Does this sound familiar: you find a story which captures your mind and makes your heart beat a little faster with every word you read, every moment you watch...whenever you hear the music (whether provided for you, or of your own selection) it makes your skin tingle with a special anticipation...a flutter in your gut, your breath catches...somehow, inexplicably, this myth, which is not in any way linked to your real life...this story...rings true.You devour every moment you can; if it's a book, the words seem to fly off the page as your eyes swallow entire paragraphs at a glance...if it's a movie or a TV show, you rigorously guard the appointed hour and follow dutifully all the little extras they release in the meantime, and avoid the spoilers who would rob you of experiencing the moment in the moment.
The story captivates your idle thoughts, influences your manner of speech, perhaps even the way you dress. (Alright...this probably only happens if it's a really good story. And probably only if you are a nerd such as I...) Every moment you can savor this story for the first time is a special bliss...others might give you a knowing look, as fellow partakers...but the experience is also deeply personal; it's what helps make you *you* and it is something you will carry with you always. Ask any true fan about the first time they read Lord of the Rings.
Of course...then there's the tragic, inevitable moment when you know that the end draws nigh. There's no avoiding this problem (though I have tried...to avoid finishing The Man Who was Thursday I put the book down for 4 months...when I picked it back up, I had a hard time remembering everything...and it still ended); if you try to hold onto the moment and slow down on the march to the end, you twist the story and do it a disservice. No, you must come to the end. It is the natural way; all stories end...and when our favorites do...we experience a loss which is difficult to define.
Nobody has died. In many cases, our heroes have experienced the end we hoped for...resolution is the point of these conflicts, and it is a relief to finally find that safety and consolation we hoped for; occasionally, stories let us down, but even if they ended badly, the conclusion is vital to the finished product.
And yet...despite worlds moving, hearts breaking, hope beyond hope yielding results greater than even we dared to dream of and everything being different because of it...weirdly nothing has changed.
Sigh.
So, what now? How do we fill the space? What do we do, when the story ends and we are brought heartbreakingly back to a real world that doesn't understand how precious and beautiful and wonderful life was for a few moments (prior to the last few words on the last page, or the closing scene, fade to black...)...more importantly, WHY must we endure this loss?
Two thoughts: first, we live as our heroes would live if this world were theirs. That's not to say, become a Ranger and abandon life in the city, or go in search of a school to teach you to use your magical powers...(problematic, since we're Muggles, but I digress). The "what" your hero does is not what you're supposed to do; it's the "how". That sounds depressing...but I venture to guess that in most stories, the heroes don't spend the entire time reflecting on how awesome they are. Rather, they exhibit virtues which are sorely needed in our own world...and we need heroes to step up and shoulder the responsibility of saving us.
Second, the reason we fill this emptiness is fairly straight-forward: it is because we are empty. We are looking for our story, we are waiting to embark and are anticipating the chance to be something we feel certain we were meant to be...but have not yet realized. Good stories let us touch that, for a moment...offer us the chance to glimpse, as through a mirror dimly, the adventures we have yet to encounter. The high country, for which our souls are still being conditioned...the hopes we have not yet learned to even dream.
Yet it is not for naught...at the end of all the stories, when the themes of redemption and salvation and heroism and love and perseverance and courage and justice have all been told, and filled our souls with so much light we can barely contain them all...at the end of our story, when life has closed (sometimes sooner than expected...perhaps after more time than we could have believed possible), we will open our eyes into a reality so crisp and unmistakeable, that all the stories we have ever known will resonate at once and we will have found our eternally new, fully resolved story.
Until that day, I continue to read, watch, and dream.
