El Gran Tiburón Blanco

I have a sort of...morbid fascination? with sharks. And recently, I have had the opportunity to watch some documentaries on Great Whites. I am creeped out and awe-struck all at once.

I believe, almost actually, that I will die by shark...if only because I am more afraid of sharks than almost anything else on the earth. Not wimpy afraid, a a girl and a spider...I am just in awe of how fantastically lethal a Great White Shark is.

One of the highlights of my life was seeing a Great White Shark (lets face it, the Celebrity of the Shark world) face to face...with a very important, and thankfully very thick piece of glass between us. She was like nature's version of a stealth bomber. You could see her when she was directly in front of you, and then she would disappear once she had passed even a few feet away...only to glide back into your line of site a few moments later. The other fish didn't disappear. Just the Great White. And the symmetry of her lines...I have never seen anything so deliberately built for hunting and killing. There were other sharks in the tank with her...they looked like regular fishes in comparison to the Great White. It was amazing.

I loved it...but I cannot understand the guys that go out (as the guys in the documentary did) and stand in a little motor boat throwing blood and meat into the water, and using a stick or a line to tempt Great Whites to get right up next to their miniscule boat and start thrashing. Crazy. Insane. Remember the famous line? "We're going to need a bigger boat." I watched two crazy people do their best to tempt the most lethal creature in nature as it tore a 500 lb seal to ribbons. The shark was over two tons! And their cameras captured the whole thing...the seal is just floating around, looking for something...the water looks nice enough...and then, from beneath the seal, a dark shadow starts to appear...and by the time you can make out exactly what it is...its too late. Death has literally just swam up and eaten you. Yeah, I wanna go out in a dingy and take pictures of THAT. Crazy!

I can imagine the discussion on one of those boats...they're talking to the camera..."Observe the shark, stalking its prey...so naturally capable of killing it seems effortless. It stalks the deeps, nature's Stealth Bomber of the depths...(psst, Larry...the Shark is getting a little too close to the camera...) See the ultimate predator as it rips into its victim, its awesome jaws sawing through thick layers with an efficiency not seen anywhere else in nature...(Larry...now he's getting too close to the boat...pssst--Larry...start the engine! No gas? The shark bit the propeller and now it won't spin?...he's left the seal...what's he doing?) See the shark abandon his kill, seemingly interested in something els...!(Larry...why is the shark moving back towards the boat? Larry?!?!) *crash* See how the shark explores the intruders to his domain...(What do you mean "there's water in the boat"? What?!? The Shark has cracked the hull of the boat? *crash*)" A new voice finishes the segment..."See the shark as he re-establishes his complete dominance of the sea, conquering even those land dwellers reckless enough to tempt fate and the shark with their lives..."

Yeah...I wouldn't be in that boat. Still, I am convinced it'll be sharks that finish me off in the end...With my luck, I'll end up eating some Shark soup at a restaurant some day and choke to death...and prove myself a rather ironic prophet. At least my tombstone can read:

"Christopher Leigh; Husband, Father, Son. Death by Shark"