El Morro Pt2

El Morro Canyon Pt1

March is a bad month

Or at least, so suggests my Calendar...

I have the Alan Lee Children of Hurin calendar at my cubicle.

This is the image for March...I am glad March is ending...I bet Caesar would have agreed with me...

The Sound of Silence

This has been one of the theme songs for our life over the past few years.

Maybe its because I have now lived in California longer than I have ever lived in one place.

Maybe its because I have been waiting for 3 years to be able to start thinking about my next step, and this is the summer when that happens.

Maybe its because I am planning trips for the future, and wish the future was now.

Maybe its because I suddenly found 60+ friends from the past decade or so on Facebook...my friend total is currently up to 318...these friends range from old neighbors and acquaintances, to childhood best friends, to friends I made in a summer in high school, to college roommates, to mentors and coaches, teammates, work associates, and even a few old "enemies." They have pictures, and lives I know nothing about...but they stir up nostalgia like something crazy within me. This new surge of connections has excited me so much that I am fairly certain that most the people I have had contact with recently believe I must be a facebook addict...I'm really not...I just get really excited about finding old friends!

Maybe its because I had been hoping to be doing one of the things I love next year...and now it looks very like I will have to keep on keeping on where I am at, for at least another year and a half. Thank you California, for spending so much that you are actually laying off teachers, even while complaining of having a teaching shortage!

Maybe I have Restless Leg Syndrome...

Maybe I am just a restless person that needs to learn what peace is.

The bottom line is, I am restless.

I suspect the answer is not to ruminate on the possibilities I am not/cannot partake in at present. Actually, the best solution I have found revolves around less real action. Taking more time to read, more time to find catharsis through writing...more silence.

This is one of the few things that music does NOT help, which is difficult because I really like music...listening to music gets me through my day of data-entry. Still, there is no denying that music is extremely emotional, and each song only conjures more memories, more dreams, more restlessness.

So, I need silence. Now the question is...can I allow myself to have silence?

Lotsa Pictures

If it keeps you running

Five years ago, shortly after we were married, I received a medical discharge from my contract with the Army's ROTC program. I had run for about a year on shin splints, not knowing what they were or how to treat them (having never had so much as a sprained ankle until then). By the time I was discharged, I had almost no hair on my legs below the knees, and I regularly lost all feeling in both of my large toes.

I stopped running for about 2 years...which did not help me in fighting the traditional marital weight gain.

And I have been trying to get to a healthy weight to start running for three years, off and on. Sometimes it hasn't been practical, sometimes I have done really well. About two years ago, I managed to lose about 17 lbs, and was getting close to being able to run almost three miles. Then stuff happened, and life changed, and that stopped.

Now we're headed back towards doing stuff outside, and I am determined to get back in shape. I was avoiding the inevitable for a week, hoping to reach a personal goal before getting to buy new shoes; I have been running on the same shoes that gave me shin splints five years ago. I was hoping to reach my goal early this week, and buy new shoes right after...but in the meantime, I ran (mostly) three miles with some friends on Sunday night.

Monday morning...the old familiar pain was there, shooting up and down my shins while I walked around my office.

Sigh. Sometimes being a physical being isn't all its cracked up to be.

I have bought new shoes (a gross luxury...but a reality if I ever want to run again) at the insistance of my wife, who is entirely too good to me.

I am also icing my legs nightly.

And I am hoping to make a much slower, but no less determined return to running this weekend. I have a goal, which I might share a little later, if it looks like it is a real possibility.

But the last few days have been...ouchie...

The High Country

This is a momentous Spring.

This is the Spring my wife graduates from Biola, with her BSN.

This is the Spring our life changes…again.

And I have resolved that this is the Spring we begin to live as people not perpetually striving to gain degrees. Oh, I do still hope to proceed (soon) towards getting the next level of my education…but it is well past time to do something other than exist while we try to survive the trench warfare that is the Undergraduate years, while being married and parents.

