Life, as they say, is a fickle thing.
Everytime you think you know where you are, and where you're going...something changes drastically and nothing is the same as it was. A direct affect of undulation, as Lewis called it. As temporal, shifting beings ourselves, we are subject to the constant shifting of the tides in our lives.
For a long time I have worried about the fickle nature of life. I tend to be decisive...to a point. When the critical moment comes and I have to decide, I will. But in the lead up to that moment, I have had problems at times being at peace with the potential choices I might or might not have to make. Its the potentials that bog me down.
Which is why I think a real lesson that has been coming up again and again of late has been to live for the moment in the best sense. To perceive that neither the past or the future are in my hands...and worrying about either of them only costs me peace now.
I have gone from one extreme to the other. Having failed in attempts near and dear to my heart in the past, I lived under the poisonous cloud of regret. No sooner did that cloud disapate but I learned to worry about what might happen (an easy pitfall for us at this point...we hang by a thread on the edge of a knife). And in every moment the challenge of reveling in what today offers was something I could not appreciate.
Yet, that is the answer I was looking for I think. Only by embracing today can I make yesterday matter...or lay the foundations for tomorrow's challenges. This is a Summer of transition for us, and as in all transitions its easy to focus on what we do not have but need in order to accomplish this transition. But this time, instead of looking out over the entire picture of what I think the future holds, I am trying to accomplish each day's task within that day. Its actually frustrating and a little painful to reign in my considerations...but the peace that accompanies it is a soothing balm to this irritation. Relinquishing control I was never able to maintain feels good!
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1 comment:
well said Chris!
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