Life, as they say, is a fickle thing.
Everytime you think you know where you are, and where you're going...something changes drastically and nothing is the same as it was. A direct affect of undulation, as Lewis called it. As temporal, shifting beings ourselves, we are subject to the constant shifting of the tides in our lives.
For a long time I have worried about the fickle nature of life. I tend to be decisive...to a point. When the critical moment comes and I have to decide, I will. But in the lead up to that moment, I have had problems at times being at peace with the potential choices I might or might not have to make. Its the potentials that bog me down.
Which is why I think a real lesson that has been coming up again and again of late has been to live for the moment in the best sense. To perceive that neither the past or the future are in my hands...and worrying about either of them only costs me peace now.
I have gone from one extreme to the other. Having failed in attempts near and dear to my heart in the past, I lived under the poisonous cloud of regret. No sooner did that cloud disapate but I learned to worry about what might happen (an easy pitfall for us at this point...we hang by a thread on the edge of a knife). And in every moment the challenge of reveling in what today offers was something I could not appreciate.
Yet, that is the answer I was looking for I think. Only by embracing today can I make yesterday matter...or lay the foundations for tomorrow's challenges. This is a Summer of transition for us, and as in all transitions its easy to focus on what we do not have but need in order to accomplish this transition. But this time, instead of looking out over the entire picture of what I think the future holds, I am trying to accomplish each day's task within that day. Its actually frustrating and a little painful to reign in my considerations...but the peace that accompanies it is a soothing balm to this irritation. Relinquishing control I was never able to maintain feels good!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Greatest Idea Ever?
This sounds like it might be fantastic.
I am skeptical...but part of me really wishes I had the money to go and see what its all about. They've already done one thing very right...they chose a tropical paradise.
Brave new worlds always do better when set in a tropical paradise.
I am skeptical...but part of me really wishes I had the money to go and see what its all about. They've already done one thing very right...they chose a tropical paradise.
Brave new worlds always do better when set in a tropical paradise.
Just let me do my job, and nobody gets hurt...
Work is a funny thing.
You need to have some to do...at least, if you're like me you do. When you don't, things get bad; you start to disappear into the "free time" void. It helps to have something keeping you going...a purpose, an environment where there are goals and expectations...even a little competition. Its not the highlight of my day...but its a necessity nonetheless. Which is why its really aggrevating to have my ability to work properly thwarted.
Well, as you know, I work a couple of different jobs. Teaching very part-time is one of them. Its become more part-time than it originally was. I started out teaching high school U.S. history and middle school World history at the Gorman Learning Center. The Gorman Learning Center is essentially a program for home-schooled kids to get formalized classroom educations, allowing the parents to have a direct say in the education, but freeing them up from the responsibility of understanding the special details of every subject (math, history, etc). Sounds like a good idea, right?
Well, in theory, yes, I think so. In practice, no, not so much--at least in my experience.
First of all, I have no accountability when it comes to how the students perform in class. I teach "enrichment classes", which account for something like 20% of the grade...and most kids don't sweat that 20%. So I don't have the leverage of grades. I also cannot give detentions...there's no systym in place for such disciplinary actions. Once again, no leverage. And, I cannot assign real work or demand real attention to my subject. When I do that, kids complain to their parents and get themselves pulled out of my class. No leverage there either...and I actually lost one of my classes, resulting in a real cut in pay. I put myself out of work by trying to do the job I was being paid to do.
Its kinda ridiculous really. I get paid $28/hr. I get paid for 2 1/2 hours every week at this place, now that I lost a class, which rounds out to roughly $120-$130 every paycheck (subtracting taxes, of course). Well, while I am teaching, we have to pay someone to watch Aiden...about $50 a day. So every two weeks I receive a paycheck for roughly $125, and every two weeks we pay someone $100 to watch Aiden so I can earn that money. The gas it takes to transport Aiden to and from babysitting, and me to school takes easily half a tank of gas...so I spend everything (and probably more) that I make from this unsatisfying job trying to make it possible for me to continue working there.
If I had more than 1 week left, I might care enough to quit. For now, we maintain the status quo, and I learn an important lesson...I honored my commitment to provide classes for this group, even when they broke their promise to ensure I would have these classes. Never again.
You need to have some to do...at least, if you're like me you do. When you don't, things get bad; you start to disappear into the "free time" void. It helps to have something keeping you going...a purpose, an environment where there are goals and expectations...even a little competition. Its not the highlight of my day...but its a necessity nonetheless. Which is why its really aggrevating to have my ability to work properly thwarted.
Well, as you know, I work a couple of different jobs. Teaching very part-time is one of them. Its become more part-time than it originally was. I started out teaching high school U.S. history and middle school World history at the Gorman Learning Center. The Gorman Learning Center is essentially a program for home-schooled kids to get formalized classroom educations, allowing the parents to have a direct say in the education, but freeing them up from the responsibility of understanding the special details of every subject (math, history, etc). Sounds like a good idea, right?
Well, in theory, yes, I think so. In practice, no, not so much--at least in my experience.
First of all, I have no accountability when it comes to how the students perform in class. I teach "enrichment classes", which account for something like 20% of the grade...and most kids don't sweat that 20%. So I don't have the leverage of grades. I also cannot give detentions...there's no systym in place for such disciplinary actions. Once again, no leverage. And, I cannot assign real work or demand real attention to my subject. When I do that, kids complain to their parents and get themselves pulled out of my class. No leverage there either...and I actually lost one of my classes, resulting in a real cut in pay. I put myself out of work by trying to do the job I was being paid to do.
Its kinda ridiculous really. I get paid $28/hr. I get paid for 2 1/2 hours every week at this place, now that I lost a class, which rounds out to roughly $120-$130 every paycheck (subtracting taxes, of course). Well, while I am teaching, we have to pay someone to watch Aiden...about $50 a day. So every two weeks I receive a paycheck for roughly $125, and every two weeks we pay someone $100 to watch Aiden so I can earn that money. The gas it takes to transport Aiden to and from babysitting, and me to school takes easily half a tank of gas...so I spend everything (and probably more) that I make from this unsatisfying job trying to make it possible for me to continue working there.
If I had more than 1 week left, I might care enough to quit. For now, we maintain the status quo, and I learn an important lesson...I honored my commitment to provide classes for this group, even when they broke their promise to ensure I would have these classes. Never again.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Venti Java Chip Frappichino, with Whipped Cream, Extra Chips and Malt!
A good title after the one all about dieting, I think.
So, I felt it was time once again to impart the wisdom I have attained while working at Starbucks to my adoring "readers" (i.e. those who randomly stumble across this blog and find they cannot help reading something before quickly passing on to the wider, and apparently much more interesting blogosphere elsewhere...)
So, if you take nothing else away from this blog, heed me now if you love your Starbucks: I can save you money!
You might ask..."Why, Chris, are you interested in actually saving us, your customers, money?"
Well, say I, its because I don't care about how much money you spend at Starbucks, in the sense that I don't care if you get away with getting a deal or not. I like making samples for people (when we're not crazy busy). I like upgrading people when they didn't ask for it...assuming they would actually enjoy a larger drink (some people really don't, and that then becomes a little embarrassing...) And should you visit me in my little store and ask for a drink that comes with a topping of caramel, mocha, blackberry, etc, I like to make sure that your topping is generous.
You paid for it...why shouldn't you think its well worth the $5 you spent on a drink? More importantly...I have to make your drinks either way...and I don't get paid more or less for being nice to you. So why not be nice?
A minor detail...if you tip me...wow, are you gonna be treated well--if at all possible, it will be the best drink you've ever had at Starbucks.
So, listen up...these tips are good. All drinks I am mentioning are blended or iced..hot drinks are harder to cheat with.
****As a disclaimer, every Starbucks is subjective to the baristas working at the time. If you get mean or stressed people, they may not look kindly on your attempts to make your dollars stretch further. Still, my tips are entirely legal, and in general should cause no further trouble than adding another thing for you to remember with your complicated frap order.****
1.) When you want to provide fraps for multiple people, but would rather not pay around $4 per person...buy your drinks in Venti size, and instruct the barista to split the drinks into two tall cups. Here's the secret...a Venti is pretty much exactly two talls. Two talls cost $6.60. One Venti costs $3.95-$4.15. You do the math.
2.) This one is important for everyone that doesn't order a Venti...always order your drink and request that they serve it in the next largest size cup. So, if you order a tall, request it in a Grande cup, for a Grande drink, a Venti cup. The reason this is a great tip is this: the frap mix always prepares more than is actually needed to fill your cup. This excess gets thrown away. By ordering a larger cup you pay the price of the smaller drink, but you'll end up with nearly the same amount as the larger drink, because the barista will usually dump the entire contents of the blender into your larger cup. A savings of smaller proportions than the first, but still a savings nonetheless.
