Sheri's Mix

Odd as it might sound, I am 26, have been married over half a decade, have one 4 year old and another on the way. I am young, comparatively speaking, for the stage of life that I am in...most of my friends, if they are married, are still in the glorified dating stage...and many are still working towards the marriage stage.

As a result of being an early arrival at the Matrimonial Gates, I have had the opportunity to hear about the "love languages" many, many times.

Many times.

That's not really a complaint, since the longer you're married the more you need to reflect on how you love your spouse, and work to ensure that you are showing them affection in effective ways. I know that Sheri and I have missed each other from time to time, but I'd like to think that for the most part we connect; our marriage is better now than last year, or the year before, or the year before that.

I give gifts. Sheri wants my time and thoughts.

One of the obvious ways to combine the two was through making her a mix tape.

In the old days (when a mix tape was actually a tape...as opposed to the CD that it is now...) I would make her music using my handed-down boom-box, a gift I received once my parents got a better system for the house. I would cue up my original tapes or CD's, and press record and have to sit and wait an average of 3.5 minutes until the song was over, and then stop the recording, to cue up the next song I had meticulously chosen. Frequently the mixes would serve a duel purpose; it was to send her a message of my affection for her, and to educate her musical experience. The girl hadn't even really listened to the Beatles by the time she was a senior in high school...the situation was dire.

Still, first and foremost, I was trying to send a message. The music expressed in a different way the emotions that i felt, and I wanted to share those with her.

Once she was mine...well, my music library was hers. She listened to whatever I had, and I stopped making mixes for her...there hardly seemed a point.

Except that, she needs to hear and know how I care for her.

I made her the first mix I have made in years today. A disclaimer: if the song seems lyrically inappropriate for a mix for my beloved, I probably chose it for the music, not the lyrics. Here are my selections:

That's How You Know: Amy Adams, Enchanted (Soundtrack from the Motion Picture)
The Way I Am: Ingrid Michaelson, Girls and Boys
Here Comes the Sun: Phil Keaggy & Randy Stonehill, Together Live!
My Brilliant Feat: Colin Hay, Going Somewhere
He Came to Meet Me: Hem, Funnel Cloud
The Fire Thief: Hem, Eveningland
Hooch: Everything, In the Juju Underworld
Love Story: Taylor Swift, Fearless
Overkill: Colin Hay, Man @ Work
Bolero: InsideOut A cappella, Sharing Time
Lost Cause: Beck, Sea Change
Fresh Feeling: Eels, Meet the Eels: Essential Eels 1996 - 2006 Vol. 1
Fighting for My Love: Nil Lara, Nil Lara
Falling Slowly: Frames, The Cost
I Want You To Be My Love: Over the Rhine, Drunkard's Prayer
In the Sun: Joseph Arthur, Come to Where I'm From
Coming Back Soon: Randy Stonehill, Can't But a Miracle
How Bizarre (Mix): OMC, How Bizarre

Happy Anniversary

Today is my parent's 30th Anniversary. Thank you Mom, and thank you Dad. I grew up in a solid home, with parents that loved each other, and us. Where you made mistakes, you also worked hard to be better--for each other, and for us. Mostly, you were great, and spent a lot of time and effort trying to raise us to be healthy, happy, and walking with the Lord.

My parents were the first solid believers in their respective families. They imparted a legacy of faith and trust in God that has impacted every decision in my life. I pray that I can be as good a husband and as good a father as my Dad. My mother imparted a gentle spirit to me and has frequently been my standard and guide when trying to navigate the waters of parenthood.

Thanks Mom & Dad. Happy Anniversary!

'Tis the Season

Our life has been, well, busy of late.

Pictures WILL come...but we're doing the home-making thing. It never ends. Even if I weren't committed to my new home until I am 56, I am secured to the new place by the bonds of paint, sawdust, Spackle, blood, sweat, and tears (those are mostly Sheri's...)

