Church Question

We are in the middle of a transition. I recently (read, within the past 5 months) realized that indeed, I did long to do things with ministry in my life. Missionary work, or pastoral, I am not yet entirely sure, but I know that I don't want to go to church merely to be fed. Well, that means I need to be able to serve in the church that we would be working with, right? Hence the problem.

We have attended since before our wedding the Anglican church of the Blessed Sacrament in Placentia, and now we are leaving. I love the liturgy. I love the creeds. I love the reverance. I just don't believe in the Sacraments the way that they do. My son will NOT be baptized before he knows what it means. I believe pretty much the opposite of the Anglicans when it comes to those two issues...I see communion as merely a symbol (an important one, but a symbol nonetheless) and baptism as something that actually signifies something which the baptized must understand and "mean" in order for it to actually be a baptism.

However, I am having a hard time with being content in the regular evangelical churches we have attended during this time of transition--because I miss the worship of the communial reading of the creeds, the congregation reading the Psalms together, the beautiful hymns...honestly I often feel as if I were a member of the audience not a participating member of the worshipping congregation when we are at the evangelical churches.

I was talking with a friend who attends a Lutheran church (i.e. high church too), and he asked me if perhaps there was a reason that evangelical churches lack the beauty of the liturgy? I admitted that very likely there was a connection between the beauty that comes from the liturgy and the presence of the belief that high churches hold with regard to the sacraments. So here's the question...is that actually so? Is there no hope of finding the beauty without the sacraments? Must I accept the idea of real presence to find the beauty of worshipping as the Anglican's do throughout the rest of their service?

This is a hard time.