3.) Finally, this one is much less sneaky (we'll know what you're doing...but what do you care?), but when you want an iced latte, order shots over ice. Its cheaper than a Latte, and we have milk available for your personal use at the bar (the place with the napkins, cinnamon, etc). Since you wanted a cold drink anyways, you save yourself something like $0.30...but in my way of thinking, every $0.30 saved helps buy that next $4 Frappichino, right?
This concludes this segment of "Tips From a Barista". It seems only fair you reciprocate...where are all you Best Buy employees who'll tell me how to get a free Laptop? I'll settle for a Palm Pilot...
So, I felt it was time once again to impart the wisdom I have attained while working at Starbucks to my adoring "readers" (i.e. those who randomly stumble across this blog and find they cannot help reading something before quickly passing on to the wider, and apparently much more interesting blogosphere elsewhere...)
So, if you take nothing else away from this blog, heed me now if you love your Starbucks: I can save you money!
You might ask..."Why, Chris, are you interested in actually saving us, your customers, money?"
Well, say I, its because I don't care about how much money you spend at Starbucks, in the sense that I don't care if you get away with getting a deal or not. I like making samples for people (when we're not crazy busy). I like upgrading people when they didn't ask for it...assuming they would actually enjoy a larger drink (some people really don't, and that then becomes a little embarrassing...) And should you visit me in my little store and ask for a drink that comes with a topping of caramel, mocha, blackberry, etc, I like to make sure that your topping is generous.
You paid for it...why shouldn't you think its well worth the $5 you spent on a drink? More importantly...I have to make your drinks either way...and I don't get paid more or less for being nice to you. So why not be nice?
A minor detail...if you tip me...wow, are you gonna be treated well--if at all possible, it will be the best drink you've ever had at Starbucks.
So, listen up...these tips are good. All drinks I am mentioning are blended or iced..hot drinks are harder to cheat with.
****As a disclaimer, every Starbucks is subjective to the baristas working at the time. If you get mean or stressed people, they may not look kindly on your attempts to make your dollars stretch further. Still, my tips are entirely legal, and in general should cause no further trouble than adding another thing for you to remember with your complicated frap order.****
1.) When you want to provide fraps for multiple people, but would rather not pay around $4 per person...buy your drinks in Venti size, and instruct the barista to split the drinks into two tall cups. Here's the secret...a Venti is pretty much exactly two talls. Two talls cost $6.60. One Venti costs $3.95-$4.15. You do the math.
2.) This one is important for everyone that doesn't order a Venti...always order your drink and request that they serve it in the next largest size cup. So, if you order a tall, request it in a Grande cup, for a Grande drink, a Venti cup. The reason this is a great tip is this: the frap mix always prepares more than is actually needed to fill your cup. This excess gets thrown away. By ordering a larger cup you pay the price of the smaller drink, but you'll end up with nearly the same amount as the larger drink, because the barista will usually dump the entire contents of the blender into your larger cup. A savings of smaller proportions than the first, but still a savings nonetheless.
3.) Finally, this one is much less sneaky (we'll know what you're doing...but what do you care?), but when you want an iced latte, order shots over ice. Its cheaper than a Latte, and we have milk available for your personal use at the bar (the place with the napkins, cinnamon, etc). Since you wanted a cold drink anyways, you save yourself something like $0.30...but in my way of thinking, every $0.30 saved helps buy that next $4 Frappichino, right?
This concludes this segment of "Tips From a Barista". It seems only fair you reciprocate...where are all you Best Buy employees who'll tell me how to get a free Laptop? I'll settle for a Palm Pilot...
Sunday, May 28, 2006
The science and theology of Dieting
As I mentioned in a previous post, health has become a central issue of concern in our lives.
For a long time we went the strict route. Exercise and zero carbs, zero sugars, zero anything. Meat & veggies. Normally that stage lasts only two weeks...we stretched it out for six. It had results in how we felt and what we looked like and what we weighed. We were encouraged.
We decided that that is not "real life" though, and so we've begun to integrate regular foods into the diet again, via Weight Watchers points method. We've held steady so far, neither progressing or regressing. We're going to give it another week to see how it goes...this week involved certain events that negated our efforts to go to the next step. Eating a scone or sharing a meal with friends can sabotage a diet like nothing else!
This is where the science comes in. For a person my size, I have 24 "points" of food available to me a day, to keep losing weight. There are things you can do to increase that number--exercise, and you get a few extra points. And every week you get a certain amount of flex points to allow for indulgences along the way. But generally, you wanna keep it at your mark or below. Well, today I was looking through the "eating out" guide to figure out what we are looking at when we go out to eat. Its shocking, and a little disturbing when I think about how I was eating before I started to diet.
A piece of cheese pizza at Papa John's is about 1/3 of my entire daily allowance of points. At Pizza Hut, its a little less--only 6 points per slice of cheese pizza. Previously, I would easily down between 3-4 pieces without thinking about it. An order of large fries is half the daily allowance. A steak from Sizzler is 17 points. A Cispy Cream Donut is 5 points.
Its frightening to think that, at certain times, I could eat what amounts to two or three times my alloted portions without flinching. Now I regularly top out at around 22-24 points. It feels good to see progress...but its frustrating to realize just how easily I sabotaged myself for so long.
And now comes the theology. Throughout all of this I have found an odd thing to be true. My motivation is not my own vanity. Its not a desire to look good. Its not a desire to make myself safe through health. Its not even the far flung hope of someday rising to my old healthy status in order to overcome a personal Everest.
What motivates me (to my complete surprise) is a lesson from Screwtape...that my self-discipline in the merely physical things has a profound affect on my spiritual discipline. The santification of my soul makes me say no to the desires of my stomach. When I think about cheating (and nobody would know) I think about Sheri. Would I leave her? I think about Aiden...will I willingly fail him? My Lord...would I deny Him when its convenient?
I don't write this because I think I am "cool" for finding this to be proper motivation. I am honestly surprised that I have been so profoundly impacted by this lesson. In all honesty, I have tried to fast before, claiming other motivations, but in reality hoping for a quick fix to a weight problem. But now...weight seems (admittedly not always, but more often than ever before) to be merely a side issue...and the question of whether I can master my appetites is the real issue on the table, so to speak.
SO we press onwards. We say "No" when we would enjoy something, because pleasure is not everything its cracked up to be. We make ourselves work out and run, even when it hurts. My joints ache in a way they haven't since I was in the ROTC. Fortunately, my shins remain intact and healthy as far as I can tell. My knees and my shoulder, old injuries dating back to the mats of the wrestling room, are a different story.
But with this *new* reason pushing us forward, I am not discouraged when these difficulties arise. I take my time and keep working. It is, in an odd way, a work of praise and devotion to God. Seeing it in that light, whatever I can or cannot do is enabled by Him and so I can merely do what I am able to do.
For a long time we went the strict route. Exercise and zero carbs, zero sugars, zero anything. Meat & veggies. Normally that stage lasts only two weeks...we stretched it out for six. It had results in how we felt and what we looked like and what we weighed. We were encouraged.
We decided that that is not "real life" though, and so we've begun to integrate regular foods into the diet again, via Weight Watchers points method. We've held steady so far, neither progressing or regressing. We're going to give it another week to see how it goes...this week involved certain events that negated our efforts to go to the next step. Eating a scone or sharing a meal with friends can sabotage a diet like nothing else!
This is where the science comes in. For a person my size, I have 24 "points" of food available to me a day, to keep losing weight. There are things you can do to increase that number--exercise, and you get a few extra points. And every week you get a certain amount of flex points to allow for indulgences along the way. But generally, you wanna keep it at your mark or below. Well, today I was looking through the "eating out" guide to figure out what we are looking at when we go out to eat. Its shocking, and a little disturbing when I think about how I was eating before I started to diet.
A piece of cheese pizza at Papa John's is about 1/3 of my entire daily allowance of points. At Pizza Hut, its a little less--only 6 points per slice of cheese pizza. Previously, I would easily down between 3-4 pieces without thinking about it. An order of large fries is half the daily allowance. A steak from Sizzler is 17 points. A Cispy Cream Donut is 5 points.
Its frightening to think that, at certain times, I could eat what amounts to two or three times my alloted portions without flinching. Now I regularly top out at around 22-24 points. It feels good to see progress...but its frustrating to realize just how easily I sabotaged myself for so long.
And now comes the theology. Throughout all of this I have found an odd thing to be true. My motivation is not my own vanity. Its not a desire to look good. Its not a desire to make myself safe through health. Its not even the far flung hope of someday rising to my old healthy status in order to overcome a personal Everest.
