300

Wow.

Just...wow.

Looking forward to 2007!

Proselytize those Bears!

Sheri has been teaching Aiden to pray before going to bed. Though he doesn't quite get it, we think the lesson is definately making an impression...

You see, tonight, as Momma and Aiden prepared to go to bed, Aiden was sitting with Momma and he pointed to his bear on the bed. Momma let him go get it, and watched as Aiden held the bear's paws together (as Momma does with Aiden's hands) and mumble his half-speech to the bear, ending with his abrupt version of "Amen", and releasing the paws. Aiden then insisted on going out of the bedroom, collecting the rest of his several stuffed animals, and guiding them through their nightly prayers as well. He is currently sleeping with every stuffed animal that he owns, all of them covered with the prayers, such as they are, of our son.

Being a Dad is just a great, great thing. And, apparently, the stuffed bear population in our house will be baptized believers about the same time as Aiden.

Ah, school...

Sometimes grading a massive amount of papers throughout the dead of night can be...tiring. Alright; its always tiring.

Still, it is actually a lot of fun to see how these students of mine are responding already to instructions I gave them on their last assignments. The original assignment (a Precis on Mere Christianity) was not a great triumph for most of them. I am still having to reassure parents that everything is "ok" and that their children will survive failing a paper or two in order to become people that can write something worth reading.

And the proof is in the pudding, as they say. The reflection essays I am grading aren't exactly fantastic (though, I rush to admit, I was rereading some of my old Pull Questions from my second year in Torrey and, wow...they were not good at all...not at all...ick.) but they do show a development of thought already since their last papers. And that's encouraging. I am locked away in the Library for the night, without much variety in my reading material...but at least its getting better, and not worse.

And of course, grading affords me the opportunity to be the subject of speculation...am I susceptible to bribery? A question for the ages...

Wicked

I have been listening to the soundtrack of Wicked of late. And with my discussion on the nature of Good and Evil with my students fresh in my head...this is a lot of fun.

What is evil? Where does evil come from? How does one become wicked?

More importantly...how does one get tickets to New York to go see Wicked on Broadway?

**In the days since I started this post, I have discovered that Wicked is coming to L.A. this winter. So, maybe the cost of going to Broadway won't be as much as earlier anticipated...**

The power of The Way, The Truth, The Life

I love our church.

All debate about high church versus low church aside, God is worshipped there and I believe the hearts of the men and women there are open to be challenged to the life of faith. That's a good place to be...and I love it.

Today we talked in our Bible Study about the recent comments by the Pope about Islam. Now, while the question of whether or not the Pope was out of line, or should apologize is not something I want to discuss (I think what he said was perfectly within the realm of acceptable statements from the leader of a division of the Christian faith...mainly, that where Islam differs from Christianity is not good, and that Islam is not Christian...which one might think goes without saying, but...whatever...).

What I DO want to discuss is something else. The leader of our group this Sunday brought a recording from a recent interview with an Iranian pastor in Canada, formerly a leader in Hezbollah. I think that his conversion story and opinion of the God he now serves is something all Christians should hear...I only wish I had a link to the audio or a transcript. If I can track one down, I'll share it. But here are my thoughts on what was said.

His testimony was amazing. While in prison, he led fellow muslims in worship. One day he said that he knew the presence of God had come to him, even literally tapped him on the shoulder...and that rather than destroying him, this presence told him the truth of the gospel, a book the young man had never previously read. He spoke through the tears in his voice as he remembered what it was like to know that God was near, to actually hear this presence tell him that what he sought was not Allah, but The Way, The Truth, The Life--an idea unthinkable in Islam, but central to Christianity.

Then the interviewer asked this pastor's opinions on what was happening in Israel between the Israelis and Hezbollah recently. The pastor summed up the long question asked of him by asking if the interviewer wanted to know what he thought it would take to end terrorism in the world. He answered...the love of Christ.

The love of Christ will end terrorism.

This is so contrary to our thinking, I could not help but be challenged:
Peace through strength!
But that's the role of the state. We're the church, and an opposing idea in the world today is currently ready and willing to kill to spread their beliefs and challenge ours. Do we fight back?

No. We don't...or, we shouldn't. I am not, of course, a pacifist. If God had not had other plans, I would currently be serving our nation in the military. But since its become clear that that is not the road for me to walk...I have had to wonder how I can effect a change in this world, how I can try to bring about peace. And this pastor, who sought God truly and found The Way, The Truth, The Life...this pastor sees clearly the answer I have been seeking.

The love of Christ can change the world. Not end sin, not banish poverty, not eliminate death...this world must end--paradise is for the next life, not this one. But I wonder if we really remember that? If we lived as if that were true, and lived as if we believed that for this life, showing as many people as possible the love of Christ were the greatest joy and priority...would this world continue as it is today?

I think we must believe it could not. So why aren't we living such a life?

A Little Yeast

I have been involved in putting on an amateur production of Oscar Wilde's "An Ideal Husband" over these past few months. There are many themes being talked about throughout the play but, naturally, the political question that is raised in the play interests me immensely.

I wonder...is it possible to have a leader of men who has not compromised? If a leader has compromised, can he still be a good leader? Must a leader have the ambition to become the leader? Does that ambition translate into grasping for power that is not properly due to you? Power is a tricky thing...It exists, and a select few wield it. If you are a good man, but cannot get power without compromise, should you still try to get power? What about all the good you could do once you were in power--would that be negated by the initial sin it took to put you into a place that has power? Does political right and wrong boil down to the lesser of two evils? Does a political life involve sacrificing to maintain the ability to lead? If so, does that necessitate making certain sacrifices of one's personal beliefs in order to lead the nation at large? Does one indiscretion ruin a man for all practical purposes?

If so...why have a government at all? If not...what does that say about what we believe about right and wrong?

Its the craziest thing in the world to be immersed in Oscar Wilde's thoughts, and find yourself in Plato's Republic.

Fidelity

(Shake it up)

I never loved nobody fully

Always one foot on the ground

And by protecting my heart truly

I got lost in the sounds

I hear in my mind

All these voices

I hear in my mind all these words

I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart

And it breaks my heart

And it breaks my heart

It breaks my heart

And suppose I never met you

Suppose we never fell in love

Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft

Suppose I never ever saw you

Suppose we never ever called

Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall

Just to break my fall

Just to break my fall

Break my fall

Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better

Gonna get better

Better better better better

Better better better

I never love nobody fully

Always one foot on the ground

And by protecting by heart truly

I got lost

In the sounds

I hear in my mind

All these voices

I hear in my mind all these words

I hear in my mind

All this music

And it breaks my heart

It breaks my heart

Breaks my

Heart

Breaks my heart

~ Regina Spektor

My Country 'tis of Thee...

Sing, oh Muse...

I have spent most of this day trying to find the words. I have spent today trying to discover the best way to voice the thoughts that have been nearly bursting from my skull.

I am still not sure how to proceed.

I could follow the examples of others...and tell you where and what I was doing when our world changed. I could join still others in evaluating where we are now and what has changed for better or worse. I could give a defense of the path we have taken, I could argue for the path that still waits to be tread. I won't bother with those that would belittle it, or scorn its significance

But that doesn't seem fitting. Speaking of my memories seems so...small when one considers the epic events of 5 years ago. Talking policy seems too heartless, and even I get tired of fighting that fight.

So...what to do? How do I honor those innocent dead? How do I challenge us to stand with honor in the place of those that gave their lives for the victims? How do I urge us to grieve for those that have lost so much and are asked to give still more? How can I call us to demand that there be a reckoning for such violence? Can my voice even be heard crying for a real, meaningful peace?

No...in the end, I think I am just a hobbit, lost in the tumult of Middle Earth's great saga. So what can I say, let alone do, to pay homage to those heroes of this all-to-hero-less age?

In the end...I am at a loss in the face of trying to encompass it all...and all I can do is reflect on the life that I spent this day, five years after the disaster. Perhaps I could have done nothing better with my day than what I did do with it. I went to my job, and talked about how best to lead a discussion on Genesis, and why logic is important, and how wisdom is the knowledge of God and the source of life itself. I sat in on two and a half hours of discussion on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, and I drove my wife to a bible study. I honked my horn in support of the small groups of men, women and children I passed on my way to and fro, holding flags on street corners. I listened to radio tributes and songs dedicated to those that were lost...and teared up at traffic lights. I bought a bible. I behaved as (practically) only an American can, and as practically everyone should be able to behave. Can I do more?

