Venti Java Chip Frappichino, with Whipped Cream, Extra Chips and Malt!

A good title after the one all about dieting, I think.

So, I felt it was time once again to impart the wisdom I have attained while working at Starbucks to my adoring "readers" (i.e. those who randomly stumble across this blog and find they cannot help reading something before quickly passing on to the wider, and apparently much more interesting blogosphere elsewhere...)

So, if you take nothing else away from this blog, heed me now if you love your Starbucks: I can save you money!

You might ask..."Why, Chris, are you interested in actually saving us, your customers, money?"

Well, say I, its because I don't care about how much money you spend at Starbucks, in the sense that I don't care if you get away with getting a deal or not. I like making samples for people (when we're not crazy busy). I like upgrading people when they didn't ask for it...assuming they would actually enjoy a larger drink (some people really don't, and that then becomes a little embarrassing...) And should you visit me in my little store and ask for a drink that comes with a topping of caramel, mocha, blackberry, etc, I like to make sure that your topping is generous.

You paid for it...why shouldn't you think its well worth the $5 you spent on a drink? More importantly...I have to make your drinks either way...and I don't get paid more or less for being nice to you. So why not be nice?

A minor detail...if you tip me...wow, are you gonna be treated well--if at all possible, it will be the best drink you've ever had at Starbucks.

So, listen up...these tips are good. All drinks I am mentioning are blended or iced..hot drinks are harder to cheat with.

****As a disclaimer, every Starbucks is subjective to the baristas working at the time. If you get mean or stressed people, they may not look kindly on your attempts to make your dollars stretch further. Still, my tips are entirely legal, and in general should cause no further trouble than adding another thing for you to remember with your complicated frap order.****

1.) When you want to provide fraps for multiple people, but would rather not pay around $4 per person...buy your drinks in Venti size, and instruct the barista to split the drinks into two tall cups. Here's the secret...a Venti is pretty much exactly two talls. Two talls cost $6.60. One Venti costs $3.95-$4.15. You do the math.

2.) This one is important for everyone that doesn't order a Venti...always order your drink and request that they serve it in the next largest size cup. So, if you order a tall, request it in a Grande cup, for a Grande drink, a Venti cup. The reason this is a great tip is this: the frap mix always prepares more than is actually needed to fill your cup. This excess gets thrown away. By ordering a larger cup you pay the price of the smaller drink, but you'll end up with nearly the same amount as the larger drink, because the barista will usually dump the entire contents of the blender into your larger cup. A savings of smaller proportions than the first, but still a savings nonetheless.

3.) Finally, this one is much less sneaky (we'll know what you're doing...but what do you care?), but when you want an iced latte, order shots over ice. Its cheaper than a Latte, and we have milk available for your personal use at the bar (the place with the napkins, cinnamon, etc). Since you wanted a cold drink anyways, you save yourself something like $0.30...but in my way of thinking, every $0.30 saved helps buy that next $4 Frappichino, right?

This concludes this segment of "Tips From a Barista". It seems only fair you reciprocate...where are all you Best Buy employees who'll tell me how to get a free Laptop? I'll settle for a Palm Pilot...