What motivates me (to my complete surprise) is a lesson from Screwtape...that my self-discipline in the merely physical things has a profound affect on my spiritual discipline. The santification of my soul makes me say no to the desires of my stomach. When I think about cheating (and nobody would know) I think about Sheri. Would I leave her? I think about Aiden...will I willingly fail him? My Lord...would I deny Him when its convenient?
I don't write this because I think I am "cool" for finding this to be proper motivation. I am honestly surprised that I have been so profoundly impacted by this lesson. In all honesty, I have tried to fast before, claiming other motivations, but in reality hoping for a quick fix to a weight problem. But now...weight seems (admittedly not always, but more often than ever before) to be merely a side issue...and the question of whether I can master my appetites is the real issue on the table, so to speak.
SO we press onwards. We say "No" when we would enjoy something, because pleasure is not everything its cracked up to be. We make ourselves work out and run, even when it hurts. My joints ache in a way they haven't since I was in the ROTC. Fortunately, my shins remain intact and healthy as far as I can tell. My knees and my shoulder, old injuries dating back to the mats of the wrestling room, are a different story.
But with this *new* reason pushing us forward, I am not discouraged when these difficulties arise. I take my time and keep working. It is, in an odd way, a work of praise and devotion to God. Seeing it in that light, whatever I can or cannot do is enabled by Him and so I can merely do what I am able to do.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Contracted...
Its official. I've signed a contract to work for Santa Fe Springs Christian Middle School. Teaching part time through the next year, covering 6th-8th grade history, spanning from Ancient to U.S. history.
I get to work with my former room-mate and groomsman, Justin Rupple. It is the same school the my niece, Chole Winter, attends.
All in all, I am happy. I am very excited about this opportunity.
Now, lest you think this answers all prayers...God has been good, but has apparently decided that I will profit from having more than one job next year. So pray that the next job makes itself known sooner rather than later. We'll need roughly $1000/month on top of what I will be making at the school. And we'll need child-care for Aiden. We've accepted that we may have to borrow money to pay for child-care...a thought which doesn't give us much comfort. But God will provide.
So praise be to God for His provision in this. Praise Him for what He will do to meet the rest of our needs. As the needs arise, the means will come to meet those needs.
Middle Schoolers ignorant of history beware...I am contracted.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Life is Where You are...
Well, I took my Lady
To the top of a mountain--
We hung our feet over
All creation.
And we agreed--
That the sight was beautiful.
And we agreed--
That tomorrow, it'd be a memory.
And as far as we could see--
It was all that we could be--
But the land had seen lovers come and go before...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
She said, "Think about
The greatest day in your life--
The day when you were longing for the sun to rise.
You said, "Hey this is Life
I've been lookin for..."
And you groaned as the shadows,
They fell to the floor."
And up on that mountain,
We saw our days
Rise like a vapor
And float away...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Talking about Life...
Think of all the times--think of all the times--
When you've dreamed of being somebody, somewhere in another time.
And you've closed your eyes been swallowed by sleep,
And your secret desires, they rise from the deep.
You say, "I wish I were somebody, somewhere else!"
Cause life looks so real from where they are...
But I tell ya...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Talking about Life...
We're all looking for security
Its the basic drug of human need.
Well, I've lost faith in things that fade
Or things that broken or taken away.
And up on that mountain,
We saw our days
Rise like a vapor
And float away...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Talking about Life...
~Paul Coleman, Life is Where You Are
To the top of a mountain--
We hung our feet over
All creation.
And we agreed--
That the sight was beautiful.
And we agreed--
That tomorrow, it'd be a memory.
And as far as we could see--
It was all that we could be--
But the land had seen lovers come and go before...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
She said, "Think about
The greatest day in your life--
The day when you were longing for the sun to rise.
You said, "Hey this is Life
I've been lookin for..."
And you groaned as the shadows,
They fell to the floor."
And up on that mountain,
We saw our days
Rise like a vapor
And float away...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Talking about Life...
Think of all the times--think of all the times--
When you've dreamed of being somebody, somewhere in another time.
And you've closed your eyes been swallowed by sleep,
And your secret desires, they rise from the deep.
You say, "I wish I were somebody, somewhere else!"
Cause life looks so real from where they are...
But I tell ya...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Talking about Life...
We're all looking for security
Its the basic drug of human need.
Well, I've lost faith in things that fade
Or things that broken or taken away.
And up on that mountain,
We saw our days
Rise like a vapor
And float away...
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Life is where you are...oh, Life is where you are.
Talking about Life...
~Paul Coleman, Life is Where You Are
Blog-Marketers...
You write this stupid long post about whatever it is that makes your brain tweak at the time...you leave your computer for a day or two, come back to your blog, almost not daring to hope...but, no, there IS a comment waiting for you. Expectantly you click the icon to see what someone thought of your thoughts...
...and its an ad for some worthless get-rich-quick-and-easy scheme.
Well, no more! Forgive me, but if you want to comment, you'll have to identify yourself as an actual person from now on. Actual people advertising in comments can keep doing it I guess...its their lives they're wasting. But no more Bots spamming me! Enough! Finito! Done & Done! Finished!
...and its an ad for some worthless get-rich-quick-and-easy scheme.
Well, no more! Forgive me, but if you want to comment, you'll have to identify yourself as an actual person from now on. Actual people advertising in comments can keep doing it I guess...its their lives they're wasting. But no more Bots spamming me! Enough! Finito! Done & Done! Finished!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Cool Breath to the Brain
I sat in for 8 hours of the Al Geier Metathon this past weekend.
It was wonderful.
I don't know what else to say...if I start exponding on my thought on Aristotle's Physics and Metaphysics, I think I accomplish two things...I lose my audience and I expose just how little I understand it at all.
But, as my weekly intellectual stimulation of late rarely goes beyond talking about the Christian life in the context of here and now...it was refreshing to specifically address the larger questions of man as a whole, in relation to everything else...and nature, motion, place, essence, form, matter, substance, etc. Such a great 8 hours!
It took me a decent hour before I was getting close to being able to read the passage once and register meaning in my brain. Its muscle folks! Stop using it, and wow does it lose its shape and tone! I haven't abandoned the life of the mind...but I am not in academia any longer and it shows.
Its good that it does though...I would hate to discover that I was the same after not exercising for a year as I was when I was working everyday with these problems. That would say more about my status during the work time than my status during hiatus.
Hmmm. Well, it just means one thing. I need to examine our lives and figure out a way to fit more of this type of thing into it. You cannot feel that alive and not try to adapt your life to accomidate whatever is required to feel like that on a regular basis.
I know I'm sounding silly. What can I say? I miss the dialogue. I take in all sorts of media...I digest into myself plenty of messages, deeper and shallower at times. But the dialogue is missing. Sheri and I carry on as best we can (and she is my saving grace) but we both miss the opportunity to talk with others. Our lives aren't very accomidating to that need. Something to remedy...
It was wonderful.
I don't know what else to say...if I start exponding on my thought on Aristotle's Physics and Metaphysics, I think I accomplish two things...I lose my audience and I expose just how little I understand it at all.
But, as my weekly intellectual stimulation of late rarely goes beyond talking about the Christian life in the context of here and now...it was refreshing to specifically address the larger questions of man as a whole, in relation to everything else...and nature, motion, place, essence, form, matter, substance, etc. Such a great 8 hours!
It took me a decent hour before I was getting close to being able to read the passage once and register meaning in my brain. Its muscle folks! Stop using it, and wow does it lose its shape and tone! I haven't abandoned the life of the mind...but I am not in academia any longer and it shows.
Its good that it does though...I would hate to discover that I was the same after not exercising for a year as I was when I was working everyday with these problems. That would say more about my status during the work time than my status during hiatus.
Hmmm. Well, it just means one thing. I need to examine our lives and figure out a way to fit more of this type of thing into it. You cannot feel that alive and not try to adapt your life to accomidate whatever is required to feel like that on a regular basis.
I know I'm sounding silly. What can I say? I miss the dialogue. I take in all sorts of media...I digest into myself plenty of messages, deeper and shallower at times. But the dialogue is missing. Sheri and I carry on as best we can (and she is my saving grace) but we both miss the opportunity to talk with others. Our lives aren't very accomidating to that need. Something to remedy...
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Political Broo-ha-ha
As my last post was a "survey" of my political inclinations, I thought I would post some thoughts on my political stance.
The "survey" is correct...I am a Republican. I cannot be called an independent. I am not a Democrat. I am a Conservative, not a Liberal.
But these titles mean very little upon reflection. Most people have little or no idea what they represent...even fewer have a clear idea of which politicians represent what ideas of which parties.
