from mostly disinterested in moving on his own and fairly nondescript noises to pulling himself upright, sitting by himself, reaching out and grabbing things that he sees and wants and pulling them back to his mouth (and as long as we're there to make sure its safe that's a good thing!) and rolling over all the time. He's amazing. Also, his communication is becoming quite pointed...perhaps you have to be the parent to appreciate it, but before he made noises with little or no real intent it seemed...this past week, he has begun looking directly at us and is making pointed baby-talk at us, as if trying to tell us whatever he was thinking about. Its classic.

And me...I am doing ok. I work a job in the library at Biola which I am thankful to have--even if it is boring. My boss, Chuck Koontz, is a great guy. And I get to listen to all the music/books on CD that I can find (I've been enjoying C.S. Lewis primarily, from the Screwtape Letters to the Great Divorce, and tomorrow I'll start in on the Four Loves). So that's the good part. I am worried about getting a full time job...I cannot express how badly I want that teaching position at Valley Christian High School in Cerritos--but there's nothing I can do at this point except pray and start looking for other opportunities. The sad thing is...it took me a long time to finally know exactly what it is I want to do right now...and it took about as long to find an opportunity that would allow me to do it...and now I don't know if this seemingly perfect job is available, and all I can do is wait and hope. I take comfort in the thought that God would not have moved this desire in me if it was all for nothing--not that that means I'll get what I presently want...but at least I AM moving in some kind of a direction. I've got a lot of school work between me and grad...I know how to do it all, and none of its really hard--just time consuming and when its not interesting I tend to want to avoid it. But I am telling myself that to enjoy the break I need to work hard to finsih well, and this summer I get to teach at the Academy for three weeks in a row and that is something to look forward to. All in all--things are good, if a little stressful. In all things I am learning to put trust in God first, and wait on His timing while doing my best to live well as I wait for Him to move. Or at least, I'm trying.

And in the meantime...only during periods of time while I am at school...in between work and projects...I am blogging.

24...revisited.

Having railed against it, I feel it only fair for me to praise it when they do it well. Last night's episode was classic. Decisive, action packed, new dilemmas, and Jack being given a free hand to be the all around tough guy that he is. I even enjoyed the reappearance of former President Palmer--when he doesn't have his family in tow, he's actually a pretty cool character.

Of course, the real strength of 24 lies in the nature of its storytelling. They tell a story that, though its no longer impossible to predict, is involving nonetheless (when they don't try and stall for time of course). They make you care about the characters, without making it too much of a soap opera. I haven't ever watched it--except for one 15 minute period when I looked just to see--but another show on Fox that accomplishes the exact opposite is the O.C. Its the 90210 of this generation...and possibly stupider (though admittedly I never watched that show either). Its one ugly, badly written, soap opera for teenagers--and its wildly popular. How does that happen? There are some real bombs on Fox right now (on TV as a whole in fact)..."Life on a Stick" "The O.C." and of course, "The Simple Life" jump to mind. I have to wonder how the people who are the "creative genius'" behind these spectacular debacles retain employment.

Course--its not the first time that companies with money seem to be oblivious to the fact that the product they are selling is terribly bad--sometimes even inspite of their legacy. Take Disneyland for example. I love the Magical Kingdom. As long as I am stuck in SoCal I will take advantage of the fact that I can always have a pass to get away from everything anytime I want with an Annual Pass to the Pirates of the Carribbean. However, this doesn't prevent me from saying that the owners of Disneyland have apparently not visited theme parks recently. Even though there are things that I enjoy about California Adventure, the West coast's answer to the Epcot Center has never lived up to the hype. And its sad--especially since there are shows in both parks that repeatedly state that the reason Walt decided to build the Magical Kingdom was because of the insight he received from visiting parks with his girls. I think its fair to say that Walt never lost the initial wonder and joy that accompanies the imaginary worlds of the Amazon, the Carribbean, Space, the Frontier, etc. But the men and women who came after him sure did. That said...if I had the time, I would be there...not here. :)

Shy Blogging

I was a shy blogger. There's something truly intimidating about putting your words into a medium which can be read by the world at large...there's something even more intimidating about letting people you know read those same words. Being embarressed by a crowd of strangers is nothing compared to the embarressment of looking stupid in front of peers, family and friends. Why is that?