My heart wants to rend and a song wells up in me; I feel I will shatter with the force of it, but I am no Emrys, no Wizard, no Elf, and I don't know the words...

Sweet land of Liberty, of Thee I sing!

There must be something said...to those that had their lives cut short by madmen 5 years ago, to those that gave their lives trying to save those that were doomed, to those that have given their lives since that fateful day trying to bring those murderers to justice and prevent them from being able to wreak death and destruction on innocent civilians...and of course, to all those that continue to stand for liberty and justice, and who walk the line for us every day and night...to those children of this nation of Free Men, I pay tribute. It may not amount to much...but I do pay you tribute, and I will continue to live the life of a civilian of a free land. I will sing of the land where ideas are discussed; where God is worshipped and men may live in peace with other men that they may never agree with. This country has its faults, God knows, but it is a blessed nation, one that has shed light on much of the world.

Even still, Come, Lord Jesus, Come. This world is growing darker with the hour, and we yearn to follow You to the Kingdom of Summer, to dwell in the light of Your face forever.

Pictures from our week with Kari Kipp

There we are, on our way to a semi-hike to a water-trickle.

It was a lot of fun, despite the less than spectacular ending

The German and myself.

All the men on this trip, together...and wading in the water-trickle.

The German and me enjoying the water-trickle.

Clearly a religious experience...Aiden...being cool.

Aiden, flirting with an engaged woman.

More flirting...with mud. Clearly having a positive effect...

Throwing rocks with Kari

Aiden with Paul.

And us.

More pictures from our week with Kari Kipp

The Orange County Fair = animals and hay
Animals, hay and Theresa
A group shot...with animals and hay...
I like being surrounded by attractive people...
See above caption...
Aiden versus Baby Goat!

If only that fence weren't there, it might have been a good match

Picture Time

You might think us cruel...except that he wanted to put the clips in his hair...

"I want to be a cowboy, ba-by"

There must have been a time in history when the definition of "hat" was up for debate. My son is clearly wanting to reopen that long dead discussion...and apparently he wants to do so via cell-phone.

We had a picnic...ants came...it was very exciting.

Awwww--we so cute.

"I come in peace!"

This is why moms are heroes. They go right into the line of fire...for a picture.

Yes?

Privacy issues...

A Note From Your Contributor

This blog has been editted to reflect better judgement and the influence of a very sensible wife. We, the management, hope that our previous post has not offended anyone too much and hope that you continue to read our "Blog". Thanks, and have a nice day.

Must...Focus...

I have had a long day. Tomorrow will be longer. 17 hours, roughly.

But right now, I am in the library, listening to lectures by the good Doctor, and trying to complete proofreading exercises.

And as much as I want to finish the exercises...I cannot seem to finish a paragraph. I did just finish a shift at Starbucks, so the caffeine might have something to do with it. I don't usually have things with caffeine while working anymore...it kept keeping me up till 1 and 2 in the morning...which is hard when Aiden wakes up by 5:30, 6 in the morning.

Sigh.

On a slightly fun note...though it wasn't the dramatic liberating moment I was anticipating, I have apparently turned in my two week notice at Starbucks. I hadn't realized that I had done so...but thats fine with me. No more coffee for me. I am actually not on the schedule after this week. So its time, finally, to get another extra job. A couple hours of tutoring history or something of that nature. But no more Starbucks!

Waiting on the World...

to Change?

Sigh.

John Mayer has captured one of the central flaws of my generation in a song.

Seriously...Sigh. I am depressed everytime I think about this song--which is unfortunate, because musically its quite nice. But the lyrics that are oh-so-easy to sing-a-long with are...evil. That's right...evil...EeeeeVIL ("pinky finger to the lip" evil).

Alright...I'll retract the "EVIL" branding. The lyrics are not diabolical. They're just kinda sad and pathetic. And its receiving the sort of buzz that old rallying songs used to receive--like the Beatles' Revolution.

"it's not that we don't care, we just know that the fight ain't fair"

I mean, what is that? The only hopeful part about the stupid song is that this is the tried and true way to NOT impact the world...so hopefully my kids will be running things and John Mayer's kids will be singing songs about them for years to come.

Apathy--the new rejection of the system!

I hope that John Mayer is being cleverly ironic; singing a song about how the world behaves--and challenging it by singing a song "lauding" its vices...but I don't have much hope for that kinda of clever song-writing.

A Good Action

I am taking part in this, as are others.

If you have the time I would encourage you to involve yourself in this. Perhaps our words don't matter very much in the grand scheme...but there is value in stopping to remember those slain innocents.

Why is History Important?

We had our first "High Table" session this past Tuesday. The "High Table" references the tradition at Oxford and, essentially, its where the Dons sit. Its the High Table, and the students sit at the regular tables. Well, our High Table draws on that tradition, because its for us, the teachers; notably our time at the High Table is not just meal-time, but is a session for us, the tutors.

Its a lot of fun.

This time we talked about Genesis. Mr Bartel led it, and the question he asked was a variation of the question I asked in the title of this post...What is the point of memory?

Now...recreating our discussion would be neither interesting or helpful. But it was, I think, a worthwhile question...and I keep thinking about it over 24 hours later--which is always a good sign.

So...why is memory important? What is the point of history? I can (and did) give the typical historian's reason for the importance of history...but why do we want to keep what happened so long ago fresh in our minds? Why does God make that important (there are numerous references to the heritage of Faith and the history of God's faithfulness throughout the Scriptures)?

Ultimately...why do we want to know our history?

I know what you're thinking; "Chris, I don't want to know our history...its boring and I have better things to do."

I say that's a bunch of bunk. You have been taught wrong. Your teachers have failed you, and you should file a complaint. Better yet, read more and go back and teach in their place--so that your children won't be ruined like you were ruined. But I digress.

You DID and probably still actually DO want to know your history. Why do I know this to be true? Because, unless you're truly braindead and insulated from all society, you go to the movies, you watch TV and you read books. Why do you do these things?

Is it because you literally have nothing better to do with your time? With the exception of reading books, that's patently false.

Or perhaps you think that you are drawn to these stories for some inane reason, that stands alone, unconnected with the rest of humanity, time, space, etc? That's also quite wrong.

No--you interact with those stories because you want to know. You want to touch the stories that tell us who we are and what we are becoming. And that is exactly what history is--you just don't know it yet.

You go in search of those stories because when you see Tom Hanks pinned down on that beach in Saving Private Ryan you feel something stirring inside you that touches something you don't quite understand...but whether you know it or not, it connects you with the men that endured that awful morning. They were men, and you are man (in the genus sense). And when you hear their stories...you begin to perceive a little bit of your place in time, space, etc. You connect--and that matters almost more than anything else. In connecting you are reaching into the soul of humanity...and in the soul of humanity vaccum left by our separation from God. There resides the question that moves all other questions. When you delve into these stories, or better still into history itself, you hit upon a direct line to your heritage as Adam's offspring...and you connect once again to the ancient relationship between Creator and creation.

If that's not worth studying...I don't know what is.

Por Que?

Yes, the question is..."Why?"

Why...why do we spend the months before the child arrives "child-proofing" our home with little extra latches and locks on all sorts of things he is not supposed to get into, because they will kill, maim, cripple, poison, or generally cause harm to him. And now, though his inability to discern what objects/chemicals represent a true threat to his person has NOT increased, one of his toys is a lock and latch board...with various locks and latches for him to play with and learn to handle.

So...we spend money buying locks and latches. And now, we are teaching him to make those locks and latches a waste of time and money. Why?

I think my wife was just trying to make it harder for me to open cabinets in my house.

I know I've said it before...

but my job is great.

No, seriously, my job is incredible.

We are only doing orientation stuff and I am wildly excited about this job. How many job's orientation weeks involve hours of discussions on the nature of education, the importance of the tripartite soul, and the value of self-examination/critical thinking, etc.? Haw many work places are filled with people that care passionately about the subjects of their labor?