Well, this is not going to be Politics 101. I am neither inclined nor qualified enough at this point in time to attempt that...and I am fairly certain nobody would be interested in reading it...whether they're interested in read what I write instead is something else, but I don't care about that for the moment.
So...this post is to pan out what I believe, possibly with some reasons as to "why", and to show how that draws a line to a political affiliation. I am not a Republican first...I am a believer of certain ideals and a Republican as a result. So, here goes...
I believe in the importance of a strong central government. Its a necessity.
I believe in the obligation of the government to provide for certain basic freedoms; life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (read: excellence). I also think it is the obligation of the government to instill a certain amount of moral guidance into our common affairs. Preventing things like discrimination that, though they might be the rights of free men to practice, are not allowable in a moral society. This is a two-headed axe though...legal abortion is in direct violation of these rights as far as the unborn child is concerned...and that should concern us all.
I believe in the need for a national defense that proactively addresses issues of domestic and international concern. Whether it has always been needed doesn't factor into the reality that it is needed today.
I believe that while the government should operate as a shelter for the free market to operate within, there must be oversight to protect both the consumer and the producer of goods and services. The free market, when unattended, has no moral foundation that I am aware of. It is valuable, but as with all free things, for there to be freedom a certain amount of control and discipline is necessary.
I believe there is a delicate balance to maintain in a free society between the rights of the individual and the rights of society as a whole. I tend to think that in today's litigious and P.C. atmosphere, we are unbalanced in favor of the individual and to the cost of society as a whole. If we are to survive and thrive, this must be remedied.
I believe that while diversity should be celebrated, it should not be forced.
I believe that society should reward the virtuous and hard working with rewards suiting their efforts. Welfare should not be offered to people that won't work.
I believe that if you work in the government, you should be held to a higher standard.
I believe in the death penalty. Why should violent felons sap the resources of the society they have harmed? And if not the death penalty...then a penal colony. Whatever the final solution, criminals of a violent nature should not sap the resources of society, and neither should they receive mercy while their victims receive no justice.
I do not think the government needs to be larger.
I like lowering taxes. I hate paying them.
I think the government should fund education better--including private school options.
I think prayers should be allowed at school.
I think US history should be taught as a positive reflection of our past...not as a list of indictments on the sins of America's bloody life. Save that for parents. Schools should teach truth...but they shouldn't mis-represent the truth by emphasizing only one aspect of it.
I think you can recognize that we are primarily a nation of the Judeo-Christian vent without outlawing other religions. Ignoring the reality in favor of including everyone as if they represent equal demographics to the overwhelming majority is forcing beliefs on people.
I think the "In God We Trust" is appropriate and should remain on our currency and in our pledge. For that matter...I don't see how show-casing the 10 Commandments in a court room constitutes a serious breach in the separation of Church and State.
I think freedom of speech is as dangerous as the right to bear arms. More revolutions have happened as a result of ideas than guns. More people have died over ideas than guns. More often than not, people with guns that act badly do so because of bad ideas. You put away your pen...then talk to me about putting away the guns.
I think immigration is an important issue. Simple amnesty is not the answer. Closing the borders and posting snipers in the desert...also not the answer. Closing the border is actually part of the answer though. But I gave my thoughts on this already.
I am not a single issue voter, but if I was...abortion would be enough. Whichever party embraces the murder of the unborn with a whole heart has lost its way, IMHO. I know there are other issues of moral relevance (which is why I'm not a single issue voter) but the importance of this gets down-played when we mock single-issue voters. We're "ok" with killing babies folks. Think about it...the government upholds the "Rights of the Mother" over the "Right of Life". There's a problem there.
I am actually a believer in the idea of a republic versus a democracy. People are stupid. I don't want people having direct power. I want a shield between us and power. Yay electoral college!
I think national security can trump individual rights if the situation merits it. This doesn't mean I think there shouldn't be significant deliberation before that happens...but its a reality I think we need to remember.
Finally...I don't think its necessary to apologize to anyone for prosperity. Nor does that necessitate the responsibility to help those that refuse to acknowledge their own need. If we help those that cannot stand us...that's a good thing, maybe...but its not and shouldn't be expected.
So yeah. These are some of the reasons I come out as a Republican. Hopefully a little clarifying.
The "survey" is correct...I am a Republican. I cannot be called an independent. I am not a Democrat. I am a Conservative, not a Liberal.
But these titles mean very little upon reflection. Most people have little or no idea what they represent...even fewer have a clear idea of which politicians represent what ideas of which parties.
Well, this is not going to be Politics 101. I am neither inclined nor qualified enough at this point in time to attempt that...and I am fairly certain nobody would be interested in reading it...whether they're interested in read what I write instead is something else, but I don't care about that for the moment.
So...this post is to pan out what I believe, possibly with some reasons as to "why", and to show how that draws a line to a political affiliation. I am not a Republican first...I am a believer of certain ideals and a Republican as a result. So, here goes...
I believe in the importance of a strong central government. Its a necessity.
I believe in the obligation of the government to provide for certain basic freedoms; life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (read: excellence). I also think it is the obligation of the government to instill a certain amount of moral guidance into our common affairs. Preventing things like discrimination that, though they might be the rights of free men to practice, are not allowable in a moral society. This is a two-headed axe though...legal abortion is in direct violation of these rights as far as the unborn child is concerned...and that should concern us all.
I believe in the need for a national defense that proactively addresses issues of domestic and international concern. Whether it has always been needed doesn't factor into the reality that it is needed today.
I believe that while the government should operate as a shelter for the free market to operate within, there must be oversight to protect both the consumer and the producer of goods and services. The free market, when unattended, has no moral foundation that I am aware of. It is valuable, but as with all free things, for there to be freedom a certain amount of control and discipline is necessary.
I believe there is a delicate balance to maintain in a free society between the rights of the individual and the rights of society as a whole. I tend to think that in today's litigious and P.C. atmosphere, we are unbalanced in favor of the individual and to the cost of society as a whole. If we are to survive and thrive, this must be remedied.
I believe that while diversity should be celebrated, it should not be forced.
I believe that society should reward the virtuous and hard working with rewards suiting their efforts. Welfare should not be offered to people that won't work.
I believe that if you work in the government, you should be held to a higher standard.
I believe in the death penalty. Why should violent felons sap the resources of the society they have harmed? And if not the death penalty...then a penal colony. Whatever the final solution, criminals of a violent nature should not sap the resources of society, and neither should they receive mercy while their victims receive no justice.
I do not think the government needs to be larger.
I like lowering taxes. I hate paying them.
I think the government should fund education better--including private school options.
I think prayers should be allowed at school.
I think US history should be taught as a positive reflection of our past...not as a list of indictments on the sins of America's bloody life. Save that for parents. Schools should teach truth...but they shouldn't mis-represent the truth by emphasizing only one aspect of it.
I think you can recognize that we are primarily a nation of the Judeo-Christian vent without outlawing other religions. Ignoring the reality in favor of including everyone as if they represent equal demographics to the overwhelming majority is forcing beliefs on people.
I think the "In God We Trust" is appropriate and should remain on our currency and in our pledge. For that matter...I don't see how show-casing the 10 Commandments in a court room constitutes a serious breach in the separation of Church and State.
I think freedom of speech is as dangerous as the right to bear arms. More revolutions have happened as a result of ideas than guns. More people have died over ideas than guns. More often than not, people with guns that act badly do so because of bad ideas. You put away your pen...then talk to me about putting away the guns.
I think immigration is an important issue. Simple amnesty is not the answer. Closing the borders and posting snipers in the desert...also not the answer. Closing the border is actually part of the answer though. But I gave my thoughts on this already.
I am not a single issue voter, but if I was...abortion would be enough. Whichever party embraces the murder of the unborn with a whole heart has lost its way, IMHO. I know there are other issues of moral relevance (which is why I'm not a single issue voter) but the importance of this gets down-played when we mock single-issue voters. We're "ok" with killing babies folks. Think about it...the government upholds the "Rights of the Mother" over the "Right of Life". There's a problem there.
I am actually a believer in the idea of a republic versus a democracy. People are stupid. I don't want people having direct power. I want a shield between us and power. Yay electoral college!
I think national security can trump individual rights if the situation merits it. This doesn't mean I think there shouldn't be significant deliberation before that happens...but its a reality I think we need to remember.
Finally...I don't think its necessary to apologize to anyone for prosperity. Nor does that necessitate the responsibility to help those that refuse to acknowledge their own need. If we help those that cannot stand us...that's a good thing, maybe...but its not and shouldn't be expected.
So yeah. These are some of the reasons I come out as a Republican. Hopefully a little clarifying.
Friday, May 19, 2006
To prove to the doubters...
I took a political affiliation quiz for fun. Posting the official results does something weird to the format of my blog...but here's the copy of the official results of my quiz: I am...
