Being Dad

Its ironic.

Aiden has been a real trooper. He's been lugged halfway to kingdom come by two crazy parents experimenting (from his point of view) with all the possible ways they can mess with his sense of a schedule. They have been quite successful, stretching him to the very limits. He has had some meltdowns along the way, but overall, he's been amazing. The hardest part has been sleeping.

For some reason, he can actually fall asleep...until we come to bed. And then he wakes up. And he cries. He won't stop crying. And he stiffens and arches and cries. Its not pretty.

But it is ironic.

Well, tonight is the night before I go away for a week to try and love kids whose parents were too selfish to love their own children. I will be the first to admit that when its 1 a.m. and I should have gone to sleep a couple hours ago and Aiden decides to declare WWIII, I am not often happy. But...tonight...it was a little different. Now, to be clear: I am not a saint (as if that needed saying); but it occured to me as he began to cry and I realized that sleep was not to be quite yet...how can I love other people's kids in the hard times if I cannot love my own during his? I need to be patient with him and find out what's wrong with him...not merely get mad and go sleep on the couch to avoid his moments of crying (something I frequently do actually do).

So I have been sitting with a kid who is (thank God!) not crying, but won't let me put him down for about half an hour now. He's just holding me...as if that was the reason he was crying to begin with; he wasn't where he belonged, in Daddy's arms. And in a sense...that's true. He wasn't, and now he is...and things aren't so bad afterall.

Being a Dad can be tough...I have never been as tired as I have perpetually been over the last two years...but there are undeniable perks.