This Spring, we will begin hiking to the high places of SoCal. Old Baldy. San Gorgonio. 7 Falls. Half Dome. Eventually, I hope to include Mt Whitney & the Grand Canyon in our list…but we may have missed the window this year, as there are not enough passes for all the people that want to make the trek.

April 5th is the first step. As part of a training course, we’re doing El Moro Canyon; just short of 7 miles, no real altitude, but a good stretch of the legs. We have about 10 people that have decided to take on this endeavor together, and I am putting the calendar together. It’s very exciting!

My first inclination is to go buy new equipment…having no money makes fighting this impulse easier…

Clinging to what we know to be true

Gal. 1:6-9: I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you, and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even though we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to that which we have preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so I say again now, if any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to that which you received, let him be accursed.

We started a family study of Galatians this morning. It was refreshing, and I appreciated my wife's encouragement to do it together. We read the whole first chapter and I couldn't help but wonder at this exhortation from Paul to the church, especially given what others have said regarding the nature of schism in the church. It caused me to reflect throughout the day on the state of our church, divided and at odds over certain beliefs, and at times ignoring cancerous growths in the very heart of the church itself.

God's truth is worth fighting for. May we never be so foolish as to believe the message of the Gospel requires us; but that should likewise not lull us into the stupor of a mundane faith.

Politics 101; or How to Choose Who to Vote For

After multiple discussions with a variety of friends, with numerous and sundry opinions on politics, I believe firmly that there are two lessons aspiring voters need to learn in order to utilize their civic responsibilities.

1. Vote for substance, not cosmetics.

This is addressed by every pundit, but that doesn't make it less important. Don't select your candidate based on how they look or even just on how they speak. Looks and speech are important...but looking good and sounding good are not the same as being good. In a race with a vibrant Black candidate, a woman candidate, a 79 year old war hero and a good looking CEO, this message is particularly important. How they look doesn't matter if their stance on policy is no good! Even their personal religious beliefs* shouldn't be enough to sway your vote--Mormon, Christian, Unbeliever--we're not voting on Pastors, we're voting on Presidents**.

*I might make the exception with a Muslim running for President...but that would depend on the history of the Candidate.

**If all things are equal, I'd vote for a Christian. It matters...but policy stance is the first thing we're supposed to evaluate.

2. Politics involve Compromise.

E Pluribus Unum. We go no where, we accomplish nothing, we lose everything, if we cannot work together. With a couple hundred million people in this nation, the likelihood of our finding the one leader that meets everyone's hopes is slim, to say the least. If we begin to demand absolute agreement before we will participate, none of our ideas get represented.

Pundits that engage in these primaries and denounce their opponents and vow to abstain rather than vote for their rivals if they carry the day do not encourage growth in their respective parties--they ensure the failure of their party and their argument. Sowing division reaps more division.

At the end of the day, we need to be able to come together and argue in favor of the big picture. As a Republican, there are some huge issues on the table. McCain or Huckabee are not my preference, but they are still wildly better to my political taste than the alternative Democrat President. I just hope we can figure out how to mend the fences after the fireworks of a good primary season.

Lincoln Speaks

I had the pleasure of visiting Washington DC this Christmas. During my time there, Sheri and I got to spend a day together (alone!) walking the Mall and seeing the sights.

We got cards to the Library of Congress.

I finally got to see the World War II monument (which is beautiful and provocative).

And we got to make the trek from the steps of the Capital to the seat of Lincoln in what might qualify as a national temple.

Many things have been said about Lincoln--some people argue that he manipulated the nation with his gift of rhetoric. Some have lauded him as one of the two most important men in our nation's history. It is easy, in hindsight, to attribute motives and speculate on the purposes of great men after they can no longer argue their points. But Lincoln left us his words to defend his actions, and they challenge us even today.

