Can I Be a Witness

I have had the opportunity to work in the real world. No longer surrounded by only Christians, working at Starbucks is the most secular environment I have been in since I was in ROTC. As such, its making me reconsider some things.

For the most part, I get along just fine with my co-workers. Actually, they like me but leave me alone. And I don't think its just because they don't "know" me...its because they know I am a Christian...and have recently discovered I am a Republican. The combination baffles them I think, or at least, they are not eager to share their jokes and what not with me.

But we do talk. Not incessantly, or even always casually. I talk about social issues with them. We discuss politics (sometimes I bring it up, sometimes they do), and twice I've talked about my faith with two of them (they brought it up). I have recently begun to wonder if I am doing what I should be doing with my opportunities though.

For example, our milkman walked into the store the other day and saw me reading a book on my 10 minute break. He started talking with me about the kinds of books I read and that led to a discussion about life and eternity. Before I really knew what was happening, he was asking me if I was a Christian and if I had been baptised. He told me he had grown up catholic but had left that church because it was a bunch of perverts. Now he went to a Baptist church (I think) but he said that every week for Mormon ladies would come into his home and talk to him about the Book of Mormon. He asked me what I thought about that, and what I thought about what comes after death. I told him that I believed that the Bible tells us what happens after death--that if we believe that Jesus was the Christ and came to earth to die for us, and if we believe that He died and rose again, and if we recognize we're sinners and that He had paid the price for us and if we ask for forgiveness we can be saved. I told him that at that point, our responsibility is to live as the Bible tells us to live. And I said that that was the reason why I didn't believe the Mormons--because while the Bible was the word of God, the Book of Mormon was written by a man--just like Islam was founded by a man. And I told him that religions founded by men have problems. He agreed and said that there were some crazy and amazing things in the Book of Mormon. At this point, my 10 minute break had stretched into 15-20 minutes, and I needed to get back to work.

Now, about a week later, I am still wondering if I said what I should have said. I am wondering if I heard the words God would have had me say, or if I was reckless with my witness. More importantly, I am wondering if I should bring this up again and again when I see him. Talking to him on other occasions, I know that he enjoys some things that are not in any way good...so I wonder what I should do.

This is the question I have for all my co-workers. I admit, I have not lifted them up in prayer for their souls. Several of them use weed, one of them strips for money as a second job. I am not saying they're awful people...I like working with them and think I have a good group of people to work with...they are simply lost. Lost and I wonder if the Light that I know shines through me to them at all.

I get frustrated by certain customers (as do we all...), my language is not always what I would like it to be (it rubs off...same problem with the ROTC), and I talk more about politics than my faith. Am I failing my Lord? A message from church keeps coming to my mind, where the speaker challenged us to consider what the world would be like if Christians introduced themselves as Paul did in his letters to the church--always and only recognizing himself as a servant of the Christ, Jesus the Lamb of God. I wonder if I am too meek--am I too comfortable as I work with them to risk telling them who I am? A Christian. I wonder what that would look like...challenging them in love to consider their lives? Asking them why they do what they do and asking them if they fill joy as a result? Is that too judgemental? What should I ask them? Or should I just relate everything back to my faith...when they ask a question, should I answer them in light of gospel and say so?

Lord my words fail me. I am not the man for you I long to be. Let me stand as my father and mother have stood, proudly proclaiming Your name in this world with love for those they would bring to You.

I was listening to Chris Rice's song "The Power of the Moment" last night while working on a deep clean shift. He sings about the power of living for Christ in the moment instead of living vainly looking to tomorrow, considering making a mark in history. That is what I want. I want to abandon tomorrow while today is still here.