I used to think those questions were cheating. Obviously discourse is not central to every job, but surely people don't settle into jobs that they are either indifferent towards, or even despise, I thought to myself.

Oh, my naive self.

But now...wow, do I have a good job. I'm happy.

Being Dad

Its ironic.

Aiden has been a real trooper. He's been lugged halfway to kingdom come by two crazy parents experimenting (from his point of view) with all the possible ways they can mess with his sense of a schedule. They have been quite successful, stretching him to the very limits. He has had some meltdowns along the way, but overall, he's been amazing. The hardest part has been sleeping.

For some reason, he can actually fall asleep...until we come to bed. And then he wakes up. And he cries. He won't stop crying. And he stiffens and arches and cries. Its not pretty.

But it is ironic.

Well, tonight is the night before I go away for a week to try and love kids whose parents were too selfish to love their own children. I will be the first to admit that when its 1 a.m. and I should have gone to sleep a couple hours ago and Aiden decides to declare WWIII, I am not often happy. But...tonight...it was a little different. Now, to be clear: I am not a saint (as if that needed saying); but it occured to me as he began to cry and I realized that sleep was not to be quite yet...how can I love other people's kids in the hard times if I cannot love my own during his? I need to be patient with him and find out what's wrong with him...not merely get mad and go sleep on the couch to avoid his moments of crying (something I frequently do actually do).

So I have been sitting with a kid who is (thank God!) not crying, but won't let me put him down for about half an hour now. He's just holding me...as if that was the reason he was crying to begin with; he wasn't where he belonged, in Daddy's arms. And in a sense...that's true. He wasn't, and now he is...and things aren't so bad afterall.

Being a Dad can be tough...I have never been as tired as I have perpetually been over the last two years...but there are undeniable perks.

Royal Family Kids' Camp

I will be gone this week, working at the Royal Family Kids' Camp hosted by our church. In the meantime, my family will be enjo-I mean struggling with my absence. So please keep them in your prayers. Sheri is getting ready to return full-time to the nursing program (year two) at Biola, and is very excited about getting geared up for that...and it would be easier to do that if she weren't flying solo for the week before classes start. Aiden is gearing up to run around the house and have a great time...and it will probably be easier to make messes now that there aren't four hands/eyes/feet etc to prevent him from wreaking havoc. Seriously though, just keep them in prayers, if you would, that they will be safe and have a really great week together. And if you remember me, pray for me. I have been sick this last week, and this coming week looks to be rather tiring. Pray that I can stay healthy and be energetic for the kids, and that the kids themselves will be touched by the love of Christ throughout the week.

Thanks all.

El Gran Tiburón Blanco

I have a sort of...morbid fascination? with sharks. And recently, I have had the opportunity to watch some documentaries on Great Whites. I am creeped out and awe-struck all at once.

I believe, almost actually, that I will die by shark...if only because I am more afraid of sharks than almost anything else on the earth. Not wimpy afraid, a a girl and a spider...I am just in awe of how fantastically lethal a Great White Shark is.

One of the highlights of my life was seeing a Great White Shark (lets face it, the Celebrity of the Shark world) face to face...with a very important, and thankfully very thick piece of glass between us. She was like nature's version of a stealth bomber. You could see her when she was directly in front of you, and then she would disappear once she had passed even a few feet away...only to glide back into your line of site a few moments later. The other fish didn't disappear. Just the Great White. And the symmetry of her lines...I have never seen anything so deliberately built for hunting and killing. There were other sharks in the tank with her...they looked like regular fishes in comparison to the Great White. It was amazing.

I loved it...but I cannot understand the guys that go out (as the guys in the documentary did) and stand in a little motor boat throwing blood and meat into the water, and using a stick or a line to tempt Great Whites to get right up next to their miniscule boat and start thrashing. Crazy. Insane. Remember the famous line? "We're going to need a bigger boat." I watched two crazy people do their best to tempt the most lethal creature in nature as it tore a 500 lb seal to ribbons. The shark was over two tons! And their cameras captured the whole thing...the seal is just floating around, looking for something...the water looks nice enough...and then, from beneath the seal, a dark shadow starts to appear...and by the time you can make out exactly what it is...its too late. Death has literally just swam up and eaten you. Yeah, I wanna go out in a dingy and take pictures of THAT. Crazy!

I can imagine the discussion on one of those boats...they're talking to the camera..."Observe the shark, stalking its prey...so naturally capable of killing it seems effortless. It stalks the deeps, nature's Stealth Bomber of the depths...(psst, Larry...the Shark is getting a little too close to the camera...) See the ultimate predator as it rips into its victim, its awesome jaws sawing through thick layers with an efficiency not seen anywhere else in nature...(Larry...now he's getting too close to the boat...pssst--Larry...start the engine! No gas? The shark bit the propeller and now it won't spin?...he's left the seal...what's he doing?) See the shark abandon his kill, seemingly interested in something els...!(Larry...why is the shark moving back towards the boat? Larry?!?!) *crash* See how the shark explores the intruders to his domain...(What do you mean "there's water in the boat"? What?!? The Shark has cracked the hull of the boat? *crash*)" A new voice finishes the segment..."See the shark as he re-establishes his complete dominance of the sea, conquering even those land dwellers reckless enough to tempt fate and the shark with their lives..."

Yeah...I wouldn't be in that boat. Still, I am convinced it'll be sharks that finish me off in the end...With my luck, I'll end up eating some Shark soup at a restaurant some day and choke to death...and prove myself a rather ironic prophet. At least my tombstone can read:

"Christopher Leigh; Husband, Father, Son. Death by Shark"

The crisis of reality...

Sad day, really. The political world was getting all geared up for a regular rhetoric hoedown. The talking points were ready, and history and fact were all limbered up to be distorted past recognition...and then those pesky terrorists had to go and validate everything!

The only question I have is this...how can a political party survive when this is how they behave when a moderate leader of their party (a man who was actually a VP candidate only 6 years ago!) cannot keep the support of his home base, but instead loses to a proclaimed supporter of appeasement and inaction? Its almost as maddening as Mike Wallace's revealed lack of moral conscience...apparently, if a madman is interesting enough, the situation changes.

Here's my real problem; we need a second voice. We need a debate. We need a left to my right. But the people leading today's Democratic party are insane. They have no depth perception...they are shallow and simple-minded fools that attribute everything to greed and believe everything can be solved if only we redistribute enough wealth. They cannot grasp the concept of people willing to destroy the world over an idea! There are strands of the old debate in that thinking, but the problem is the old Left did understand that social reform was only part of the answer: sometimes force is required. FDR got it. Truman got it. Kennedy even got it (to some extent--the Cuban Missle Crisis was his moment in the sun). Carter, Clinton, Gore, Kerry, et al; they don't get it. Some on the right seem to want to embrace Lieberman as if he was the long lost son of the Republican party--he's NOT, but at least he's a balanced Democrat who has a healthy perspective of the way the world is presently. Cutting him out is a message to the rest of the Democratic party--and to the nation: the Liberal Left no longer has a handle on the reality of the situation, and they cannot be trusted with the leadership of this nation. They will allow desperate men enough room to grow until we can no longer challenge them without cataclysmic results.

Beware America. I know I sound dramatic...but this is one of those delicate, dramtic moments in history where the wrong choice in something as trivial as a national debate can cost the world a price too high to pay.

High on Life!

A little extreme I suppose...I sound like one of those insane inspirational speakers, or something.

But I am notably better tonight than I was last night.

You see, I hate being sick. And last night...I was sick. Fever of 102, aching pretty much everywhere...I wished I was dead. Being sick doesn't reflect well on me...it makes me seem...ill.

I much prefer this current state. Wide awake at 2 AM and wanting to post on my blog, watching history documentaries on Churchill and Roosevelt. Much preferable to wishing I could disappear into the folds of my couch just so I would stop feeling the way I felt.

Of course...I could probably avoid being sick if I went to bed now. I leave with this final thought...Churchill was a giant to Roosevelt's ant-like character. Governments trade in PR but could become legendary if they affected real change. And late night television is unique in its ability to be simultaneously interesting and inane.

See...I get a new job, I like my life a little more...I start blogging more. Now if I get more readers...I might start believing I got the job because the world needed my blog. And they do...oh they do...