Speaking of friends, family, and peers...do you ever just want to start over, some place new? No matter how painful and difficult it would be to make a new start--sometimes it just seems like that would be easier then having to face the old stereo-type of yourself everyday from the same people you know and love. Even the positive ideas can be a strain--but it can be really hard to grow up in the minds of those who know you best.

That's why its so great to be me. I have always been right...so, not having mistakes to correct, I can focus on the problem of living as a genius, albeit, an often misunderstood genius.

Before rushing off to my Greek history class, which I am already late for...I just wanted to make a note--which I intended to do yesterday...Aiden had his six month birthday yesterday. He's amazing. I want to get some pics up soon--and as soon as I figure out how, I will. :) Anyways...my son, growing up. Wow.

The New Isle

As you'll notice...assuming you've been reading at all...I have a new look for my blog. I like it--the blue was a little too dark to make reading really interesting. So...my new blog: there you have it.

Civil Service hours

So I have to rack up 10 civic service hours for one of my classes this semester. One of the three areas that I need to have hours for is "partisan" hours. In otherwords, I need to spend time at an official Republican or Democrat party function. Well, there's a Deomcrat meeting tonight at the local Sizzlers. I could totally fulfill my requirement by sitting in a steakhouse and listening to them bad-mouth republicans, the President, etc. I'm still deciding if I'll go...I'm really busy right now and that's three hours that I won't be able to be with my family...and three hours of listening to bunk. I listen to the Liberal "Air America" just to make sure I know what the other side is thinking--shouldn't that count?

Speaking of Air America, I was listening the other day and Randi Rhodes was talking. She's easily the stupidest person on their station, but there is some entertainment value. She's so off target, that you can't help but listen to her tripe. For example...last week she was talking with a guest caller (who was also empty-headed) and this caller, who was a democrat, was trying to explain the problems with the party. He was saying that Bill Clinton and the Democrat's continued attachment to Bill Clinton was the reason the Dems were in the position they are in today (no majority in either house, no President, and soon very few Supreme Justices). The intelligent person would, out of necessity admit that there must be SOMETHING wrong with their strategy if they continued to lose EVERY major battle in the world of politics, values, and ideas. But not Miss Rhodes. No--somehow the failure of her party only reflected the underhanded cunning of the Republican right--and the Deomcratic left was trying to win out against those power-hungry conservatives for the sake of the faceless, voiceless, nameless disenfranchized "majority". I have a hard time wanting to correct her--her train of thought is only going to ensure that the Dems continue to lose. Their appointing of Howard Dean makes it painfully clear that they learned nothing from the last election. Instead of trying to appeal to the middle ground by embracing values of any meaningful kind, they have embraced as the symbolic head of their party a man who represents only the extreme left. I find it laughable that Dean has to assure people he won't run again--as if there were enough people who were pressuring him for a repeat of the circus that happened last year. No--the Dems will embrace Hillary, and stake their bid on the hope that the leftists on this nation have enough votes to make them seem right.

The best plan I have heard recently to stop them in this was to make sure that Hillary loses in 2006. If she can't get re-elected to the Senate, that take the wind from her sails right before she needs to gear up for the presidential campaign in 2008. I don't know if its possible, but I'd really enjoy the show it it did happen.

In a statement today, the Vatican took a stand for values in a world that prefers apathy. Evidence of the influence of the new Pope? If so...I'm impressed.

This is an interesting article. When I first read the headline I was concerned and was preparred to write a "well, it looks like the nothing is sacred dogma of the left continues to undermine even supposedly untouchable things like the holocaust" but that's not what this is about. Its a movie that, apparently, uses humor in the way the best humor was always intended to be used. It creates a bridge.

A rough estimate suggests that between now and the 28th of May I have about 73 pages to write in order to graduate.

32 pages are due this Thursday: 20 pages for my research seminar paper on why the French are such bad allies, 12 pages on why the Greeks killed Socrates.

