It would happen on a Friday.
Out on the dodgeball field, revealing my mad dodgeballing skills...I went to reach for a ball...bent down...and suddenly felt a breath of fresh air...in the seat of my pants.
I split my pants.
I SPLIT MY STUPID, STINKING, *@&&!#@#@ PANTS.
Fortunately, not badly. Right up the seam...and not too noticably. I was due to teach a class in two minutes...so I managed to back off the field without attracting any attention, and call over another teacher to get some help.
The resolution to this problem wasn't all that exciting. What I don't understand, what puzzles me beyond reason, is why this pair of pants has always been so ridiculously tight. Not because I am in denial about a flux in my own weight...I know I have fluxed. No, the problem is that this pair of pants was exactly the same as three other pairs of pants that I own, excepting the color. The same brand, the same cut, the same size...and all a different fit.
Why, oh world of affordable fashion, why are your pants vairable sizes when they claim to be uniform?!?!?!? WHY?!?!?!?
I have resolved to procure some pants of real quality in the near future...I like to set attainable goals. This week...get new pants.
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2 comments:
You should ask Nate about splitting his pants at a school event. :)
You should buy pants at J. Crew (or Gap). They last FOREVER and, cost the same as the "cheap" pants if you get them on sale or at the outlet :)
That must have been super embarrassing though :)
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