Wow...I'm tired...

Crash

Wow.

I had heard it was a good movie on the issues of racism and prejudice. I had no idea it actually WAS a good movie on those issues.

It was fantastic. So broad in its scope...so deep in its details. Just a really great film, with complex irony and level upon level of introspection.

I probably sound lame...but it was refreshing to see such a great representation of the problems that really DO affect us on a day to day basis. There is racism, as Crash presents it, everywhere and at work constantly. This is because we all work with people different from ourselves...and specifically when it comes to the issue of race, we have prejuidices in mind that we must decide to overcome (if we are to be good people) or are influenced by (if we allow our natural inclinations to rule us). There is a reason mankind divided when God introduced differences into the equation. We don't like to understand those that are not like us.

But the thing I think I saw best represented in Crash was the nature of racism. Racism comes about as a result of all those other issues (prejudices, stereo-types, history, etc). But at the moment, when the man or woman is acting on those racist emotions...he or she is not so different from any other bad man or woman committing an offense against another person. The only difference is the racist has, as his reason for acting against the specific individual he is acting against, race as a motivating factor. Still there are degrees of racists. They do not automatically become that special type of racist that would put entire races into concentration camps. The average racist is merely a man behaving badly towards a person or people of a particular race that he has (for one reason or another) decided is inherantly less good as a result of being "that race" (clearly a fool's opinion...but that's what a person acting on racism is...a fool--or at least, foolish).

The really interesting thing is...this reveals just how universal racism can be. These predispositions are everywhere. Its nearly impossible to avoid...because we ARE different, and when people differ from each other, they notice those differences and attribute problems to the presence of differences (whether there is a relation or not).

I don't know. I realize that this is a jumble of thoughts. I really appreciated the movie and I think that if the discussion on the issues of race were approached with a better understanding (an understanding akin to the understanding that I think the makers of Crash have) we would get further in bridging the gap between our differences.

You just wish...

...that you had my job.

Admit it.

You envy me.

Its understandable.

A beautiful wife.

An amazing son.

Devilish good looks.

Rapier-like wit.

Roguish charm.

I can hear you now; "Why does Chris get all the good stuff?" you ask yourself, bitterness welling up inside you. Shame on you.

Well, let me tell you--though all of the above is true, not everything is easy, even for me. I live in a small, old, and rather rundown apartment (despite our best efforts to make it home...we succeed, but since we can make this place comfy, just think about what we could do with a nice place!) I drive a gas guzzling, frequently broken Kia Sportage...and its white. And, I do live in a parking lot city, which has been forced into existence by man, though nature never intended a city to reside here.

For a while now, I would have been able to add the fact that I, a grown up by most estimations (based, if not on my youthful good looks and energetic enthusiasm, then on my current status in life) work with mostly kids making coffee. Sigh. It was a huge chink in my armor, a glaring fault in the midst of dazzling perfection...that's me.

But no more. I got a full-time new job...teaching...great...books.

That's right.

I read and talk for a living. I read things like LOTR and Mere Christianity. And talk. Hmmm...yeah, there's not much of a downside to that (grading papers not withstanding!)

I guess I cannot blame you for envying me. I envied me until I got this job.

This is so cool!

Coolest Starbucks Moment Ever

I have been meaning to relate this...its one of those moments that you have to hold on to, to keep you from going nuts in the midst of making 4000 Carmel Fraps a night...

So, we have this regular named Nick. Orders a Iced Venti Vanilla Latte, with 4 shots and whipped cream. As with all regulars, I like to be generous and also like to chat from time to time. One night, during the recent crazy heat wave, he came in, ordered the usual, and while waiting for his drink, I noticed that he had a cigar in his shirt pocket. We were talking, and he said that he enjoyed sitting, on occasion, outside, drinking his coffee and smoking a cigar. I said that, yes, that's good way to spend an evening, and that was the end of our discussion.

Couple weeks later...

Another, quite similar night, Nick the regular walks in and orders his usual. I am once again on the bar, and so I masterfully put his drink together. While I am topping it off with whipped cream, he asks me if I enjoy cigars. I say, yes, I have enjoyed them when I have smoked them (which is rare, but I have enjoyed them every time). He reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out an extra cigar and hands it to me, and tells me that he remembered talking with me and that I had mentioned how nice it was to sit, drink coffee and smoke a cigar--so he brought an extra to give to me! How cool is that?

I have the cigar sitting on my desk, waiting for the day I turn in my notice at Starbucks. Oh, and its coming soon!

New Job, New Times

So...

Sooooo...

My how plans can change. God has an interesting way of...shall we say...adjusting our plans as we go.

I have been hired on full-time as a tutor at the Torrey Academy, which functions under the STAR program at Biola University.

This is, really, a dream come true. I actually get to make a living reading books and talking about them. Not much of a living...it is, after all, Christian education, but a living nonetheless. My first full salary position (i.e. not paid by the week or hour, but by on a 10 month schedule).

The only down side, and it really is difficult for me to do, is that I have to resign my position at Santa Fe Springs Christian Middle School.

It is a disappointment...of a interesting nature. I was very much looking forward to the chance to work at that school. Still, I love this new job I have, and I have no doubt it will be ultimately incredibly fulfilling. I just feel bad about having to leave that school with only two weeks before the semester starts to fill that position.

Sigh.

Thank you Lord for the gift of this new job!

Been Busy

My last post was hardly an uplifting thought (though, of course, brilliant in its analysis). Unfortunately, I've been busy and the news has been anything but uplifting.

But, I was busy doing cool stuff, and since I am finally done with all that was happening in the last week, I thought it would be nice to finally post about it...Aiden permitting...

***Aiden did not permit...which is why this post, officially created on the 3rd of August is being posted on the 5th.***

So, what have we been up to? Well, we went to a wedding of good friends. They haven't risen from the private state of the newly married bliss (and good for them I say!), so the link does little more than point you in the direction--there's no update.

But while attending that wedding interesting things began happening. Our car decided that we had enjoyed too easy a time with it, having just dropped another $500+ on it, and the compressor for the AC went out. The wedding was in Fresno, during the worst heatwave of this Summer. The temperature in the shade was over 110 degrees, in the sun it felt like you were in an oven. More dear friends came to our rescue (we wouldn't have endured the trek to the wedding if not for their generosity) and lent us their new Toyota Camry. It was a nice ride. The outside world was burning in hell, but we were cruising inside in fantastic cool air, in a very comfortable car.

While out there, we stayed with another dear friend and her family, and as odd as it might sound...sleeping for a night at their house was the closest thing Sheri and I had enjoyed to a getaway vacation pretty much since the October before Aiden was born (well, there was the Christmas after he was born...I am not sure if I count that or not, but its still been about 2 years). 2 years! I cannot stress enough...getting away, even if its not the Ritz, is everything. We stayed in a normal home, ate normal food and did nothing much in particular...and I felt more rested and relaxed coming home to L.A. to go and work that night than I had in nearly 2 years. We are, needless to say, grateful for the haspitality of both a car and a room. They may seem like little things, but we have revived in no small part due to that mini-break of a day and a half outside of the ordinary.

Also, while we were on our mini-break, we managed to visit Saquoia National Forest and see the giant trees. Amazing. Really almost a holy place. God has done some amazing things with this world.

Then, about half a week after that adventure, we embarked on another. A friend from the past (how exciting does that sound?) came to visit us. We hadn't seen her in 6 years, but Kari Kipp is as wonderful as ever, and we had a great week with her catching up and essentially tiring ourselves out as much as possible. We hiked to a "waterfall", otherwise known as the trickle at the end of the trail aka Millard Falls in Altadena, we went to the OC Fair, to Crystal Cove State Beach, to Balboa Island, to San Louis Obispo, to W.R. Hearst Beach, to Pismo State Beach (tried camping...too much sand, too much wind...still got sand pretty much everywhere...), to Cambria, and a few other places. It was a full week. We literally couldn't manage to get up and go anywhere the last day...we were too tired. We had a lot of fun. We hung out with one of my good friends a couple of times, and generally just did as many fun things as we could manage.

We did so much stuff that at the end of the week...all of us were sick. Good times.

