Why Not Me? Why Not Now?

These are the standard questions one asks oneself when setting out to make a fortune. After all, we are told, the money's out there...why shouldn't you get some of it? Why wait? Get out there and make your money work for you! Seize the day! Actualize your potential! Be your own boss!

Yes well, I have heard this all and I am sure you have too. I have even tried various options to make this our reality. In the process of trying to become independently wealthy, I started to consider the nature of wealth. All wealth comes from one source, of course. So I started to pray, as I hadn't since I was a little kid who thought things were very, very simple, that God would grant us the success we longed for. I promised Him service regardless of our fortunes, but I promised specifically that should He see fit to grant us the means, we would not use the money only for ourselves, but to further the work of the Kingdom. After all, as MK's, Sheri and I know all too well the needs of families struggling to do fulltime ministry and maintain support for their basic needs. Who better to entrust with a fortune than MK's, who know intimately very good ways to use the money? So I asked...after all, there are times when we have not because we ask not.

Well, as you may or may not know, my plan did not work. Needless to say, Sheri and I are presently not on any track, to the best of my knowledge, that will enable us to be clear of our own debts any time soon, let alone fully fund missionaries around the world. Honestly, this was disappointing. But we move on and keep working...after all, the commitment we had made to God was faithfulness regardless of circumstance. But every now and then, I have wondered why...why wouldn't God give His children an abundance of wealth? We could do so much with it...why is it withheld?

Well, as so often happens, I was in church this Sunday and an answer to this question was spoken to me in the midst of the sermon. You see, the sermon this week was one of those difficult ones...dealing with the financial status of the church, and the plans to grow their ministries and facilities and the financial needs that are incorporated with those moves. Our Pastor did a very good job of showing how this very practical issue was in fact a very direct part of the life and ministry of the church--which is hard. I was a Pastor's kid before I was a Missionary's kid, and I know. When the talk turns to the checkbook, people get uncomfortable. But its important. There's not a separation between the spiritual life and worship and the financial life of the church. Our church deals with a lot of money...but (despite the best efforts of televagelists to pervert this) those funds are as much a part of the worship as the praise songs. They don't go to the Pastor's private comfort...they go to enhancing our abilities to positively change our community for Christ. Its a big deal, and its important that it be handled with care.

Well, as I listened to the sermon, I started to have the old discussion with the Lord..."Lord, why don't you give me the money to help them? I would...wouldn't it be a great praise to Your name if I (or even just *somebody*) would give the church the total sum that they need for the project before them, and instruct the church to use all the funds they had raised for the project for ministry? Wouldn't that be a good use of Your gifts?"

And as I sat and asked this question, a voice answered me...

"No Chris; that's not the way things work. If I could just give you the money to take care of them, don't you think I could just give them the money they need? The point isn't getting them the money...they are learning faith and trust and understanding a little more of My great nature by having to wait for it to come as they need it, just as you are learning to depend on me for your needs by not having everything you want given instantly to you. Of course I could do it, but then the lesson would have been missed, and their joy would be less than full. Its not about the money Chris...its about teaching all of you about Me."

It was a moment of clarity. I felt a peace I hadn't before. Of course. So obvious and simple, naturally I was too short-sighted to realize it.

Lord, grant me mercy when I presume to know the best way for my life and even for others.