Walking through the WWII and Vietnam memorials to reach Lincoln, his reflections on the conflict he was leading the nation through were all the more poignant. Living in a time when we are facing a new age, a new chapter to our history being written as we live each day, I think we must remember what ideas have led us through the dark days that have gone before.

During this election season, its become clear that a change is occurring in our nation--it has been called for and it will come, in one form or another. This change has come as a result of the new conflict that we have been immersed in. This should not depress us--conflict is not necessarily bad! Conflict helps us define ourselves; without conflict, growth does not occur. That doesn't mean that all change is good, or that we should seek strife. In every day, there are troubles enough, without looking for more. But when faced with a challenge, we should not shirk the responsibility that confronts us. In taking up the struggle, and changing as time and circumstance dictate, we grow--hopefully--into better versions of ourselves. This can only happen with hope and vision. We cannot answer today's questions by pretending they come from yesterday's test. Neither can we survive if we abandon the heritage that made us what we are today.

So, how do we strike a balance? How do we have hope in the new whilst defending the good of the old? Lincoln challenged us to remember who is sovereign in the lives of men. Lincoln recognized that there is a cost to be paid for the wrongs we have done--and that being a nation of justice and liberty came at a price. Lincoln told us that we must accept the sacrifice demanded of us, if we were to survive--and more importantly, if we would not abandon the work altogether. This meant that the nation of 1865 would not be the nation of 1860. This meant a cost in blood money, time, and energy. But it also meant a new morning in our nation, and ultimately the world.

As we choose our leaders this year, may we reflect on the wisdom of one of the prolific leaders of our nation; he led in the midst of a revolution. He saw a peace leaders had fought to preserve for four score and seven years explode. He shouldered a terrifying burden and trusted in the principles and beliefs that birthed the nation. And he speaks to us today.

At this second appearing to take the oath of the presidential office, there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then a statement, somewhat in detail, of a course to be pursued, seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of the great contest which still absorbs the attention, and engrosses the energies of the nation, little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself; and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured.

On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago, all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil war. All dreaded it--all sought to avert it. While the inaugeral [sic] address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, insurgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war--seeking to dissole [sic] the Union, and divide effects, by negotiation. Both parties deprecated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive; and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.

One eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the Southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was, somehow, the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union, even by war; while the government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war, the magnitude, or the duration, which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with, or even before, the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God's assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces; but let us judge not that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has his own purposes. "Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!" If we shall suppose that American Slavery is one of those offences which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South, this terrible war, as the woe due to those by whom the offence came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a Living God always ascribe to Him? Fondly do we hope--fervently do we pray--that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue, until all the wealth piled by the bond-man's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash, shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord, are true and righteous altogether"

With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan--to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln, 1864

Creating Check Lists

I have the task of creating Check Lists for a few processes at my work.

I cannot complain--I even suggested making a few of them. But creating a check list is different from wanting a check list. The processes I am documenting are now a seamless (well, mostly seamless) work flow for me now. I now do, rather than think about each step...most of the time...

Which means that enumerating the steps is...tricky. I might do it one way one time, and a different way the next...and who's to say which order is better, so long as the results are the same?

I have decided to practice on other ordinary tasks...

Check List for starting the work day:

1. Get out of the car, lock the doors and put your key away.

2. Remember you left your lunch and return to the car after getting halfway to the building.

3. Repeat step 1.

4. Walk to the door on the West side of the building.

5. Use card to access the building.

6. Reflect on the fun of having your ID badge on an retract-able string...rather like a garrote...contemplate the meaning of this connection to the mafia in your work place...

7. Proceed down the hall to the third door on the right.

8. Use card to open door, and enter.

9. Go to desk and drop off bags.

10. Wake your computer up by moving the mouse.

11. Clock in at co-worker's computer.

12. Make your way to the galley, and proceed to try to find room in the common fridge for your lunch. Discover its impossible...start eating lunch...