So yeah, that's what's been keepin me from the computer and blogging...real life. And its been good. I have become convinced that the surest way to go mad is to NOT plan a regular occasion for walking in the woods. I have also decided that I WILL immerse myself in something NOT related to the city on at least an annual basis...it was too good not to go back.

Support Israel!

I have been trying to figure out how best to make a comment about the current situation in the Middle East. I am too tired to give too many defenses of what I feel is the obvious course of action for our nation (and for any nation that would live free). But a couple of days ago, a friend asked a question that I did attempt to answer, and since then I haven't found a better way of approaching the issue. So, here is his question (in italics) and here's my answer (in plain text).

Palestinians on T.V. and Americans at home are asking two questions:
1) What exactly constitutes the distinction between criminal, terrorist, and enemy soldier?

Criminals...that's a tricky question. A good definition of an illegal enemy combatant would be someone that did not recognize or fulfill any of the conditions that confer legal status to combatants. A good question to ask when deciding if someone is defined as a criminal and law breaker is: with regard to which legal issues? Its hard to use legal labels on people that contest the basis of various systems of laws. Technically, if they never agreed to enter into the legal contract, and their nation never agreed to enter into a legal contract and recognize certain common laws...are they criminals? Hard to say. They aren't breaking laws they have agreed (even tacitly) to adhere to. At a certain point, most people seem to say, whether you agree or not, there is a rule of law and operating outside of it constitutes an illegal action, and whether you recognize the power of that law or not matters very little.

Terrorists could be summarized as being non-conventional combatants that target non-combatants, if not solely, than at least primarily, with a variety of potential end goals. That said, there terrorists and then there are terrorists. Domestic terrorists work against their nation's governmental system--again, targeting in a deliberate fashion non-combatants. International terrorists work against other nation's governmental systems, usually apart from their own nation's forces and targeting non-combatants with their efforts.

I would note that this would eliminate the suggestion that Washington and crew fall into the category of "terrorists". Being *unrecognized* doesn't make you a terrorist...its attacking civilians that makes you a terrorist. Guerilla warfare is often associated with terrorism, because guerillas don't use conventional warfare...but I think there is a definite distinction between guerillas and terrorists.

Enemy soldiers are conventional soldiers of a state. I think the key term is soldier...to be a soldier implies actual enlistment in a formalized military. Generally they wear uniforms. Certainly their actions can be attributed to the decisions of the state.

I would classify members of al Qaeda and Hezbollah as terrorists. They operate primarily against civilians, with political aims as their end goal. They are not guerillas. They are not enemy soldiers. They are illegal combatants/criminals.

2) What are the roles and rules for American/coalition/Israeli forces operating against the combatants listed in question 1?

Well, our policy should be fairly straightforward. To not support Israel would be a disastrous back-flip in the face of serious confrontation of our official international policy, to say nothing of catering to what can only be considered terrorists whilst turning our backs on one of our staunch-est allies. The terrorists have as an end goal a plan that will launch the widest spread conflict since WWII. With Iranians and Syrians supporting the fighters in Lebanon, if Israel does what it is prepared to do, the entire Middle East becomes a shooting gallery. We must side with Israel, purposely and pre-emptively, so that everyone knows that we're ready to go to the mattresses over this. Appeasement will not avert disaster...stating clearly that we stand ready to go to war over Israel's right to defend itself from terrorists just might though.

There's a lot in play with this situation. Our international policy, via the Bush doctrine, has shifted to one of pre-emptive intervention should the need arise to maintain our security and peace. A war in the Middle East constitutes a serious problem. More than that, I wonder how long any amount of meetings with French diplomats will prevent Iran from pushing the nuclear envelope if they are gearing up for an all out conflict with Israel, as the Iranian president has repeatedly stated he is ready and waiting to do.

China and Russia support Iran. N. Korea is hardly in need of an excuse to position itself against our allies. Pakistan doesn't like Israel, and they are also nuclear. Its no secret that the Middle East is only waiting for a spark to explode. It doesn't help that, even after Israel has withdrawn from the Gaza Strip and conceded quite a lot to people that use terrorism tactics, the attacks don't stop. Defenders of free societies should be united against anyone that stands against Israel right now.

As to your question about how to deal with terrorists and how they can be "brought to justice"...I would say this...terrorists can be captured and held accountable to the laws of the wider international community. More importantly, the states that complacently tolerate or encourage and actively sponsor terrorists can be held accountable to legal standards of the international community. I think more needs to be done than that, since the legal consequences of breaking the rules of the international community usually amount to sanctions...but it can be done. I think our approach to Afghanistan and Iraq is a great example of the way to handle nations with ties to terrorism. Both were handled legally, and we chose to use the resources available to us to see to it that the law was upheld (something most nations don't care to do...)

I am man....hear me roar!

Lately I have read 10 minutes of GK Chesterton's Everlasting Man every night at work. Its wonderful. It makes me feel civilized. It makes me feel sane. It makes me feel...like a man.

Not feel masculine...I don't need help with that. No; it makes me feel like a man.

HuMan.

To Reason...or Not.

"Regardless, he's still a jackass."

I was completely shocked. How can anyone be comfortable living in a world where their summation of an argument is something so concise and final as the dismissive "Regardless, he's still a jackass." Not an answer. Not a counter-argument. Just dismissal.

Regardless.

Hmph.

I have heard of these types of people...but this was my first personal encounter. I revealed to yet another person in my workplace that I am, indeed, a Republican. This was greeted with forseeable distaste, and then Bush-bashing. "That man is the worst President ever--he's a jackass!" Summarizing the war as a family thing, all about oil, etc. They laughed at the suggestion that WMD had actually been found...I chuckled and said...but they have been. Chemical weapons that were illegal for Saddam to possess. Found...apparently found a while ago...I admit, I have no idea why that didn't make a larger wave 3 years ago, but that doesn't change the fact--they were found. I told them that those were great talking points, but that they had very little to do with reality. They were ready for me--they asked how I knew anything; they asked, you know, if I knew anyone in politics?!?! I smiled...and asked if they had any proof that those talking points had merit. They looked confused...and dismissed me. Insults and dismissal.

Regardless.

Hmph.

Its not an uncommon tactic apparently. I have suspected as much, but there are suddenly plenty of great examples of bitterness and ignorance overshadowing the facts...especially as more and more facts turn up that suggest that perhaps the momentum to impeach the President isn't quite as well founded as some might have thought.

Now...I could go into a rant about this or that political idea...but I'm not going to. That there are people that disagree with me without reason is hardly a new thought...and I would rather use my time discussing things with people with reason that disagree with me--at least then we might grow in the process.

The thing I am most shocked by is this realization...people really don't want to learn and discuss actually the ideas that divide us. They want to avoid those ideas. They don't want to discuss things that matter with truth...they want to hear the things they want to hear...and hearing something they don't want to hear is uncomfortable. There are actually people that don't want to deal with it...in any way shape or form. I've known this...but I cannot help but feel a little bit of sad awe at this realization...how can you live in this world and feel any sense of peace but be unable to discuss real ideas and be interested in finding actual truth. The search for truth doesn't begin by hearing always and only people that agree with you.

This sad little discussion ended with them saying that politics was like religion...its something you just don't talk about.

I wanted to pull out my hair. Politics is something you don't talk about? Religion is something you don't talk about? In a society of *free speech*, these are the things you don't talk about?

Sigh.

And, since the word "jackass" is being thrown around...lets not forget which party is the proud party of the jackass...

Spineless or Tactful?

One of the *benefits* of looking for work is having the opportunity to see a variety of different management styles, and to work on your interviewing skills. I believe I am getting progressively better at the whole process...the only hitch seems to come from the people I apply too. I say this with a certain sense of self-effacing humor...I know I am not perfect...but I think I am generally hirable, and whatever mistakes I may have made in the past I am not making currently when it comes to work--with full modesty, I'll tell you--I kick ass in my work place. I have the reviews to prove it.

Now, of course, I am not knocking managers of jobs that I apply for when I am not clearly qualified. A great example would be the job at ECCU...I wasn't particularly qualified for it and they filled it internally, so it wasn't overly discouraging.

