Anyone who knows me knows that I am not mechanically inclined. I am perpetually paying more for stuff handier people could take care of themselves. I have accepted that my unhandiness is part of my life...I am what I am, and I have accepted it. I have other talents...not ones that make me particularly popular on man-night (I have zero ball-handling skills--you do NOT want me on your basketball team, am clumsy when it comes to carpentry or mechanics, and I am not wild about any football team, college or pro...I have some preferences, but I adopted those in part to avoid being a leper amongst my fellow men). I am working on amending the problem...I am proud to say my drink of choice is scotch (Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch...I like Scotch...) and I really enjoy a good cigar (I had my first Cubans this summer...amazing). I enjoy poker and meat...I like eating meat while playing poker. And I have what might almost be called lust for the muscle car.
Which is really odd...since I am not the car-type. I don't care much about cars, nor have I ever been moved to learn much about cars.
But I cannot resist the old Muscle Cars. Even when they're not restored, I think they're just about the sexiest things on the road. I know I am doomed to never own one...you cannot one one unless you can take care of it, and I know I couldn't take care of it...but that doesn't stop the longing.
SO...with this in mind, I propose my solution to the dilemma facing Detroit. American cars cannot compete with Japanese cars. I know it is not entirely because of the product...but the product doesn't help. Compare a Focus with the Civic. Although the Focus is the closest Ford comes to competing, it cannot close the deal...it's just not as nice as the Civic. American Car's R&D departments just cannot muster the energy to put a stop to the foreign cars' dominance.
What is the answer? Look to the past! Get rid of the R&D departments, the focus groups that are obviously missing the mark, and the innovation that continues to produce cars that nobody wants to buy.
STOP!
Start making the old shells again. Put your Ford Focus into a classic Mustang body. No, it won't be an actual "Muscle Car" but who really cares? Get a nice loud muffler on that baby, a fresh, bright coat of gumball red...no more talk of a bailout.
Bring back the classics...those of us who don't want to spend every day this summer taking apart an engine (and wouldn't know where to begin even if we did want to!) will flock to your stores, and buy the cars we have loved since we were old enough to hold the Hot Wheel versions.
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