Another 24 pages are due next Monday, which covers the 12 2-paged papers I owe for my Presidency class.

The last 18 pages are spread between meaningless Spanish papers, Newsweek article reviews, and a few chapeter summaries for my Survey of American Gov't class. Needless to say, with 26 days between now and walking to receive my diploma, I've got some work to do--but for better or worse, the majority of that work will be done by next week. Then I can focus of trying to find a job to feed my family...

Speaking of jobs--pray that the man who has been offered the History teaching piosition at Valley Christian High School in Cerritos will do well in the NFL draft...apparently he's a kicker or something like that, and his decision rests on how well he does in the draft...so if he goes on to make millions, I might be able to earn thousands...so pray for good fortune for this unknown football player/history teacher.

Strongbad E-mails...

They make me laugh. I know that they aren't as popular as they used to be when they were "cutting edge" cause now they're trendy or whatever...but I still laugh out loud, and I'm in the library. Today's was particularly good. As an MK who both visited and hosted garage-sale-esque...sales...I can relate.

Seperation of Church and Church

People break down into one of three groups: they prize either peace, love, or truth. I'm a truth person--which means I'll go to war with you over the truth, and I'll tell you the truth, even if it means you'll end our relationship. But that's me--I think that before anything else, there must be truth. All three are vital virtues, all three should exist within us to an equal extent--but being humans, we are almost never able to successfully balance virtues, and so often the best we can do is know which of the virtues we have a tendecy to uphold above all others, and try and avoid abusing it.

So...the church I have attended for over two years now is faced with the question of whether or not to break with its larger body over the issue of homosexual bishops. That's right--I attend an Anglican church--though I'm not an Anglican. The high church doesn't get everything right in my opinion, but their reverance for God's holiness is exactly what I think it should be--and what I don't see often elsewhere. Plus, its cool to say the same words that pillars of our faith have said for centuries.

Our priest, Father David, has said that we will not break--and his reasons were acceptable, though I ultimately disagree. He said that we cannot change the problems within the body if we leave the body. That's true...though ultimately, I still see the issue of truth as non-negotiable--but his reason is fair enough for me to accept. So my problem comes in when I hear people saying that we need to remain together for the sake of being together--that the fire cannot remain hot when the coals are seperated. We were urged to consider that it was not for us to judge the other members of the body, that what we were to do was maintain fellowship. And I have heard elsewhere that the only "-ism" the church has never recovered from is "Schism"...However, this is a step beyond Father David's urging for unity for the sake of having a positive effect on those that have fallen away within the body. This is clearly wrong.

We are the body of Christ. We remain hot not because of the numbers of our church, nor because of the title of our congregation--we have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling within us and THAT is the fire that keeps us hot. If we abandon that for the sake of unity, then we die. If we chose love or peace over God's truth, our love and our peace become stale mockeries of love and peace. Truth is a sword that can destroy people when misused--and no man should presume to understand the full nature of God's truth--but that does not mean we cannot KNOW certain unshakeable, unquestionable, unchangeable truths. And with that knowledge comes responsibility--we cannot turn a blind eye in the name of love or peace when we see truth being twisted and corrupted. There is right and there is wrong, and we have been given the ability to discern that and a charge to live justly and NOT do ill. Submitting to those that cannot understand good from bad, who think that there are no absolutes, no real meaning to "right" and "wrong" only means that we have surrendered our charge to be lights in the world--and THAT means we have become ineffective for the cause of Christ.

I know this sounds rather judgemental, and a little "fire and brimstone"-ish on my part...but I cannot NOT say it. Yesterday I heard a sermon (not Father David) that is making me consider the need to talk to Father David about this issue. As I am not an Anglican, I have been reluctant to get involved--but yesterday's message may have crossed the line. We don't stick together for comfort's sake. The family of Christ welcomes any who will repent and follow Christ--but in order to be a part of that family one MUST repent and follow. To correctly discern that there are people calling themselves Christians who are not and therefore NOT associate with them in the context of fellow believers isn't not loving--it is, in fact, their only chance of hearing what they must hear to be saved--that they cannot be "right" and believe in their lukewarm version of morality.

God help us.