But the jobs for which I am either perfectly qualified or even overly qualified...when I get treated bad while applying for those jobs, that's just kinda a kick in the teeth. I have had two great experiences applying for jobs...both of which have ended up with employment. I have had plenty of experiences where, in response to a very eager application by myself, potential employers were unreasonable...demeaning...uninterested...dismissive...and down right rude.

Which brings me to my ultimate question...as an applicant for a job...when is the general rudeness of a potential boss too much to stand, and when do you suck it up for the sake of an income?

For a *career* oriented position...How desperate do you have to be to accept the job from the person that makes you feel less than an intelligent adult? Is it worth it? Is a boss entitled to be rude to you (always assuming its not abuse in the work-place)? More importantly, when applying for a job, how much should your decisions be influenced by the behavior of your potential boss? Do you judge the book by its cover, having nothing else to go by?

It seems idealistic, to say that while they consider you, you consider them. It rarely works out that way...I have actually had an experience with a job of that nature...it was wonderful, and I look forward to working with them in part because of how great it was to apply to work for them. But that was an enigma.

Most application processes are something much different. Its expected that demands will be made...but in several discussions of potential work situations I have had over the past several months...its not my work behavior that's being discussed. Its my life and my family's life. Potential employers are making pre-emptive demands on things unrelated to work...and treating me with dismissive disdain.

And I have to ask myself...first, where the hell do they get the nerve to make such demands...and second, how should I respond when I am in the position I am in (trying desperately to find provision for my family). When the money isn't good enough, I can turn them down with a clear conscience...but when the money is enough to make the position tempting...where does dignity factor into finding a job? I cannot be happy if I cannot provide for my family...but then again, I feel like less than a man when I take a job with people that treat me like less than one.

So...are you being tactful when you ignore the humiliation your employer (and sometimes merely potential employer) heaps upon you in the course of your interaction with them? Or are you being spineless?

My wife says "No one can make you feel small except yourself." Which, I suppose, is a truism. Its just difficult to be lectured on the amount of respect expected from you should you be allowed to work for an organization, but to receive little or no respect yourself.

Perhaps its merely pride that urges me to reject their *opening* and throw their repulsive manners in their face. Nothing seems more satisfying sometimes than the thought of being rude to rude people. Man's justice in its prime.

Today I sat through an "interview" which was humilating in its absurdity. To say I don't take my potential employer seriously after meeting with them today would be an understatement. Every problem I had with the arrangement with the GLC this new place has...only they have those problems on steroids and they're looking for a fight. To say I was an after thought as I sat in their office trying to be interviewed would also be a gross understatement. I loathe the very thought of having to work for this organization...but I might have to.

I am not certain what frustrates me more...having to apply to work for people that have such poor management skills (yet, defying logic, are the managers), or the thought that I might have to take the job, even after finding out all that about them.

Sigh.

I'll keep looking and pray to God that I might avoid a year of agonizing in that place. Still...if this is the road that lays before us...its the road the Lord has promised to walk with us on. There is comfort in that.

This next year will not be an easy one...and as Summer pushes on, the question of what the Fall will look like weighs heavily upon me. My blogging has ended with prayers more and more, if you've noticed. I have been learning the need of prayer. The time has come to end this post.

Lord Jesus keep us. We are lost without Your hand to guide us and we are overwhlemed unless You sustain us.

Welcome to the High Country

Its Summer. That much is obvious. The signs of the times are everywhere...

We wear tank tops, all day, every day.

We wear shorts, all day, every day--sometimes to church (one of the few actual positive aspects of living in SoCal...this is acceptable and during the Summer its nearly a necessity...whether you should wear shorts or not).

We go swimming, pools and the beach.

We do the BBQ (last night actually...if you didn't, all I can say is, very likely my dinner was better than yours).

Frappuccinos are more in style than ever.

And chances are, if you're young, in love, and possibly done with school, you're getting married. Because this is the season of weddings.

Now, it might seem odd that *I* would be writing about weddings. I am, after all, a guy. And I am married--have been for three years now--what possible reason could I have to think about weddings? Sheri and I aren't renewing our vows after three years (how wierd and self-involved would that service be? Everyone would be thinking..."Weren't we just here?")

No.

I am thinking about weddings because, as might be expected, I have several friends that have either gotten married this Summer or are scheduled to do so before the end of the season. And having lived through this mayhem, I know what they are experiencing. Its a nightmare. Having survived this nightmare, I thought I would share my wisdom.

Now, first, as an important disclaimer...when I say weddings are a nightmare, I don't mean that I hated ours. I loved our wedding...it was excellent. My wife was amazing and her vision for that day was beautiful...and it is a thing of beauty that we will always share. I honestly don't think there were many things we would have changed about how it went, even in retrospect.

No, when I say, "Its a nightmare." what I mean, of course, is that the build-up to the wedding is essentially purgatory for the heaven that awaits. Its worse than anything anyone that is going to get married could have anticipated for such a joyous occasion. Even in the best of circumstances...nothing is easy when it comes to weddings.

I honestly think its a little amazing you manage to get married and still have family and friends that want to talk to you. Referencing my earlier disclaimer...our family and friends were incredibly generous and helpful. I merely wonder how we all managed to survive and still like each other afterwards.

Because there are so many opportunities for disaster on the road to the wedding, a lot of them revolving around two basic questions: who is involved with what, and the issue of thanking everyone for everything. Which family hosts what events. What friends play which part--do they earn a spot in the wedding party or not?, etc. And then, the "thank you"'s, which you'd better do or you'll probably burn in hell. At least, you'll probably burn in effigy. Oh yes, don't neglect the thank you's...

Gifts as a whole are a sticky issue. The family and friends...they look on it as "Well, I am giving something, they should be grateful!" And for the couple, they are thinking "If you want to give us something, can't you give us things we need or have asked for?" Both are valid points, and both will bring up stress and tension where none should exist. The reality of the situation is, gifts are gifts. But wedding gifts carry more baggage than the newly-weds will on their honeymoon.

Hoo-boy its a mess. The wind-up in the week before is truly insane. Depending on what type of people are involved in the wedding, there may be more tears or more yelling or more stressful multi-tasking than there will ever be again (at least, in the next three years). I spent one on the two days before my wedding driving all over L.A. getting stuff that should have been conveniently located in our neighborhood. Things like this are unavoidable and will inevitably add to the stress that is wearing on everyone.

The day itself, from my experience, flies by. And it is remarkably stress free until the church doors open and the bride steps through the archways. At that moment...well, lets say that in my experience that's the moment most grooms tend to almost unhinge...in a good way, of course. Cause she's actually there...and there's something really incredible about that. At that moment...(I clarify for the sake of my wife) the groom feels very much as if he cannot stand any longer...wants to shout out loud with joy...wants to ditch the whole thing and run away with the beautiful woman walking down the asile to him...all at once. We unhinge...only for a moment and mostly only internally. Now I sound like a girl, gushing. Sheesh.

And the reward for all the stress and build-up of the wedding prep? Sex. Yes, sex...and a new life. Getting used to another person in an entirely new way and coming to understand what a lifetime commitment means...which will, inevitably, be accompanied by its own special type of stress and difficulties.

Marriage is difficult. Getting married is quite hard...not harder than marriage itself, but the whole thing is a difficult thing.

But fear not! The wisdom of one that has been happily wed for 3+ years is this: for all the hard parts...marriage is worth it all and more. Its the high country...and its not easy to get to the high country...its not even easy to survive in the high country...but it can be done. And when you do it...wow is the high country a good country.

Good luck to all you newly wed and soon-to-be newly weds! God bless and keep you in this new chapter of your lives! And don't worry...the wedding and the newly wed ear of your life doesn't last forever...enjoy it for what its worth and endure the hard parts for the good that comes after them!

Happy 4th

Have a good Fourth of July.

Celebrate 230 years of meaningful liberty and freedom.

This is a good country we've made. Thank God for it.

Fixing a Hole...

Where the rain gets in, and stops my mind from wandering...where it will go...

I wish it would rain. We need rain. Washington D.C. has rain. I wish some of it would come our way. I imagine they do too...


Bonus points if you know the song from whence I got my title. Not many bonus points...it is, after all, one from the greatest band ever (to be referenced as GBE from now on...maybe I should post about them? hmmm...) but bonus points nonetheless.

