'Tis the Season

Our life has been, well, busy of late.

Pictures WILL come...but we're doing the home-making thing. It never ends. Even if I weren't committed to my new home until I am 56, I am secured to the new place by the bonds of paint, sawdust, Spackle, blood, sweat, and tears (those are mostly Sheri's...)

I'm starting school. Sheri's working, and studying for her boards (in 2 weeks! ACK! hence the tears...) Aiden is in preschool and is hopefully happier to there than at home, as home tends to be full of things he cannot do, since we're still trying to get it into at least working order, from the move.

We are working on one car...which meant that I got to walk Aiden to school today, and then bike myself to school, with roughly 5 minutes before class started to catch my breath.

I'm tired, mostly.

Many evenings of late, once Aiden is asleep, Sheri and I have had the energy to essentially watch some TV to unwind and then go to bed. We're wiped. And every time we tell anyone about where we're at, the general response is a look of pity, a sigh/pat on the shoulder, and these words; "Its just a season."

This is kindly meant, and I have appreciated the perspective. But the thing I realized this morning, as I returned from taking Aiden to school, and put my bag together and then darted out myself, was that I don't want this season to last. That may sound obvious, but something my Dad said to me the other day when I said those words myself made me think; he encouraged me to avoid allowing the excuses of this difficult season to become habits that become a part of our normal life.

This is really important, since life is never, really, all that normal. You pick up habits along the way, and if you're not careful before you know it you are the person you are going to be. If you are going to have a say in what sticks, you have to fight, even in the midst of "a season" to keep certain things merely seasonal, and to never entirely lose those practices you want to be characterize your "real" life.

I did not marry Sheri to spend my evenings with her watching TV. We did not have Aiden to ignore him or keep him entertained but not interact with him. I am not teaching so I don't have to think about good books and difficult thoughts. We are not working on a house to avoid having a home.

I did not receive salvation from Christ only to call out to Him in my moments of need, but ignore him when I am feeling just fine.

It is easy to make excuses, but being a whole person is not a quick or easy task; it requires vigilance and honest to goodness work. It requires that I give the little energy I have, during the little free-time I have, to love my son and teach him about life, rather than play a game, reading a fluff book or even sleeping. It demands that I use the time I have when Aiden is healthily occupied to work on lesson plans or make the home a better place for my wife and son. First and foremost, it requires that I spend more time meditating in quiet relfection on the great goodness of God, rather than filling my mind with every other argument I can find about politics, or pop-culture, or whatever else that so easily distracts. Of necessity, my actions will be influenced by what I spend my time thinking about...ultimately Christian service can only flow from someone that is honestly seeking to please the Lord in all things. How else can I expect, at the end of the day, to know my Savior better? To serve Him as I want to want to serve Him? Or for my son to know me? Or to have a wife...30 years from now, when we aren't fighting to make the house/job/transportation/income/boards/etc juggling act work?

The season cannot be the reason that we live as we live. If we are to have anything in the end, we must counter-act the natural tendency to excuse ourselves because of circumstances. Ultimately, I want more than just whatever I would settle for because I am tired.