Republican
100%
Anarchism
42%
Democrat
42%
Socialist
33%
Fascism
25%
Nazi
17%
Green
17%
Communism
8%
If you wanted to try it yourself...here's the link.
Republican
100%
Anarchism
42%
Democrat
42%
Socialist
33%
Fascism
25%
Nazi
17%
Green
17%
Communism
8%
If you wanted to try it yourself...here's the link.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Hail Theophilus (as was)...
I was driving to work the other night and my thoughts drifted to you old friend. How you are, even where you are, I do not know. But I prayed for you brother.
I wonder how we would have changed if we had seen this life we have grown into when we were still boys? I wonder if we could have avoided the pitfalls that caught us in our flight? Each failed attempt to soar reveals a truth about ourselves, but at a cost. I wonder if the cost was too much for you?
In many ways we were lost before we began this life. We've traveled the world but we've never known home. We came from families of love but did not fully understand enough of what made it work. And sometimes it didn't work. I wonder if your parents knew what they cost you?
I wonder, brother, how you fell? How you lost the love for the things of God that bound us together as brothers? I wonder when the allure of the world that tempted you lost its flavor...and was filled instead with the dull pitch of ash? I wonder if it ever did? I wonder if I should have gone to you, to try and rescue you? I wonder if you would have let me...I wonder if I would have followed you? Did I fail you?
I wonder if you can still hear that great music that made our souls soar in delight? I wonder if you can even remember the melody?
You are in my prayers brother. I miss your heart, and I miss your friendship. It is an unnatural thing, to create a bond of friendship and abandon it...unnatural, and yet the nature of this world. It is the nature of our lives. I pray to see you restored and healthy, to see you know the joy of a whole heart. I pray to see you find peace. I pray to be reunited in that friendship that was a joyful and blessed thing...in this world or the next.
Hail Theophilus (as was). You were my brother and my friend. I would have given my life for you gladly. May the Lord keep you as you go your way...until you turn once more to Him and find the peace you are looking for.
I wonder how we would have changed if we had seen this life we have grown into when we were still boys? I wonder if we could have avoided the pitfalls that caught us in our flight? Each failed attempt to soar reveals a truth about ourselves, but at a cost. I wonder if the cost was too much for you?
In many ways we were lost before we began this life. We've traveled the world but we've never known home. We came from families of love but did not fully understand enough of what made it work. And sometimes it didn't work. I wonder if your parents knew what they cost you?
I wonder, brother, how you fell? How you lost the love for the things of God that bound us together as brothers? I wonder when the allure of the world that tempted you lost its flavor...and was filled instead with the dull pitch of ash? I wonder if it ever did? I wonder if I should have gone to you, to try and rescue you? I wonder if you would have let me...I wonder if I would have followed you? Did I fail you?
I wonder if you can still hear that great music that made our souls soar in delight? I wonder if you can even remember the melody?
You are in my prayers brother. I miss your heart, and I miss your friendship. It is an unnatural thing, to create a bond of friendship and abandon it...unnatural, and yet the nature of this world. It is the nature of our lives. I pray to see you restored and healthy, to see you know the joy of a whole heart. I pray to see you find peace. I pray to be reunited in that friendship that was a joyful and blessed thing...in this world or the next.
Hail Theophilus (as was). You were my brother and my friend. I would have given my life for you gladly. May the Lord keep you as you go your way...until you turn once more to Him and find the peace you are looking for.
Monday, May 15, 2006
I can't move my arms...That's a good thing, right?
So I am working out once again.
Let me tell you, it feels good. Though its frustrating from time to time to think that I am only recovering ground I once owned easily, the satisfaction to finally be doing something quickly outweighs any discontent that would keep me from continuing.
It feels great to lift weights for an hour and feel my hands shake with adrenaline again. It feels good to go for a vigorous walk (I am not yet up to jogging...want to break my legs back in slowly, as this time I am determined NOT to injure myself in the process of getting back into shape...but I really want to run again, so God willing, that will come very soon). The smell of your own sweat can be a really satisfying thing. Odd, I know.
Let me tell you, it feels good. Though its frustrating from time to time to think that I am only recovering ground I once owned easily, the satisfaction to finally be doing something quickly outweighs any discontent that would keep me from continuing.
It feels great to lift weights for an hour and feel my hands shake with adrenaline again. It feels good to go for a vigorous walk (I am not yet up to jogging...want to break my legs back in slowly, as this time I am determined NOT to injure myself in the process of getting back into shape...but I really want to run again, so God willing, that will come very soon). The smell of your own sweat can be a really satisfying thing. Odd, I know.
Pinko Commie!
Psst...guess what? I'm a liberal.
Or at least, I've been accused of holding views "typical of liberals". And its assumed that all such ideas are bad things...and even I (and, let me assure you, I'm a fairly well rooted conservative) cannot bring myself to make that ridiculous equivalence.
Why am I so branded? Why so marked? Why, why WHY??!?!?
Because I suggested that refusing service to homosexuals on the basis that they are homosexuals is, in fact, bigotry.
GASP! SHOCK AND AWE!!! HEATHEN! No, WORSE...LIBERAL! LIBERAL!!!
Yes, well, its true.
The right to private property (which I DO think is a big deal) doesn't, I think, excuse bigotry--or it shouldn't. The government, to be both free and moral, has to provide some standard of protection for both the consumer and the business owner.
Now, dear reader(s?)--it might be ambitious to assume there's more than one of you out there--don't rush to assumptions. I DO believe that homosexuality is a sin. I don't think its the same as race or gender--I believe its a choice--but that doesn't matter. That is not how our society perceives it. Rather, homosexuals occupy the same place as other minorities and receive extra protection to make up for their pre-disposition to a life-style that separates them from the majority. Its what the majority of our country has decided. And since we live in a Republic, the opinion of the majorty matters above nearly all else. I suppose I could spend all my time arguing that this is unfair (which...I think it might be) but the very idea makes me tired.
If we're in battle for the soul of this nation, I want to outflank all of them and win the war, not engage in trench warfare over details about the positions the people I disagree with occupy in society.
Yet, even if our society didn't see homosexuality as the same sort of distinguishing attribute as gender and race, would even that matter? I have tried and am at a loss to discover the active harm the very presence of homosexuals accomplishes on our society. I disagree with them...I think they are living in sin...but they are hurting themselves, not me. Its a grievious sin...but their souls are the ones being devoured by it. What justification could there be for a free society to hate a group of people that are hurting themselves? Homosexuals are not fruitful--they cannot, on their own, reproduce. There's that...but this hardly seems a good reason to cut them off from society. Surely that problem carries with it its own consequence. In the end...refusing service because you just like someone is petty and should be something you learned to stop doing in grade school.
So now to the spiritual question; why is this the tactic (aversion and bigotry) several in the church seem to take? Why do we close the door instead of welcoming them in with open arms? I do NOT mean that we should ever suggest that what they do is fine and dandy...its a sin. But we associate with sinners all day everyday...how can they be won if all we ever say is "You're a sinner--ewwww!" and not "Jesus the Christ loves you and calls you to come and be forgiven and loved!" I realize that some will still perceive judgement in this sentiment (and there ARE Christians that do send this message and still get attacked as bigots)...but surely we stand to catch more fish with a message of properly mixed love and truth than one of only judgement. I say this as a person inclined to care more about truth than I care about love or peace...you cannot win souls without all three!
Father God have mercy on us. We are short-sighted and proud.
The other big argument I have heard against allowing homosexuals into our society as equals is that they bring with them moral decay...that they subvert good Christian morals and values with their presence. Well, to this I say this...where the hell are the Christians while this moral decay happens?!?!?! Are we such children that we cannot ALSO impact society? Is our faith and our God so weak that the presence of sinners ruins our opportunity to prove our witness? If this is the case, should we not pack up and call it a day? After 2000 years...if Christianity cannot survive genuine public debate today, how can we prevail?
When did we become so toothless? As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been teaching my kids about the "Enlightenment". I really am at a loss to explain to them why the church went from having the smartest people in the world to being whooped by the likes of the enlightenment thinkers. Where were our Thomas', where were our Dante's--where exactly did our offensive line go? Why did it take nearly 200 years before we got some intelligent, articulate and aggressive Christians to chip away at the facade that the faith had lost its grip on the *real* world?
Moody, Torrey, Chesterton, Lewis...we needed you and need you still.
Of course, I indict myself. Complacency is as bad as bigotry. So I write this down, in part to muster my thoughts and punctuate my arguments...and in part to call myself to account. May I live in disgraceful anonimity if I do not respond to my own challenge to confidently proclaim the truth of the Christ with love and a heart for peace.