Why Not Me? Why Not Now?

These are the standard questions one asks oneself when setting out to make a fortune. After all, we are told, the money's out there...why shouldn't you get some of it? Why wait? Get out there and make your money work for you! Seize the day! Actualize your potential! Be your own boss!

Yes well, I have heard this all and I am sure you have too. I have even tried various options to make this our reality. In the process of trying to become independently wealthy, I started to consider the nature of wealth. All wealth comes from one source, of course. So I started to pray, as I hadn't since I was a little kid who thought things were very, very simple, that God would grant us the success we longed for. I promised Him service regardless of our fortunes, but I promised specifically that should He see fit to grant us the means, we would not use the money only for ourselves, but to further the work of the Kingdom. After all, as MK's, Sheri and I know all too well the needs of families struggling to do fulltime ministry and maintain support for their basic needs. Who better to entrust with a fortune than MK's, who know intimately very good ways to use the money? So I asked...after all, there are times when we have not because we ask not.

Well, as you may or may not know, my plan did not work. Needless to say, Sheri and I are presently not on any track, to the best of my knowledge, that will enable us to be clear of our own debts any time soon, let alone fully fund missionaries around the world. Honestly, this was disappointing. But we move on and keep working...after all, the commitment we had made to God was faithfulness regardless of circumstance. But every now and then, I have wondered why...why wouldn't God give His children an abundance of wealth? We could do so much with it...why is it withheld?

Well, as so often happens, I was in church this Sunday and an answer to this question was spoken to me in the midst of the sermon. You see, the sermon this week was one of those difficult ones...dealing with the financial status of the church, and the plans to grow their ministries and facilities and the financial needs that are incorporated with those moves. Our Pastor did a very good job of showing how this very practical issue was in fact a very direct part of the life and ministry of the church--which is hard. I was a Pastor's kid before I was a Missionary's kid, and I know. When the talk turns to the checkbook, people get uncomfortable. But its important. There's not a separation between the spiritual life and worship and the financial life of the church. Our church deals with a lot of money...but (despite the best efforts of televagelists to pervert this) those funds are as much a part of the worship as the praise songs. They don't go to the Pastor's private comfort...they go to enhancing our abilities to positively change our community for Christ. Its a big deal, and its important that it be handled with care.

Well, as I listened to the sermon, I started to have the old discussion with the Lord..."Lord, why don't you give me the money to help them? I would...wouldn't it be a great praise to Your name if I (or even just *somebody*) would give the church the total sum that they need for the project before them, and instruct the church to use all the funds they had raised for the project for ministry? Wouldn't that be a good use of Your gifts?"

And as I sat and asked this question, a voice answered me...

"No Chris; that's not the way things work. If I could just give you the money to take care of them, don't you think I could just give them the money they need? The point isn't getting them the money...they are learning faith and trust and understanding a little more of My great nature by having to wait for it to come as they need it, just as you are learning to depend on me for your needs by not having everything you want given instantly to you. Of course I could do it, but then the lesson would have been missed, and their joy would be less than full. Its not about the money Chris...its about teaching all of you about Me."

It was a moment of clarity. I felt a peace I hadn't before. Of course. So obvious and simple, naturally I was too short-sighted to realize it.

Lord, grant me mercy when I presume to know the best way for my life and even for others.

All Things New

Change, for the sake of change, is not necessarily a good thing. However, there are instances in which change is exactly what is needed, whether its to prevent a familiar thing from becoming mundane, or to make my blog more interesting to look at.

Well, clearly I have changed this here blog-o-mine. I hope the new color scheme is to your liking...whoever *you* are, be you friends, strangers, or people who just cannot win an argument and so read my blog. Welcome to the new Isle!

Wowsa that was good!

Dieting can be a real irritating process. Seasons change and holidays and events arise...its hard to stay on track.

We haven't. And its frustrating. Not that we've lost all the ground we gained, but its hard to get back into the mindset. Getting your gameface on, so to speak.

Its especially hard when you find a new treat in your own neighborhood. Something with as much charm and quality as, say, Panera. I heard about this new local bakery/cafe from a friend's blog. We decided to give it try.

For $8 Sheri and I had our fill of a very good sandwhich and salad combo, and even eenjoyed free samples of one of their pizzas (they are new, so I guess they are introducing themselves to the neighborhood by way of generosity...always a sign of a business that's come to play!) I highly recommend it. Its fantastic food, and the atmosphere is great. For the genre that its competing in, I'd rate it a solid 9...with Starbucks scoring about a 7.5. If you're near a Panera, go to it. Now! Go!

Stagehand?

I am looking at getting a job as a Stagehand at the La Mirada Theatre as a supplemental job to the teaching position. If I got it...I would be leading a trip to D.C., coaching wrestling, teaching history and working in a theatre...isn't work supposed to be unpleasant?

A dilemma of faith

As a disclaimer right up front...none of this is intended to be judgemental or divisive. I am not an Anglican, so I have not felt it appropriate to comment in discussions with my Anglicans friends on what I think about the current situation...but I do have thoughts, and this being my blog, I thought it would be appropriate to air my thoughts out here. They are not limited to the question the Anglican church faces at present...that church is merely the best example right now. I've posted about this before. I recognize that I cannot give all opinions a fair hearing in my summations...I am just trying to consider what I see happening as best I can.

I have several friends that attend the Anglican Church that Sheri and I used to attend. Its a great church, though it seems to be quite solitary amidst the storms that are currently racking the Episcopal communion. For those of you that don't know, and don't care to read the articles, essentially the new leading Bishop of the ECUSA is a woman from Nevada, who is staunchly in support of homosexuality.

Reuters/AP
21, June 2006
WASHINGTON -- Newly elected leader of the US Episcopal Church Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori said yesterday she believed homosexuality was no sin and homosexuals were created by God to love people of the same gender.

The bishop of the Diocese of Nevada was elected Monday as the first woman leader of the 2.3 million-member US branch of the worldwide Anglican Communion.

Interviewed on CNN, Bishop Jefferts Schori was asked if it was a sin to be homosexual.

"I don't believe so. I believe that God creates us with different gifts. Each one of us comes into this world with a different collection of things that challenge us and things that give us joy and allow us to bless the world around us," she said.

"Some people come into this world with affections ordered toward other people of the same gender and some people come into this world with affections directed at people of the other gender."

Bishop Jefferts Schori's election seemed certain to exacerbate splits within an Episcopal church that is already deeply divided over homosexuality, with several dioceses and parishes threatening to break away.

So much so, that the Anglican Bishop of Rochester, Michael Nazir-Ali, has suggested that the issue of electing a homosexual to the position of Bishop will look like "an interesting footnote" in comparison to the agenda that comes with this newly selected leader. He, and other conservatives of the church, are demanding actions be taken by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams. It looks more and more as if a split truly will occur and rend the conservative elements from the liberal in the Anglican/Episcopalian communions.

Now, this is unquestionably a sad thing. That any church should get to this point, in a battle with its own leadership for its very soul, is a tragedy indeed. Yet the issue of "schism" is a very serious one, and the question of how this will resolve itself is dreaded by many who fear that the only solution will be a split.

Here is my problem...I do not understand how "breaking" with a woman that holds her own philosophy over what is plainly said in the word of God is anything less than what we do with any other person who is in fact lauding a falsehood as truth. We recognize that there is a separation between us and them...not to keep them at arm's length, but to make it plain that they do not speak for the true followers of Christ.

If property rights come up as a result...so be it. But that cannot be the basis for action or inaction.

Neither can the question of standing for the right, even if it means separating, revolve around whether or not it makes people like us.

And it certainly cannot revolve around the question of the authority of the individuals of the church to stand and reject those in authority, if and when they (those in authority) have lost their way.

The authority of the church resides in its continued faithfulness to the word of God. If that fades, so does the authority of the church, and regardless of the title that precedes someone's name, any Christian founded in the word of God may and should challenge someone who is claiming to be representatives of God's word while ignoring the teachings found within.

