On the other sides of a thousand pages of reading and 200 pages of grading, after the wife earns her well deserved degree and the son gets through the perils and travails of being two, and this kid finds another job or two tow make ends meet for another summer and two semesters...
I have a blog.
It seems odd to say that this is a priority of sorts...but it is. Not for my readership...which, if they are faithful are faithful thanks to posting notification technology...but in a way because I have very few other options for composing & articulating thoughts. The chance to do so is, as a result, coveted.
The irony is that when I finally get to sit down and type, the discussions I have been conducting in my head until now seem either out-of-date, or awkwardly large for a simple blog.
Oh well.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
The Daily Grind
Its been...just over a month since I last shook the dust from my key-board (metaphorically speaking...I normally end up blogging on computer's other than my own, and they are rarely dusty). Fear not, dauntless and desperate readers; I live still. Though I may not have written very much recently, I have, rest assured, been thinking about several weighty matters about which any number of blog posts could have been written.
And yet...I cannot think of any of them presently.
This is the problem. I have had...constipation of the mind of late. I think it stems from stress...but I have been slipping into a depressed state of silence that threatens to dry out my ability to discuss...anything. Its a dryness that recalls the sort of low that we would normally associate with the poetic "Dark Night." Its hardly so dramatic...I am just feeling discouraged. I went to Disneyland the other day...and felt simultaneously hopeful that the various rides and lands might suddenly actually become real, and deeply sad that they didn't. It was the most pleasant and depressing time I have had at the Magical Kingdom in a long time. Perhaps it was because it was just me and the wife...
But this is symptomatic of a larger problem. I have the bug of discontentment once again. Its a frustrating vice to deal with...there are always good reasons for being dissatisfied with yourself, your situation, etc...but there are very few justification for dwelling on those short-comings...and rarely does any progress occur as a result. There's a fine line between allowing your dreams of tomorrow to inspire you to action and residing in those dreams rather than facing the real live day.
So, I am trying to find purpose in the daily grind. I am trying to remember the meaning of peace and joy in everyday life. Jesus' life and ministry seem amazing and exotic when we read about them...but he was ministering to his home. He showed His own family and His own people what the kingdom of God means...and the incredible nature of His life was encapsulated in the confines of daily routine. Being honest, I don't understand how one can find satisfaction in that...while dreaming of everything that's not like our home, our life, our daily grind...but I suspect that the key to happiness and a healthy relationship with God lies in part in that secret satisfaction.
And yet...I cannot think of any of them presently.
This is the problem. I have had...constipation of the mind of late. I think it stems from stress...but I have been slipping into a depressed state of silence that threatens to dry out my ability to discuss...anything. Its a dryness that recalls the sort of low that we would normally associate with the poetic "Dark Night." Its hardly so dramatic...I am just feeling discouraged. I went to Disneyland the other day...and felt simultaneously hopeful that the various rides and lands might suddenly actually become real, and deeply sad that they didn't. It was the most pleasant and depressing time I have had at the Magical Kingdom in a long time. Perhaps it was because it was just me and the wife...
But this is symptomatic of a larger problem. I have the bug of discontentment once again. Its a frustrating vice to deal with...there are always good reasons for being dissatisfied with yourself, your situation, etc...but there are very few justification for dwelling on those short-comings...and rarely does any progress occur as a result. There's a fine line between allowing your dreams of tomorrow to inspire you to action and residing in those dreams rather than facing the real live day.
So, I am trying to find purpose in the daily grind. I am trying to remember the meaning of peace and joy in everyday life. Jesus' life and ministry seem amazing and exotic when we read about them...but he was ministering to his home. He showed His own family and His own people what the kingdom of God means...and the incredible nature of His life was encapsulated in the confines of daily routine. Being honest, I don't understand how one can find satisfaction in that...while dreaming of everything that's not like our home, our life, our daily grind...but I suspect that the key to happiness and a healthy relationship with God lies in part in that secret satisfaction.
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