So yeah...I guess I'm a bleeding heart liberal. Maybe my blog will get more traffic...you know the NSA moniters every liberal blogger out there. It was only a matter of time before I was outted. Lindsay, can you tell me where to get my new membership card? >:)
Or at least, I've been accused of holding views "typical of liberals". And its assumed that all such ideas are bad things...and even I (and, let me assure you, I'm a fairly well rooted conservative) cannot bring myself to make that ridiculous equivalence.
Why am I so branded? Why so marked? Why, why WHY??!?!?
Because I suggested that refusing service to homosexuals on the basis that they are homosexuals is, in fact, bigotry.
GASP! SHOCK AND AWE!!! HEATHEN! No, WORSE...LIBERAL! LIBERAL!!!
Yes, well, its true.
The right to private property (which I DO think is a big deal) doesn't, I think, excuse bigotry--or it shouldn't. The government, to be both free and moral, has to provide some standard of protection for both the consumer and the business owner.
Now, dear reader(s?)--it might be ambitious to assume there's more than one of you out there--don't rush to assumptions. I DO believe that homosexuality is a sin. I don't think its the same as race or gender--I believe its a choice--but that doesn't matter. That is not how our society perceives it. Rather, homosexuals occupy the same place as other minorities and receive extra protection to make up for their pre-disposition to a life-style that separates them from the majority. Its what the majority of our country has decided. And since we live in a Republic, the opinion of the majorty matters above nearly all else. I suppose I could spend all my time arguing that this is unfair (which...I think it might be) but the very idea makes me tired.
If we're in battle for the soul of this nation, I want to outflank all of them and win the war, not engage in trench warfare over details about the positions the people I disagree with occupy in society.
Yet, even if our society didn't see homosexuality as the same sort of distinguishing attribute as gender and race, would even that matter? I have tried and am at a loss to discover the active harm the very presence of homosexuals accomplishes on our society. I disagree with them...I think they are living in sin...but they are hurting themselves, not me. Its a grievious sin...but their souls are the ones being devoured by it. What justification could there be for a free society to hate a group of people that are hurting themselves? Homosexuals are not fruitful--they cannot, on their own, reproduce. There's that...but this hardly seems a good reason to cut them off from society. Surely that problem carries with it its own consequence. In the end...refusing service because you just like someone is petty and should be something you learned to stop doing in grade school.
So now to the spiritual question; why is this the tactic (aversion and bigotry) several in the church seem to take? Why do we close the door instead of welcoming them in with open arms? I do NOT mean that we should ever suggest that what they do is fine and dandy...its a sin. But we associate with sinners all day everyday...how can they be won if all we ever say is "You're a sinner--ewwww!" and not "Jesus the Christ loves you and calls you to come and be forgiven and loved!" I realize that some will still perceive judgement in this sentiment (and there ARE Christians that do send this message and still get attacked as bigots)...but surely we stand to catch more fish with a message of properly mixed love and truth than one of only judgement. I say this as a person inclined to care more about truth than I care about love or peace...you cannot win souls without all three!
Father God have mercy on us. We are short-sighted and proud.
The other big argument I have heard against allowing homosexuals into our society as equals is that they bring with them moral decay...that they subvert good Christian morals and values with their presence. Well, to this I say this...where the hell are the Christians while this moral decay happens?!?!?! Are we such children that we cannot ALSO impact society? Is our faith and our God so weak that the presence of sinners ruins our opportunity to prove our witness? If this is the case, should we not pack up and call it a day? After 2000 years...if Christianity cannot survive genuine public debate today, how can we prevail?
When did we become so toothless? As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been teaching my kids about the "Enlightenment". I really am at a loss to explain to them why the church went from having the smartest people in the world to being whooped by the likes of the enlightenment thinkers. Where were our Thomas', where were our Dante's--where exactly did our offensive line go? Why did it take nearly 200 years before we got some intelligent, articulate and aggressive Christians to chip away at the facade that the faith had lost its grip on the *real* world?
Moody, Torrey, Chesterton, Lewis...we needed you and need you still.
Of course, I indict myself. Complacency is as bad as bigotry. So I write this down, in part to muster my thoughts and punctuate my arguments...and in part to call myself to account. May I live in disgraceful anonimity if I do not respond to my own challenge to confidently proclaim the truth of the Christ with love and a heart for peace.
So yeah...I guess I'm a bleeding heart liberal. Maybe my blog will get more traffic...you know the NSA moniters every liberal blogger out there. It was only a matter of time before I was outted. Lindsay, can you tell me where to get my new membership card? >:)
Friday, May 12, 2006
Argh!
Interviews!!!
Trick Questions!!!
Waiting for the Call-back!!!
Feeling Sick and Hating Your Stupid Mind Which Bungles Trick Questions!!!
All this and more can be yours should you find yourself in my current position; namely, that of looking for a newer, fuller, sleeker job title (and the company that accompanies such a title).
Yes, well, it couldn't be avoided. I'm not actually dumb. Join me, won't you, as I sing; "I am smart. I am smart. S-M-R-A-T, S-M-R-A-T, S-M-R-doh!"
SO I turned in another application to ECCU. I really want to work for them. It would, so far as I can see, be the answer to prayer I have been looking for. Well, they hadn't called me back in response to my first application, so I wrote my friend that works there, Cynthe Macomber, and asked her advice. They had already filled that position, so she said I should give them a call and ask them to review my application. I filed a new one for another opening, and called them today. I had to get a call back, and the representative that called me back conducted a call screening right then and there.
Well, I was happy about that. The school I applied to teach at is getting ready to offer me a contract for next year, and though I'd love to work there, I need more money. So I have been asking that God move my application process quickly through any red-tape to allow me to know what I should do. So I am glad I got results.
Mostly, I think it went well. I think I talked easily with the rep. while not talking too much. Unfortunately, they asked that favorite application trick question: what areas do you think you need improvement in? Well, when that appears on a written application, you can take time to think about it. Obviously nobody says "I hate work" or "I can have a problem with all forms of authority" or "I don't know how to add" or "I can't stand waking up before noon"...even if those were true, nobody says those sorts of things--who wants to hire someone like that? Oh no--the answer to the trick question is usually answered with ridiculous self-deprication; "I work too hard" or "I need to learn that other people like to work too" or "I should go home before the security guard locks the doors" or "I probably should learn not to come so early that I keep scarying the receptionist" or "I just care too much about everything I do that I don't have anything left for 'me' and 'I' need time too". Stuff like that.
Well, when its asked point blank and you have 5 seconds to ready your response, it can be a sticky question. Finding the diplomatic answer is not always easy--sometimes I can roll one out with no prep time...but Aiden was being quite needy during this particular phone call, so I wasn't at my impromptu best...so I said that I like making sure that the jobs I do are done well, and sometimes that means I fail to properly organize my priorities. As an example, I referenced work at Starbucks, where, in the midst of handling 5-6 tasks during a rush, I might at times be distracted by the added task of cleaning as we go and have to work a little harder to catch the things I momentarily neglected while taking care of what might be considered a lesser priority. Sigh.
Now, I think I am actually a fairly good multi-tasker. I have had long experience at procrastinating, which serves as great practice in that area, and Starbucks is also a great place to practice your multi-tasking abilities. I think, in general, I am really good at it. But what did I chose to critique myself on? Was it my overwhelming desire to do too much excellent work (darn my incredible work ethic!)? NO! It was an area that I am actually fairly pleased with myself in. I was, if anything, too honest for my own good! I was a harsh critic during my own interview--the WORST time to start introspectively reflecting on REAL areas that might need SLIGHT tweaking. Sigh.
To make matters worse, as my interviewer was finishing up, he explained that the position I was applying for (handling Debit/Credit Cards) often involved a lot of multi-tasking, and that I should be aware of that possible challenge in my admitted area of need. ARGH!
I didn't know how to tell him that I wasn't really worried about my growth in this area--that I was being harsh to myself, that I could probably grow in other areas less directly related to the job I wanted. So I started praying that my stupid honesty wouldn't come back to stab me in the back.
I'm a good multi-tasker--I am playing with Aiden in the midst of writing this stinking post!
ARGH!!!
ARGH!!!
ARGH!!!
Oh well. He said he would give me a call at the latest by next Friday. Your prayers are coveted as they always are...even a little more for this particular situation, as a little more grace might be needed to help him see me in the best light. I really want this job, and I wouldn't lie to get it regardless...but there are long observed social, diplomatic avenues for being honest with your interviewer without shooting yourself in the foot in front of him. Sigh.
Trick Questions!!!
Waiting for the Call-back!!!
Feeling Sick and Hating Your Stupid Mind Which Bungles Trick Questions!!!