I don't think peace and unity are to be cast aside with reckless abandon. But neither do I think you should hold tightly to the name of a church or denomination when that church or denomination has lost its way. All are either followers of Christ or they are merely lost and dying. You say you follow Paul, I say Peter...but both Peter and Paul had better be following Christ or its all for naught; and if either of them isn't following Christ then we should challenge them and if they won't repent we take on the lead, letting them lay where they fell.

Redemption for those that choose heresy over the truth is possible...but that cannot compromise the mission of the Church, which (whatever name it goes by) is to stand as a light of Christ's truth, love, justice & mercy. You cannot be a light when those that share your name are continually dragging the light through the mud and the mire.

I realize that there are always conflicts within the Church. Stupid people do stupid things all the time that shame the name of Christ. I know I have! But this is a specific instance where the lines should be clear: liberals in the Anglican church would see the leadership evolve the church into something it is not. If the leaders won't repent, they can no longer lead. If they say you have abandoned the church and cannot call yourselves members of that body any longer, so be it. They have left the faith, and are not a part of Christ's Body. But a middle ground is unacceptable. The time comes to separate the wheat from the chaff. Human institutions fade away; the only ties that truly bind are eternal in nature and they don't revolve around institutions or manmade systems.

Sigh. I have concluded, as I have said earlier, that I am not an Anglican. I am a Protestant Evangelical. Perhaps I cannot appreciate this problem to its fullest extent. I know that there are problems (deep seeded problems) with the Protestant traditions...there are reasons there are multiple forms of the Baptist church! Still, I don't think that you must live with one sickness to avoid the other. I think its possible to stand and even divide over the right issues if need be, and not devolve into a chaotic and schism filled mess. If the Lord is leading, I must believe that by breaking with those that have abandoned Him, you will prosper. I know I have seen that to be true in my parent's lives.

I am praying for my brothers and sisters that are facing this test. It is a difficult time and I don't envy their choice. May God be glorified in spite of us, and may we follow after Him in spite of ourselves.

If you read this and you're involved in this discussion actively...I hope you understand the spirit it was written in. I don't think this is a pleasant choice to have to make. I just think there is a clearly right and a clearly wrong option. That probably sounds naive. When are things black and white, right or wrong? I guess, I think they enter that place when it comes down to the presence of truth...is it there or not? I have said before, I am a truth person; I value truth over most things. Perhaps that's a fault...I like to hope that I value truth and use it to give me insight into how best to love and achieve peace...but I know what I am and what I have a tendency to be. This new presiding Bishop has forsaken the truth, claiming its in the name of love. That's the sign...its black and white. Speak and stand for the Truth in Love...if that costs Peace, that is the price. Peace in this world is not the goal.

Leaving On a Jet Plane

Well...in little less then a year from now...I will be...

See, I got a job teaching at this school. I'm their Middle School History teacher. I also cover 6th grade math...defying all my middle school and high school teacher's guesses as to what I would do when I got all growed up. Better still, every Monday and Tuesday from 2pm-3pm I will be teaching/coaching a wrestling elective. After 6 years I have finally found my way back to the mats, making me very happy indeed.

There are many things that make me happy about this position, as I have mentioned in previous posts. I am working with my old roomie and groomsman, Justin Rupple. I will have a permanent classroom to decorate, and my own desk (possibly my own office) away from the classroom. The wrestling is a big deal...my shoes have begun to despair of being used again. But most of all is the unexpected bonus...

you see...

every year...

the eighth graders...

have a trip...

to one of my favorite places in the world...

for ten days...

and come next March...

it will actually be part of my job...

for which they will actually be paying me...

to help oversee...

a trip to...

THE CITY OF WASHINGTON IN THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA!!!

The trip will include a visit to Jamestown (been there), Williamsburg (been there), Monticello (been there), Gettysburg (driven through it and looked at it as it passed by), and Philadephila (which I have never visited).

Since finding out about this incredible perk...I honestly haven't been able to think about much else. Its nearly a year away, but I feel like a kid the week before Christmas...it doesn't matter how long the wait is...when the waiting is done its going to be SOOOOO worth it!!!

This trip combines many of my favorite things in the world...I love being in places like Jamestown and Gettysburg...and I love traveling...I love staying in hotels...I love traveling with groups that get to experience amazing things together...and, of course, I love Washington D.C. Its possibly my favorite city in the world. Its the closest we have to old Europe in the New World, with monuments and marble everywhere. A testament to the enduring affect of buildings that are not merely practical, but are majestic.

Plus...as a history/politics buff, it only makes sense that I would gravitate towards the center of our nation's mind and history. Even though most things haven't happened there, they started there. And often, many things that happen elsewhere end up being celebrated there in museums or monuments. My dad used to take us to D.C. a lot...a lot. My memories are completely peppered by images of standing either in the spot where John Wilkes Booth ended the life of one of our greatest leaders and imagining what those moments of terror for everyone around Lincoln must have been like, or of standing in from of the ruined bones of the sunken ship in the Museum of American History, imagining what it would have been like to stand on the deck as the cannonballs ripped through the hull, or simply looking at the giant marble image of the giant man we knew as Honest Abe (I'm a Lincoln fan, if you haven't guessed). Its part of why I love history...it wasn't a text book, it was in front of me and I could let my imagination take flight at the thought of actually living in that moment in time.

I also love being in a city with a Metro that is effective. I love being in an East Coast city, where people are focused on life (they could stand to relax more...but its refreshing from the laid back nature of California). I just...love it all.

And I cannot get it out of my mind. I tell Sheri every couple of hours, just to make sure she understands...I am going to Washington D.C. If all my dreams come true someday I will have a job that involves working in that city...something in my field, of course. I could go be a janitor...but, well, lets just say that's not the dream.

Though my Dad recently told me that while he was in Bible college not 25 minutes (a metro ride) outside of D.C. in Maryland, he applied for a job as a night security guard of the Smithsonians. I'm like him...he's like me...that's a dream job, at least, for a single guy it is. Unlimited access to the museums, no crowds, D.C. at night. It doesn't get much better than that. He didn't get it...which, it turns out, was a good thing. He said he might have quit Bible school if that had come through. Life would have been very different indeed.

Oh...and also, I am looking forward to having one of my favorite slices of pizza, located at the back end of the food court under Union Station. Easily one of the best pizzas I've had, and one of the other special parts of the D.C. experience.

Ah. I am going to D.C. Rock ON.

Young At Heart

Being a father has interesting affects.

Some days I have never felt quite so old. I am only 23, yet I am nearly constantly tired...a feature I have noticed goes hand-in-hand with being the parent of a toddler. I also don't bother getting dressed up for most things...Sheri and I managed a date the other day for our Anniversary (thanks Becka!) and it was the first time when it wasn't for church that we got moderately snazy looking. And dates come with increasingly less frequency. Money is almost not a concern; we don't have the time. Dates, real dates, where we go out by ourselves and do whatever we like...those happen maybe once every 4 months or so. I want to change that rule though...our last one revived us so much we were amazed.

There are those days.

Then there are other days.

Some days I haven't felt this truly young since I was, well, young. When I could do anything physically, when my time was my own (provided home work was taken care of) and when there were still fresh wonders to be discovered in this old world. I remember hanging off the back of a Jeetney, relishing the feel of the wind and singing, or walking on the shores of beaches around the world and looking out at the horizon and trying to understand the immense power of nature while playing in the waves. I remember visiting zoos and aquariums for the first time, seeing animals that were strange and wonderful, like tigers, exotic birds and sharks.

And as I watch my son grow, I taste these experiences again.

His latest delight is birds. He loves birds. Whenever we leave the house he immediately turns his gaze to the sky and points at the birds flying overhead. His clear, high voice joyfully recognizes them as "Ba!" and his eyes are full of the light of life as he traces their flight across the sky. He'll hold his hands together and swing from side to side because his exhilaration is too much to contain.

The other day, some sparrows that had made their nest in the awnings of our apartment building were having a big day. Their hatchlings were learning to fly. One of them was on the ground as Aiden and I came home. We came to see what was going on. The young sparrow couldn't quite fly yet, so he hopped around trying to avoid the large intruders. We watched him for a moment, and Aiden couldn't stop smiling and whispering his secret to himself "There's a BIRD right there and its not flying away!!!" At least, that's what it sounded like to me.

My son keeps me young even as he makes me feel and, in truth, grow older.