13. Realize you left your badge at your desk...and are now locked out...start trying to attract the attention of coworkers without acting like a criminal trying to force his way into the more sensitive areas of the Credit Union...

14. Succeed in getting a co-worker's attention...get razzed for being locked out again...return to desk and thank the Lord its Friday...

Ah, work.

The Beautiful Ordinary

One of the nice things about getting up early to go work is that you get to kiss your wife goodbye while she's still asleep.

Sleeping may not make you the most attractive person to the rest of the world...but there's something wonderful about being the one that gets to kiss her goodbye while she's still dreaming.

Its enough to make me smile even after being at work for 4 hours.

Why, why, why?

For the second time in almost as many days, Huckabee launches himself into a mess.

Do you really want to be the Southern, Evangelical Christian Republican candidate who wraps himself in the Confederate flag?

On the heels of saying (and I know this is one specific way of hearing his remarks, but I am tired of having to parse the words of the communicator, so I don't care!) that he wants to see the Constitution support God's laws, the image on every news station is Huckabee and waving CSA flags.

I know its manipulation. I know that Huckabee's position is not as asinine as it appears on the cameras. But come on! Don't feed the beasts. Certain images cannot be embraced by would-be leaders of the free-world--even if you just support the right of people to preserve those images. Its not a fun reality...but its reality. You have to play the game. Huck is not playing a national game, and its yet another reason I don't think he makes the right candidate.

Sigh.

Since I'm paying my Civic Duty...

Although I was always going to vote, it seems particularly appropriate to discuss voting while serving Jury Duty.

Actually, on a side note, for any of you that avoid voting to avoid Jury Duty...its a myth. The Jury pool is drawn from two sources--the voting lists and the DMV divers license lists. If you drive, your hat is still in the ring for service. Might as well vote, if that was what was keeping you...

Now to that topic with no end of discussion on the web, the primaries.

I will not try to offer my in depth opinions on all things political...as you really can get better opinions from a lot of other places. But I have been wanting to weigh in on different things...its been frustrating having thoughts about what's going on (and even being right on occasion, contrary to polling and political aficionados) and being unable to blog...so I will seize the opportunity.

First, the Republicans;

Thompson: Several months ago I realized that Thompson had failed to do what a late comer needed to do in order to be a serious contender. He joined under the suggestion that he was the best hope for Conservatives and his rally cry was that the true base of the party could finally find their man in him. I was hopeful, and talked with friends about his chances. I held out through the early stages of his late campaign, hoping that the fire-in-the-belly he promised would finally ignite...and it never did. This is old news, but that was where I was in, goodness, about October. I think I officially started looking for a better alternate late October, early November...and discovered my new guy...

Romney: The thing that sealed it for me was his speech on religion and politics. Any man that can be that eloquent about something so important, who can craft a vision of what the nation should be with his words (I am starved for a real communicator in the office), and whose position on something so important as the inseparably linked but still distinct realms of personal beliefs and public politics could hardly be ignored. The more I watched, read, and heard, the more I liked him. I am now convinced he is the eventual candidate for the Republicans...and I hope we can come together as a party once the necessary and healthy process of primaries runs its course. We won't be settling for the best worst candidate...he'll be a good President, if he lives up to his promise.

As to the others...

McCain: I don't trust him, and I don't think that will ever change. Being a war hero does not a good president make.

Huckabee: a good man, I don't like his politics. That oh so important line I mentioned above, which Romney clearly understands, seems blurred if not invisible to Huck. I think he'd be bad for Republicans and bad for America.

Rudy: good public servant...I'd prefer him to McCain, but I echo others in wishing he'd be our nation's top lawyer, not President.

I am hoping we have to go to the Convention...I love the fact that this race is making professional political prognosticators look as uninformed as the rest of us...its a real race and things really change from day to day. If it were another nation, I'd be worried about revolution or martial law...but its America, and so its just really exciting to see the system work.

As for the Dem's...