All this and more can be yours should you find yourself in my current position; namely, that of looking for a newer, fuller, sleeker job title (and the company that accompanies such a title).
Yes, well, it couldn't be avoided. I'm not actually dumb. Join me, won't you, as I sing; "I am smart. I am smart. S-M-R-A-T, S-M-R-A-T, S-M-R-doh!"
SO I turned in another application to ECCU. I really want to work for them. It would, so far as I can see, be the answer to prayer I have been looking for. Well, they hadn't called me back in response to my first application, so I wrote my friend that works there, Cynthe Macomber, and asked her advice. They had already filled that position, so she said I should give them a call and ask them to review my application. I filed a new one for another opening, and called them today. I had to get a call back, and the representative that called me back conducted a call screening right then and there.
Well, I was happy about that. The school I applied to teach at is getting ready to offer me a contract for next year, and though I'd love to work there, I need more money. So I have been asking that God move my application process quickly through any red-tape to allow me to know what I should do. So I am glad I got results.
Mostly, I think it went well. I think I talked easily with the rep. while not talking too much. Unfortunately, they asked that favorite application trick question: what areas do you think you need improvement in? Well, when that appears on a written application, you can take time to think about it. Obviously nobody says "I hate work" or "I can have a problem with all forms of authority" or "I don't know how to add" or "I can't stand waking up before noon"...even if those were true, nobody says those sorts of things--who wants to hire someone like that? Oh no--the answer to the trick question is usually answered with ridiculous self-deprication; "I work too hard" or "I need to learn that other people like to work too" or "I should go home before the security guard locks the doors" or "I probably should learn not to come so early that I keep scarying the receptionist" or "I just care too much about everything I do that I don't have anything left for 'me' and 'I' need time too". Stuff like that.
Well, when its asked point blank and you have 5 seconds to ready your response, it can be a sticky question. Finding the diplomatic answer is not always easy--sometimes I can roll one out with no prep time...but Aiden was being quite needy during this particular phone call, so I wasn't at my impromptu best...so I said that I like making sure that the jobs I do are done well, and sometimes that means I fail to properly organize my priorities. As an example, I referenced work at Starbucks, where, in the midst of handling 5-6 tasks during a rush, I might at times be distracted by the added task of cleaning as we go and have to work a little harder to catch the things I momentarily neglected while taking care of what might be considered a lesser priority. Sigh.
Now, I think I am actually a fairly good multi-tasker. I have had long experience at procrastinating, which serves as great practice in that area, and Starbucks is also a great place to practice your multi-tasking abilities. I think, in general, I am really good at it. But what did I chose to critique myself on? Was it my overwhelming desire to do too much excellent work (darn my incredible work ethic!)? NO! It was an area that I am actually fairly pleased with myself in. I was, if anything, too honest for my own good! I was a harsh critic during my own interview--the WORST time to start introspectively reflecting on REAL areas that might need SLIGHT tweaking. Sigh.
To make matters worse, as my interviewer was finishing up, he explained that the position I was applying for (handling Debit/Credit Cards) often involved a lot of multi-tasking, and that I should be aware of that possible challenge in my admitted area of need. ARGH!
I didn't know how to tell him that I wasn't really worried about my growth in this area--that I was being harsh to myself, that I could probably grow in other areas less directly related to the job I wanted. So I started praying that my stupid honesty wouldn't come back to stab me in the back.
I'm a good multi-tasker--I am playing with Aiden in the midst of writing this stinking post!
ARGH!!!
ARGH!!!
ARGH!!!
Oh well. He said he would give me a call at the latest by next Friday. Your prayers are coveted as they always are...even a little more for this particular situation, as a little more grace might be needed to help him see me in the best light. I really want this job, and I wouldn't lie to get it regardless...but there are long observed social, diplomatic avenues for being honest with your interviewer without shooting yourself in the foot in front of him. Sigh.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
"Enlightened"
I have come to the "Age of Enlightenment" in my fly-by overview of World History with my Middle Schoolers. As this is not a Christian school, I have had to be careful about explaining to them the changes of power and the conflict that arose as reason took the drivers seat for Europe's society. Specifically, that the decline of the power of the church that begun with the Reformation was completed (to a certain extent) with the "triumph" of the Age of Reason. That when science and reason became the property of men not devoted to the church, the church somehow lost its footing, and stopped bringing the heat to the world of intelligensia.
In short, I had to step gingerly around telling them that the world shifted drastically, and that Christianity (all spirituality really, but specifically Christianity) lost ground when the discussion of life moved from the church into the secular world. I think they understood the emphasis I was trying to give the matter, but I am not sure they understood until the very end.
At the end of the class, I saw they weren't quite getting it, and so I drew two words on the white board: God & Man. I said, "The leaders of the enlightenment essentially concluded that since there was nothing about God that we could "study" emperically with Reason or Science, we needn't worry about Him (here I crossed out the word "God) and focus entirely on "Man" (which I promptly circled)". All the kids gasped. Most of my class are Christian kids, although I do have a Muslim as well. All of them thought I had crossed a line, but I calmly explained that thiswas what the Enlightenment decided, and that they needed to understand the shift in society's focus.
One of them spoke up and said that since Man was created in God's image, studying man was studying God. I smiled and took a deep breathe (at this point I had about 30 seconds before I was releasing them from class...) and asked him what he meant. He was silent, so I suggested that God couldn't look like us--after all, we all look fairly different from one another. He said that God had five fingers...I asked him where they were. He said "In Heaven." I felt a little cruel at this point, but thought it was important that he understand the problem...so I asked him where heaven was. He had no answer. I nodded and said, "That's the problem guys...there was nothing the church could point to that "science" or "reason" could objectively study, and that's why people thought the church no longer had the answers."
I hope I did the right thing. They weren't happy with me because I was defending a position they really disagree with. Hopefully I'm not being the wrong kind of challenging teacher--removing their foundations and giving them nothing to fill the hole. I have to tred lightly these last few weeks of school...I won't see them again, I don't want to leave them having ruined their opinion of everything they knew before without any answers (or idea of where to get answers) for the new questions they are (hopefully) asking.
In short, I had to step gingerly around telling them that the world shifted drastically, and that Christianity (all spirituality really, but specifically Christianity) lost ground when the discussion of life moved from the church into the secular world. I think they understood the emphasis I was trying to give the matter, but I am not sure they understood until the very end.
At the end of the class, I saw they weren't quite getting it, and so I drew two words on the white board: God & Man. I said, "The leaders of the enlightenment essentially concluded that since there was nothing about God that we could "study" emperically with Reason or Science, we needn't worry about Him (here I crossed out the word "God) and focus entirely on "Man" (which I promptly circled)". All the kids gasped. Most of my class are Christian kids, although I do have a Muslim as well. All of them thought I had crossed a line, but I calmly explained that thiswas what the Enlightenment decided, and that they needed to understand the shift in society's focus.
One of them spoke up and said that since Man was created in God's image, studying man was studying God. I smiled and took a deep breathe (at this point I had about 30 seconds before I was releasing them from class...) and asked him what he meant. He was silent, so I suggested that God couldn't look like us--after all, we all look fairly different from one another. He said that God had five fingers...I asked him where they were. He said "In Heaven." I felt a little cruel at this point, but thought it was important that he understand the problem...so I asked him where heaven was. He had no answer. I nodded and said, "That's the problem guys...there was nothing the church could point to that "science" or "reason" could objectively study, and that's why people thought the church no longer had the answers."
I hope I did the right thing. They weren't happy with me because I was defending a position they really disagree with. Hopefully I'm not being the wrong kind of challenging teacher--removing their foundations and giving them nothing to fill the hole. I have to tred lightly these last few weeks of school...I won't see them again, I don't want to leave them having ruined their opinion of everything they knew before without any answers (or idea of where to get answers) for the new questions they are (hopefully) asking.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Can I Be a Witness
I have had the opportunity to work in the real world. No longer surrounded by only Christians, working at Starbucks is the most secular environment I have been in since I was in ROTC. As such, its making me reconsider some things.
For the most part, I get along just fine with my co-workers. Actually, they like me but leave me alone. And I don't think its just because they don't "know" me...its because they know I am a Christian...and have recently discovered I am a Republican. The combination baffles them I think, or at least, they are not eager to share their jokes and what not with me.
But we do talk. Not incessantly, or even always casually. I talk about social issues with them. We discuss politics (sometimes I bring it up, sometimes they do), and twice I've talked about my faith with two of them (they brought it up). I have recently begun to wonder if I am doing what I should be doing with my opportunities though.