I'm starting school. Sheri's working, and studying for her boards (in 2 weeks! ACK! hence the tears...) Aiden is in preschool and is hopefully happier to there than at home, as home tends to be full of things he cannot do, since we're still trying to get it into at least working order, from the move.

We are working on one car...which meant that I got to walk Aiden to school today, and then bike myself to school, with roughly 5 minutes before class started to catch my breath.

I'm tired, mostly.

Many evenings of late, once Aiden is asleep, Sheri and I have had the energy to essentially watch some TV to unwind and then go to bed. We're wiped. And every time we tell anyone about where we're at, the general response is a look of pity, a sigh/pat on the shoulder, and these words; "Its just a season."

This is kindly meant, and I have appreciated the perspective. But the thing I realized this morning, as I returned from taking Aiden to school, and put my bag together and then darted out myself, was that I don't want this season to last. That may sound obvious, but something my Dad said to me the other day when I said those words myself made me think; he encouraged me to avoid allowing the excuses of this difficult season to become habits that become a part of our normal life.

This is really important, since life is never, really, all that normal. You pick up habits along the way, and if you're not careful before you know it you are the person you are going to be. If you are going to have a say in what sticks, you have to fight, even in the midst of "a season" to keep certain things merely seasonal, and to never entirely lose those practices you want to be characterize your "real" life.

I did not marry Sheri to spend my evenings with her watching TV. We did not have Aiden to ignore him or keep him entertained but not interact with him. I am not teaching so I don't have to think about good books and difficult thoughts. We are not working on a house to avoid having a home.

I did not receive salvation from Christ only to call out to Him in my moments of need, but ignore him when I am feeling just fine.

It is easy to make excuses, but being a whole person is not a quick or easy task; it requires vigilance and honest to goodness work. It requires that I give the little energy I have, during the little free-time I have, to love my son and teach him about life, rather than play a game, reading a fluff book or even sleeping. It demands that I use the time I have when Aiden is healthily occupied to work on lesson plans or make the home a better place for my wife and son. First and foremost, it requires that I spend more time meditating in quiet relfection on the great goodness of God, rather than filling my mind with every other argument I can find about politics, or pop-culture, or whatever else that so easily distracts. Of necessity, my actions will be influenced by what I spend my time thinking about...ultimately Christian service can only flow from someone that is honestly seeking to please the Lord in all things. How else can I expect, at the end of the day, to know my Savior better? To serve Him as I want to want to serve Him? Or for my son to know me? Or to have a wife...30 years from now, when we aren't fighting to make the house/job/transportation/income/boards/etc juggling act work?

The season cannot be the reason that we live as we live. If we are to have anything in the end, we must counter-act the natural tendency to excuse ourselves because of circumstances. Ultimately, I want more than just whatever I would settle for because I am tired.

No robe for you!

I used to have a robe. It was heavy terry-clothe. Navy Blue. Warm. Even though holes tore open under the arms, it was still my robe. Comfy. Large. I liked my robe. I wore it frequently.

Then we reorganized our apartment. Threw out a ton of stuff that we no longer used or needed. Moved furniture, painted, cleaned, etc.

My wife decided that my robe was no longer worth keeping. I found it in the pile of stuff going away. I asked her why, and she said that with the holes, it was no longer worthy of remaining my robe. She promised to replace it. I tried to challenge her logic, suggesting that since I did actually use my robe, we should keep it until we replaced it. She, of course, prevailed.

Of course...we're broke...and robes cost money. And you know the old saying--a robe on the hook is worth two in the store.

Now I own no robe. I miss my robe. Sigh.

"My time flies...

...but we'll fly farther"

We woke up early, and went with some friends and my grandparents to the church, where we had communion. We went to breakfast afterwards...and then went our separate ways. We got dressed, met back up & took some pictures, re-entered the church and said some things. We left the church and had a party under the stars, with Chinese lanterns shining golden in the now dark night sky. We left the party, drove to a hotel and fell asleep very different from the way we'd woken up.

Four years ago today, we were married.

It was a great day.