Edwards deserves the least, so let me say I think he's a ridiculous candidate. He's a sleazeball lawyer and holds policy stances which should embarrass him. He obviously doesn't agree, and thinks he offers change. But honestly, as a Democrat running against a Clinton woman, and a Black man, did anyone ever really think he had a chance?

Clinton: she's a real politician. My favorite week for the Dem's has been the whole New Hampshire mess. In the fallout from Iowa, Clinton was being blasted for not being likable, for being to much like a serious politician. In response to this, the media was soon filled with images of her crying...and it was brilliant. Normally the discussion that we'd be having if a woman was running would center on fears that she would be too emotional, too weak to lead. Hillary is not the normal woman though. She has like-ability liabilities...which we'll talk about instead of real issues. How does she navigate this gender stereo-type minefield? She cries publicly. Whether it was real or not doesn't matter...it was masterful. She gets to appear emotional, but doesn't have to worry about being labeled with the image of feminine frailty, because at this point most people have thought of her as too cold to care. Meanwhile...how many people can watch a woman cry and feel no pity? She also gets to ride the wave of expectation...building on the media frenzy over Obama, she was able to appeal to the voters from a position of needing help. Again, a softer appeal from the strongest Dem candidate. I think she's very much in control of the situation, and if Obama is going to compete he'll need to start offering substance to his followers. Which brings us to...

Obama: the most electric candidate of the race. He's got the press drooling over the very idea of him winning the nomination. He uses positive language. He has no record haunting him...but he also has no record. He has very little to offer people that actually digest the messages the talking heads spew. He could force the Dem's to a convention too...which I think would make this the best political year of the last...30? 40? He is a sexy candidate. He is also a scary potential President. I'd prefer Hillary to Obama, as she's essentially Rudy, only a little more to the Left, and wouldn't cause the damage that electing Rudy as a Republican would to the Conservative cause.

I don't know exactly what Obama would do...since he hasn't offered any insight, but I have serious doubts that he would be committed to our interests in the Middle East...and like it or not, we have interests in the Middle East. Its the most volatile part of the globe...Pakistan's most recent upheaval obviously not helping matters. Our next President cannot cave into the demands of extremists and abandon our position in the Middle East. Our efforts in Iraq must succeed, we must have a foothold in the area, just as in the late 1930's it was vital to maintain a hold in Southeast Asia in the Philippines. Something the last few years should have made clear to us...conventional ground troop warfare hasn't gone out of style. Boots on the ground matter, and the best way to put boots on the ground is to have a base from which to support them. I firmly believe that this is an issue that must be addressed is this next election--but to do it, whoever the next President is must offer a vision of why it is we fight--otherwise s/he will be selling a false hope of an easy fix.

$50 on the Packers for Superbowl Champs

First, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon. I don't bleed green and gold...I am not a cheese head...and the Packers were my second choice (barely) for taking everything.

But I hold familial ties to at least two parts of our nation, and I have adopted their respective teams as my own, handed down from my Dad. I am a Redskins fan, and a Packers fan, and after that, as my Dad always says, I am a fan of anyone playing against Dallas. I hate Dallas.

The honest truth is that as a Skins fan, I have had very little to yell about since 1991. The mid-late 90's were good to fans of the Pack, and I am overjoyed that my favorite player in the NFL has weathered the years to return to the NFC championship game, and stands a real shot of playing in the Superbowl in the twilight of his fantastic career.

In fact, Farve is the reason I am seriously considering placing a bet on the Packers, once they overcome the Giants. I believe, in the wake of a fantastic game against the Seahawks, the Packers have the momentum to smother their NFC competition, and that they have the heart that will be the only thing that could possibly play spoiler to the perfect Patriots.

The match-up reminds me a lot of the second time Farve led the Packers to the Superbowl in 1998. They were the better team, and everyone expected them to destroy the Bronco's...but strange things can happen when the game is that important and you have as prolific a quarterback on the field as Elway. The Bronco's played their best game all season, the Pack their worst, and Elway got his ring.