For example, our milkman walked into the store the other day and saw me reading a book on my 10 minute break. He started talking with me about the kinds of books I read and that led to a discussion about life and eternity. Before I really knew what was happening, he was asking me if I was a Christian and if I had been baptised. He told me he had grown up catholic but had left that church because it was a bunch of perverts. Now he went to a Baptist church (I think) but he said that every week for Mormon ladies would come into his home and talk to him about the Book of Mormon. He asked me what I thought about that, and what I thought about what comes after death. I told him that I believed that the Bible tells us what happens after death--that if we believe that Jesus was the Christ and came to earth to die for us, and if we believe that He died and rose again, and if we recognize we're sinners and that He had paid the price for us and if we ask for forgiveness we can be saved. I told him that at that point, our responsibility is to live as the Bible tells us to live. And I said that that was the reason why I didn't believe the Mormons--because while the Bible was the word of God, the Book of Mormon was written by a man--just like Islam was founded by a man. And I told him that religions founded by men have problems. He agreed and said that there were some crazy and amazing things in the Book of Mormon. At this point, my 10 minute break had stretched into 15-20 minutes, and I needed to get back to work.
Now, about a week later, I am still wondering if I said what I should have said. I am wondering if I heard the words God would have had me say, or if I was reckless with my witness. More importantly, I am wondering if I should bring this up again and again when I see him. Talking to him on other occasions, I know that he enjoys some things that are not in any way good...so I wonder what I should do.
This is the question I have for all my co-workers. I admit, I have not lifted them up in prayer for their souls. Several of them use weed, one of them strips for money as a second job. I am not saying they're awful people...I like working with them and think I have a good group of people to work with...they are simply lost. Lost and I wonder if the Light that I know shines through me to them at all.
I get frustrated by certain customers (as do we all...), my language is not always what I would like it to be (it rubs off...same problem with the ROTC), and I talk more about politics than my faith. Am I failing my Lord? A message from church keeps coming to my mind, where the speaker challenged us to consider what the world would be like if Christians introduced themselves as Paul did in his letters to the church--always and only recognizing himself as a servant of the Christ, Jesus the Lamb of God. I wonder if I am too meek--am I too comfortable as I work with them to risk telling them who I am? A Christian. I wonder what that would look like...challenging them in love to consider their lives? Asking them why they do what they do and asking them if they fill joy as a result? Is that too judgemental? What should I ask them? Or should I just relate everything back to my faith...when they ask a question, should I answer them in light of gospel and say so?
Lord my words fail me. I am not the man for you I long to be. Let me stand as my father and mother have stood, proudly proclaiming Your name in this world with love for those they would bring to You.
I was listening to Chris Rice's song "The Power of the Moment" last night while working on a deep clean shift. He sings about the power of living for Christ in the moment instead of living vainly looking to tomorrow, considering making a mark in history. That is what I want. I want to abandon tomorrow while today is still here.
For the most part, I get along just fine with my co-workers. Actually, they like me but leave me alone. And I don't think its just because they don't "know" me...its because they know I am a Christian...and have recently discovered I am a Republican. The combination baffles them I think, or at least, they are not eager to share their jokes and what not with me.
But we do talk. Not incessantly, or even always casually. I talk about social issues with them. We discuss politics (sometimes I bring it up, sometimes they do), and twice I've talked about my faith with two of them (they brought it up). I have recently begun to wonder if I am doing what I should be doing with my opportunities though.
For example, our milkman walked into the store the other day and saw me reading a book on my 10 minute break. He started talking with me about the kinds of books I read and that led to a discussion about life and eternity. Before I really knew what was happening, he was asking me if I was a Christian and if I had been baptised. He told me he had grown up catholic but had left that church because it was a bunch of perverts. Now he went to a Baptist church (I think) but he said that every week for Mormon ladies would come into his home and talk to him about the Book of Mormon. He asked me what I thought about that, and what I thought about what comes after death. I told him that I believed that the Bible tells us what happens after death--that if we believe that Jesus was the Christ and came to earth to die for us, and if we believe that He died and rose again, and if we recognize we're sinners and that He had paid the price for us and if we ask for forgiveness we can be saved. I told him that at that point, our responsibility is to live as the Bible tells us to live. And I said that that was the reason why I didn't believe the Mormons--because while the Bible was the word of God, the Book of Mormon was written by a man--just like Islam was founded by a man. And I told him that religions founded by men have problems. He agreed and said that there were some crazy and amazing things in the Book of Mormon. At this point, my 10 minute break had stretched into 15-20 minutes, and I needed to get back to work.
Now, about a week later, I am still wondering if I said what I should have said. I am wondering if I heard the words God would have had me say, or if I was reckless with my witness. More importantly, I am wondering if I should bring this up again and again when I see him. Talking to him on other occasions, I know that he enjoys some things that are not in any way good...so I wonder what I should do.
This is the question I have for all my co-workers. I admit, I have not lifted them up in prayer for their souls. Several of them use weed, one of them strips for money as a second job. I am not saying they're awful people...I like working with them and think I have a good group of people to work with...they are simply lost. Lost and I wonder if the Light that I know shines through me to them at all.
I get frustrated by certain customers (as do we all...), my language is not always what I would like it to be (it rubs off...same problem with the ROTC), and I talk more about politics than my faith. Am I failing my Lord? A message from church keeps coming to my mind, where the speaker challenged us to consider what the world would be like if Christians introduced themselves as Paul did in his letters to the church--always and only recognizing himself as a servant of the Christ, Jesus the Lamb of God. I wonder if I am too meek--am I too comfortable as I work with them to risk telling them who I am? A Christian. I wonder what that would look like...challenging them in love to consider their lives? Asking them why they do what they do and asking them if they fill joy as a result? Is that too judgemental? What should I ask them? Or should I just relate everything back to my faith...when they ask a question, should I answer them in light of gospel and say so?
Lord my words fail me. I am not the man for you I long to be. Let me stand as my father and mother have stood, proudly proclaiming Your name in this world with love for those they would bring to You.
I was listening to Chris Rice's song "The Power of the Moment" last night while working on a deep clean shift. He sings about the power of living for Christ in the moment instead of living vainly looking to tomorrow, considering making a mark in history. That is what I want. I want to abandon tomorrow while today is still here.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Harry Potter...
I like Harry Potter.
Gryffindor! Fun-loving and ballsy down to the last detail, you follow rules when it's convenient for you and never turn down an opportunity to par-tay. You're loud, mischievous, and a little naive at times, but never let your awesome self-confidence waver. Like Slytherin, you too appreciate the finer things in life...just in a very...different way.
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A More Unique Hogwarts Sorting Quiz
Gryffindor! Fun-loving and ballsy down to the last detail, you follow rules when it's convenient for you and never turn down an opportunity to par-tay. You're loud, mischievous, and a little naive at times, but never let your awesome self-confidence waver. Like Slytherin, you too appreciate the finer things in life...just in a very...different way.
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Employment Woes
I would appreciate prayer for some decisions that I have made and may still have to make. As our lives continue to change with Sheri returning to school to finish her BSN, I have been working towards finding a job that will provide more for us while meeting certain requirements. Already I have had to turn down two jobs which I might have been glad to take had circumstances been different.
Currently I have two big applications I am waiting on (one with a Christian school, the other with ECCU), though only one of them would actually provide a living wage for next year...I'll leave you to guess which (heh). I would love to teach at the school--in many ways I felt that it would be a perfect fit for me. However, while looking at the needs of my family, its becoming less and less likely that its really feasible. However, I still have no idea whether I have another option, as the application process for ECCU is hardly a quick one. I am willing to do what it takes to make either job work, but it would be an answer to prayer if the road was a clear one, and honestly I would prefer to finally find one job that can cover our needs and compliment our lives.
Its an understatement to say that turning down jobs even as I pray for employment has caused me no small amount of stress, but I believe that God has led us in every step to this place. For that I am thankful and praise Him for His faithfulness.
Father God keep us every hour in You almighty hands. We trust you with our needs, for you have ever proven a faithful and gracious Lord.
Currently I have two big applications I am waiting on (one with a Christian school, the other with ECCU), though only one of them would actually provide a living wage for next year...I'll leave you to guess which (heh). I would love to teach at the school--in many ways I felt that it would be a perfect fit for me. However, while looking at the needs of my family, its becoming less and less likely that its really feasible. However, I still have no idea whether I have another option, as the application process for ECCU is hardly a quick one. I am willing to do what it takes to make either job work, but it would be an answer to prayer if the road was a clear one, and honestly I would prefer to finally find one job that can cover our needs and compliment our lives.
Its an understatement to say that turning down jobs even as I pray for employment has caused me no small amount of stress, but I believe that God has led us in every step to this place. For that I am thankful and praise Him for His faithfulness.
Father God keep us every hour in You almighty hands. We trust you with our needs, for you have ever proven a faithful and gracious Lord.
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