I don't know if there is a wrench made that could prevent the machine-like Patriots from sweeping everyone and every record with their march to the Superbowl...but my guess is that if there's a chance, it resides in the heart and arm of Brett Farve. He moves his team, and better teams have failed when confronted with a team that rallies to a leader with heart and a genuine obvious love of the game.

Obviously I'm just a pleased spectator. If the Pack don't make it past the Giants, I'll cheer for the Pats to break all records ever...but I would love to see a truly great athlete get the laurels one last time.

Unforseen Gifts

As is readily apparent if you have bothered to visit my miserably starved blog over the past...year?, you are aware of the lack of posting that has been going on here. I believe the tally of posts for all of 2007 was something like 37. 37! The blogosphere would laugh at me...if they knew or cared that my pathetic blog existed, which they might if I ever posted.

Still, I haven't had many choices. I have two jobs, a very busy wife just five months away from finally achieving her nursing degree and a three year old son. More than that...I still have dial-up Internet access. Yes, I know...the United States doesn't condone torture...but we are allowed to do what we like in the privacy of our own homes. Dial-up...and sadistic dial-up at that. Its a miracle I check e-mail at all...most of the time it will connect long enough for me to launch the program of choice and then disconnect once more. Somewhere there's an administrator laughing at my attempts to connect with the Web...but, its free. So, what can you do?

I have probably mentioned all of these things in a sad attempt to excuse my lack of posts, correspondence, etc with the Internet. But today is different.

You see, today...today, I am serving Jury Duty.

I know you're wondering, "How are you on the computer while serving Jury Duty?" Well, the reason is simple and wonderful...I am stuck in a room with nothing to do all day until they figure out if I am going to have to serve or not. And it just so happens, they have computers with Internet access for the duration of our wait. So, I have spent the $12 for full day access and now, though I wouldn't have imagined it, I actually get to blog without a concern in the world...until they call me to serve. Who'd have thunk it?

Drastic Action

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and at this time it is only through desperate endeavors that I am able to get the time/energy/web-access necessary to post...as my dusty, dank little blog can attest.

I am not satisfied with this complete lack of activity, and so I am trying to solve the problem...unfortunately without some sort of change in my computer situation, I am not sure how to change the situation...but I am brainstorming...

We have an announcement...

Well, now that Aiden is about to turn three, and Sheri's nearing the end of school, we've decided that we are able to allow our family to grow. We have been coming to this decision for the past three months or so...and today seems to have been the big day.

Friends, I'd like to announce that we're going to be having two additions to our family. Pictures to come soon, Reepicheep and Peepiceek are the newest inhabitants of the house. We were initially planning on getting a hampster, then talked about a Guinea Pig, but it finally became clear that rats were the way to go. Not ugly, vicious sewer rats...these are cute, curious, albeit somewhat poopy rats. Seriously, a ton of fun. Sheri and I are acting like new parents again...checking in on them every few minutes. And hopefully, Aiden will get the opportunity to learn how to care for animals.

Fun times with Reep & Peep.
*****************************
Another update..."Peep" is no longer Peep. After some study, we discovered that Rats can actually learn to respond to names. Reep and Peep sound alike. Not good. So now, its Reepicheep and Basil...as in Basil of Bakerstreet. And yes, Lindsay...Ratatouille IS too French...even though I loved the movie. :)

Update in Brief...

I am working at ECCU. I am working at Starbucks. Sheri's in school. We're busy. We're poor. We're happy. Aiden turns three in 10 days. He's amazing. I have decided what I want to focus on in my MA...if you want to know, e-mail me. Now I get to start studying for the GRE's and applying to schools. Life is good. God is God. I just wish I could blog once and a while...

Dear Blog

I miss you. I miss being able to think and write. Currently, I am working...but you're not forgotten. I'll get back...get back...get back to where you once belonged...